A bunch of us tried out for that gameshow at the casting agency? Well, I finally read about it today in Dan Gross’s column. I guess this means we didn’t make the cut.
Sixers dancer Krystal Tini is one of the beauties in the pilot episode of “Beauty and the Geek.”
Ashton Kutcher and Cherry Hill native J.D. Roth are among producers of the show, which pairs brains and beauties to tutor each other in their strong suits all while competing for prizes.
Tini, 21, a four-year dance-team member, didn’t meet Kutcher, but does agree that the actor resembles Sixer Kyle Korver.
Tini will hold a viewing party at her house. She works at a South Philly children’s-clothing store.
A few local guys will also appear as geeks on the WB program, which premiers June 1.

The Kid will be on tap tonight at O’Neals. Here’s what he learned in his first time as quizmaster:
On Tuesday night May 3, 2005 I had my first crack at hosting the Wild Card for Quizzo. I must say, hosting Quizzo was awesome time! Working as a mortgage broker I tend to do a lot of public speaking, but most of the time the crowd is very quiet and subdued. I also had some stage experience where I had to learn how to deal with very LOUD crowds, but that was a little different then Quizzo. It was a lot of fun meeting everyone at Bards and experiencing what it is like to be on the other side of the microphone. I learned quite a few things for my first time, such as; speak in a loud but clear voice, speak slow but not to slow, try to keep things moving, try not
to get in too many side bar conversations or just wait until the end of the round, HAVE FUN because that is why everyone is there for, and just laugh at the silly outbursts from the crowd. Thank you again Johnny for this opportunity and I look forward to hosting again!!!!!

In a move that has surprised many in the religious community, Jesus Christ has decided to move to West Virginia. Said one local religious leader we spoke to, “Is it a coincidence that Jesus moves to West Virginia two weeks after Kevin Pittsnogle declares himself eligible for the NBA draft? I don’t think so.”
note: Johnny Goodtimes is not from West Virginia.

Doc Watson’s will be starting a quizzo contest tonight, and the winning team will walk with $300. Here’s how it will work: Teams will be awarded points according to what place they finish, as follows-
1st place-5 points 2nd place-4 points 3rd place-3 points 4th place-2 points 5th place-1 point. On the 8th week, the point values will all double, allowing teams to come from behind. A team’s highest five scores will be tabulated. So in effect, you only have to play 5 times in the next 8 weeks, but the more you play, the better your chances of gaining points. The winner walks with the cash, and 2nd gets $150. In addition, all the normal prizes will still be awarded. Also tonight, there will be $2 drafts at Finn McCool’s (12th and Sansom) for open mic.

Pedro Mays will be hosting quizzo tonight at Doc Watson’s. Here’s what he learned in his first week on the job:
In my all-too-brief moment of glory, the mantle of Goodtimes
greatness draped across my shoulders, I learned that plastic
bottles are a quizmaster’s worst enemy because they can be
picked up and thrown at you several times. I learned that
despite the bravado and the loud shirts, a quizmaster is only
as good as the questions in front of him and the music he can
play at the end of a round to distract everyone if the
questions sucked. I learned that most people don’t know who
Gordon Lightfoot is, when and where Krakatoa erupted; and I
learned that I am attractive to tables of older women who are
looking for both a younger man to simultaneously nurture and
“educate,” at least according to the notes I found in my
jacket after the show. And I also learned that being
quizmaster for a round does not entitle you to get a free
round for everyone in the bar. Unfortunate.

The Broad Street Run Disappointed, Not Enough Broads won a tight contest at Doc’s on Monday night, knocking off the Y-100 Revolutionary Army, 96-95. As for the lack of broads, most of them dropped out when they found out that Zola Budd would be participating, and they didn’t want to risk their health. In other news, Johnny makes a “Zola Budd” reference in a quizzo story.

First of all, a great job by last night’s contestants. Krystyna was able to hold her own in a Rendezvous bar that ate contestants for dinner in last year’s contest (Just ask Trivia Art, whose “Internet Boom and Bust” Round last year went bust, followed by a loud “boom” sound.) Edge and Moose, meanwhile, were somehow able to be heard above the din that was the Black Sheep, and did so while seeming as kool as…well, a moose. Here’s tonight’s contestants, explaining why they should be the next JGT. Pedro will be at the Good Dog, and Dan P. will be at the Bards. And yo, don’t forget to vote for who you wanna win.

1. I’m short, so I can be crammed into small corners.
2. I train polar bears, “the dolphins of the sea”.
3. I can count to 3.
4. I should not be the next Johnny Goodtimes, because
Philly doesn?t need another. This town just ain?t big enough.
What it does need is someone to keep the big ball of trivia
tradition rolling; to keep the Johnny Goodtimes? franchise
vibrant and yes, virile; and to spread the Goodtimes gospel
far and wide, at least as far as Second and South streets. I?m
not going to try and cop Johnny?s game, because I?ve got my
own (although it will be tough not to throw in an oh-ho-ho my
goodness! once in a while). I am only going to ask you what
you look for in a quizmaster, and tell you with confidence
that I can deliver those things. And I am going to tell you
what I think is the most important thing: the quiz itself.
?Cause you and me are just specks along for a ride on this
crazy place called Earth, brah- and the civilizations to come
will judge us by the quality of our trivia. Or something.
Apart from being professional and being fun, it?s the quality
and originality of the game the quizmaster can provide that
sets the chosen few apart from the rest. I really think that I
can give you a kick-ass game that you?ll have a good time
playing, and I?m pleased to have the opportunity to rock the
mike one night a week wherever fortune takes me. Help me in my
quest to bring better trivia to the people of Philly, and may
the good times never stop.

