Meet the Geeks

Quick word of advice: if you have a major trivia event that you fly 2,000 miles to participate in, DO NOT consume numerous Long Island Ice Teas the night before, no matter how reasonably priced they are. Also, it is NEVER a good idea to return to a bar you were in earlier, except the 2nd time wearing mullet wigs. Our brains are mush, and our bodies are weak, and any worries my wife might have had about me flirting with women can be put to rest. Garbo in a mullet wig made sure of that.

Unfortunately, our fearless leader Swanson is fighting a fierce cold. He didn’t even make it out for dinner last night, and he has been in bed for the past 15 hours. We are praying for a Michael Jordan “Flu Game” performance from Swanson. The rest of us are moderately healthy, though as I stated earlier, extremely hung over. We did not take into account that we’re a Mile High. In fact, we didn’t take into account much of anything. We were accountless. I will be updating throughout tonight’s event on twitter.

Off to Denver

I’ll be constantly updating our Denver adventure here on the website, on twitter and onfacebook. Real time stuff during the actual Geek Bowl will be updated between rounds on twitter. And I’ll be taking plenty of video. In fact, I should have some posted by this evening on the website, so be sure to check back. The mullet wigs have been secured, thanks to the good people at Percy Street BBQ (awesome BBQ, by the way) and my buddy Casey at Flying Fish. Now we just need to find some denim shirts and Philly Ray Cyrus will be complete. Meanwhile, there’s been another anti-Philly battle rap, and it’s actually not half bad. That said, we’re done rapping…we’re going to let our trivia answers do the talking from here on out.

PICS AND SCORES: All of the scores, quizze news, and avatars will be posted on Monday. No time today.

VOTE: What Should I Perform at Geek Bowl?

So there is a quizmaster talent show at Geek Bowl, and each quizmaster gets 3 minutes. Needless to say, no matter what I do, I am going to be booed vociferously. So I have a few options. I can perform an old classic like Flashdance to boos, or I can learn the words to Philadelphia Freedom and really get booed. Or I can just come up with a 3 minute stand up routine ripping Denver and the other cities there. Our team is going with the team name Philly Ray Cyrus, so I could also sing Achy Breaky Heart. Or I could just kick some ass with Ice Ice Baby. Whattya think I should do?

From the Ridiculous to the Sublime

A few points to make here: these charges of me “spreading crotch rot” are both unfounded and potentially libelous. If I have to address this through legal channels, I will do so.

As for the penis of a midget comment: most dwarfism is caused by achondroplasia. Therefore, everything grows normally except the bones, so midgets have normal sized penises. Perhaps if you were any better at quizzo than you are at rapping, you would be aware of that fact.

Finally, did you mention Greenwich Village? Are you aware that Greenwich Village belongs to our overrated neighbor to the north? Something tells me that your team will struggle in the geography portion of Geek Bowl. Assuming, of course, Dicker allows some real trivia topics like geography to sneak into the mix this year, instead of 80 questions about Fruit Loops and animal penises.

And just so uber-liberal Austin is aware of this fact: we hate communists. Consider your Marxist asses on notice: we will be channeling the spirit of Joe McCarthy when we wipe out you pinko commie leftists on the geek battlefield.

Finally, a quick trivia note: The town of Austin was initially known as Waterloo. Ironic, as any Austin team that appears at Geek Bowl is going to meet their Waterloo.

One Week From Geek Glory

Needless to say, my diss rap has caused a sensation in Denver. Denver’s Westword News said that I “sound like Kris Kross as covered by Marty Culp.” Meanwhile, the Boulder Weekly called me a “dweeb”. Jam Master Phil, who was working in Colorado Springs this week, texted me he talked to some people there who were even dissing my rap skills. I may be a lowlife quizmaster here in Philly, but in the greater Denver Metropolitan area, I am apparently kind of a big deal.

The team has been fully assembled. Unfortunately, Jam Master Phil had to bow out this year due to quiz related injuries, but we added some fresh blood to the team. CB4 has played with my team several times at the Westbury, and has a long history of finishing 2nd to Sofa Kingdom at the New Deck in the good ol’ days. And he seems to be pretty damn sharp. Does he know all of his 90s R&B songs like JMP? Perhaps not, but he can definitely fill some gaps. As for the rest of the team, I’ll try to get some interviews next week, but they’re all familiar faces to anyone who knows the quizzo scene. Garbo, Swan, Koob, and Nate Dawg. And while I think I chipped in like 2 answers last year, needless to say my work as hype man has been superb. The team name: Philly Ray Cyrus. Which reminds me: does anyone have a mullet wig I can borrow? (Seriously.)

In other quizzo news: Great week this past week. One match went to overtime, one was determined by 1 point, one determined by 2 points. Should be another great week next week. A couple of quick notes:

Please call to make reservations for next week’s quiz at the Vous. Things have gotten so packed there lately they need to start taking reservations. Black Sheep has been bouncing off the walls too lately. Best shot to get a full team table these days? O’Neals, City Tap House, and Ugly American. We had a great crowd at the American this week, but the place is huge, as is City Tap House. At O’Neals, we’ve had nice crowds the past few weeks, but there has definitely been one table open each week.

Helped a team win Mike’s quiz at the Westbury on Monday. His last couple of quizzes have been really good. Check him out at the Westbury now that he’s moved his time up to 9 p.m. He’s hosting “Mike Magical Mystery Quiz” next week. Two mystery rounds, one of which is a musical mystery round. That’ll be at the Westbury on Monday at 9 p.m. and Terrace Taproom Tuesday at 8 p.m. Have a great weekend everybody!

Popular Denver Blog Does Article on Philly Geek Bowl Team

gbphillyA Denver blog called the Westword found itself on the front page of today, helped no doubt by the star power of a certain Philly quizzo team. Good article, and most importantly, all of the questions from Geek Bowl are posted. See how you do, and then tomorrow I’ll tell you which ones we got wrong. 

 The loudest, rudest, shit-talkingest team of all (Trust Us, We’re Doctors) came all the way from Philadelphia to prove their mettle — a long way to come just to show that you can outgeek the mountain west geeks.

And bragging rights were all the shit-talking Philly geeks were really gunning for — even if they took first place they’d be down $300, they admitted. So team leader and self-professed “hype man” Johnny Goodtimes put together an all-star team of Philly quiz kids (Goodtimes runs his own quiz company out East), started an epic flame war on the Geeks Who Drink blog and flew out to test his mettle in the Mile High City…By the end of the night, the quiz skills of Trust Us, We’re Doctors proved to beslightly less impressive than their shit-talking skills. Outdone by the lack of what Goodtimes called “traditional quiz classics” and the speed of the quiz, which left them unable to exercise their acknowledged team strength of talking out the answers, the final standing found them out of the money, barely. Fourth place was to be their legacy, a true “agony of defeat” sort of standing.

“That’s the worst possible finish,” Goodtimes said. “I’d rather finish 75th than fourth”

Denver vs. Philly: The Smacktalking Has Begun

Needless to say, if the Sofa Kingdom and I are going to dominate in Denver for Geek Bowl IV, we’re gonna need to do it right and rep the Illadelph. And Philly is renowned for its trash-talking capabilities. So I have decided to up the ante by verbally assaulting the other cities that will be attending on their website. As someone who was all but raised by Ric Flair, I think that no great event can go down without some serious smack talk, and, as they say, it ain’t braggin if you can back it up. And I have to give Denver credit. For being a bunch of pencil necked weasels, it didn’t take them long to return the verbal jabs in the comments section. Let the battle begin!