From the Ridiculous to the Sublime

A few points to make here: these charges of me “spreading crotch rot” are both unfounded and potentially libelous. If I have to address this through legal channels, I will do so.

As for the penis of a midget comment: most dwarfism is caused by achondroplasia. Therefore, everything grows normally except the bones, so midgets have normal sized penises. Perhaps if you were any better at quizzo than you are at rapping, you would be aware of that fact.

Finally, did you mention Greenwich Village? Are you aware that Greenwich Village belongs to our overrated neighbor to the north? Something tells me that your team will struggle in the geography portion of Geek Bowl. Assuming, of course, Dicker allows some real trivia topics like geography to sneak into the mix this year, instead of 80 questions about Fruit Loops and animal penises.

And just so uber-liberal Austin is aware of this fact: we hate communists. Consider your Marxist asses on notice: we will be channeling the spirit of Joe McCarthy when we wipe out you pinko commie leftists on the geek battlefield.

Finally, a quick trivia note: The town of Austin was initially known as Waterloo. Ironic, as any Austin team that appears at Geek Bowl is going to meet their Waterloo.

9 thoughts on “From the Ridiculous to the Sublime

  1. You’re the only one who complained about the Froot Loops question AND… it was an animal fucking round, not animal penises, though a few of the latter were contained in the former. Oh, and animal sex is sooooo much worse than ED drugs. Ahem.

    1. “… it was an animal fucking round, not animal penises”. Now there’s a distinction without a difference if I ever heard one. Animal fucking? Is that so popular in Denver it’s a trivia category? Whatever keeps you warm I guess…

      1. Well, what do you fucking expect from fucking dicker. Fucking dicker is fucking interested in all sorts of fucking fucking, ya fucking fuckhead.

  2. Johnny Averagetimes –

    In regards to your response to the Lesbionic Duo’s proclamation of the short coming of your quiz skills and your city, it’s clear that your reaction to the performance was one of belittlement and defensiveness. It seems you may have misunderstood a few points which may have resulted in your hurt feelings. Please allow us to clarify a few items in attempt to make amends.

    Item 1 – It’s not that you HAVE the penis of a midget, it’s that you ARE one. The implication being that your head (i.e. your cranium, not your dick) spends a lot of time in carnie vagina… or Carnie Wilson.

    Item 2 – We’re well aware that Greenwich Village is in New York City; your older, cooler brother to the north. The line, if you recall, was “A poor man’s Greenwich Village.” I hear meth effects one’s hearing, but I could be wrong on that. The implication here being that the only good date locations in Philadelphia are tantamount to Tijuana hooker strolls.

    Item 3 – The original name for Philidelphia was Cacapoopoopeepeeshire. Because it’s a shit hole on which it was appropriate to vacate one’s bladder.

    Suck a cum hole, cutie.
    The Lesbionic Duo and their Tranny

    P.S. You owe that tranny $50. Mostly for the antibiotics.

    1. Be careful out there in Denver, Johnny. They don’t call it the Wild West for nothing. Apparently, you not only have to concern yourself with a demented quizmaster with an obscene monicker who is heavily into bestiality, but also with a hostile lesbian duo and their tranny sidekick who are really into… well something or other, not sure what. Anyway, tread carefully and be sure to use protection.

  3. Calling Philly NYC’s little brother is almost as original as being a lesbian in Austin. It’s been done to death, and much better than the effort you two show here.

    You hate men. I totally understand that. We’re vile creatures. Paunchy, lumpy, and unkempt. So, why try to look like one? I know lots of lovely lesbians here in Philly and they look fabulous, because they’re trying to attract a partner. Not one Mario Mushroom t-shirt in the bunch. Yet, we’re the classless suburb of NYC with no avant-garde thinkers or visionaries. We should all wear vo-tech chains and get faux-hawks, looking like we’re about to change the carburetor on the ’78 Monte in the front yard that would be totally bitchin’ if we could just get her to turn over. Then, and only then, would we be in the social elite class of Austin’s finest citizens who question the intellectual curiosities of life. With pounders of PBR.

    Congrats on placing 3rd JGT and crew. Little New York thanks you, and so do all the lovely ladies of our humble little shithole.

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