In 1996 I had the unique pleasure of sitting down and talking with television?s own quizmaster, Alex Trebek*. Though the conversation itself was eminently frustrating, required as I was to pose all of my questions in the form of? well? questions (Trebek can be such a diva), I knew from that point on that I too wanted someday to have a chance to expose the ignorance of others. With nothing but a dream, I left college and bounced from job to job. I had many opportunities to pursue my dream, from teaching – where the requirement to remedy ignorance can be quite bothersome – to roofing – where exposing ignorance goes at best unappreciated and at worst can put one in physical danger at the hands of an axe-swinging madman named Bob. Politics seemed like the perfect fit for a while giving me ample opportunities to speak to voters who didn?t realize that our Constitution wasn?t based on the Bible or who figured the best way to end gun crime would be just to give bigger guns to the ?good guys.? Eventually though, I realized that I was spending far too much time battling wits with unarmed individuals over issues that actually matter. With a chance to deal exclusively in trivia, I can live happy and guilt-free knowing that my sarcasm at the casual bar-goer?s lack of knowledge about obscure, British parliamentarians won?t cause permanent emotional scars (dumb kids) or cost my employer an election. Everyday, I learn at least 10 things that I didn?t already know and will probably forget tomorrow. I want a chance to see if everyone else is as dumb as I am.

*Ok, I saw him at a restaurant by which I mean I was out with friends and I saw him on the television. Although, technically, ?out? means ?in my apartment? and by ?with friends? I mean ?with my Australian bearded dragon, Grendel.?

Thanks to everybody that showed at quizzo last night. O’Neals was packed to the rafters, and even during exam week, the Bards had over 45 people curious about the next JGT. Both contestants (above) did a fine job. Here’s a little bit more info about tonight’s contestants. Krystyna will be at Locust Rendezvous, and Edge and Moose will be at the Black Sheep.

I should be the next Johnny Goodtimes because of my
love for instructional questioning and understanding
that there are such things as stupid questions! I
also love an audience. Not in that “look at me, I’m
important” kinda way, well, that too, but I have the
ability to communicate, project my words and thoughts,
and tell myself to stop when bad jokes come to mind.
This ability was discovered when I was a teacher.
Trust me, teenagers are a tough crowd, and saying
Bueller? Bueller?? was not as fulfilling as I
thought. I have great people skills and I am
considerate of drunks and floozies – thank you
McGillin’s. I am prompt and often dressed
respectably, unless you think a little leg will help.
Frankly, I want the “I was Johnny Goodtimes” on the resume
and I rock. I don’t want to take away anyone’s glory,
or become the newest Quizzo sensation. I would just like
to give it a whirl.

Every one in the city of Philly should come to ‘Moose and Edge’s Black Irish Quizzo Extravaganza’ (working Title). We are two young and exciting individuals very well aquatinted with the Philadelphia bar scene. We know lots of people just from going out that we could get to come. What’s more is that we would be the first team of black guys to host quizzo, that can appeal to all sorts of people, black white, asian, whatever and that we are not total deusch bags like some of the other guys I’ve seen hosting quizzo around the city. We are not only former champions of Goodtimes Quizzo, but have held quite impressive winning streaks at several others around the city. We would be a great addition to the JGT Quizzo Fam ya heard. Goodtimes Crew be runnin s***. Booooooom Selector. Aiiiight.

Thanks, everybody, for coming out to Doc’s last night. A crowd of over 70 was on hand to see Jenny Goodtimes perform, and she didn’t disappoint. Here are tonight’s contestants, and the reasons they think they should be the next JGT. Jam Master Sean will be hosting at O’Neals, and the Kid will be at the Bards. Also, keep in mind that the judges will be looking at who you are voting for, so be sure to vote for who you think should advance to the next round.

-I can undoubtedly and consistently show up 5 to 15
minutes past when I’m due. Ask any of my employers or
former employers.
-My voice is extremely deep. True story. Think
Michael Gerald or Calvin Johnson. Don’t know them?
Well, you don’t know me yet either. I know what
you’re thinking, but it doesn’t sound sexy. Just
deep.
-Reading and arithmetic haven’t posed major problems
for me as of late.
-You won’t feel intimidated by my fashion sense or
facial hair. I possess neither.
-One of my friends mentioned how I tend to drink when
I play quizzo. That’s when I play. Hosting is a
different story. I will stay sober unless the crowd
sends me drinks. Which you are welcome to do. Just
don’t tell the boss about it.
-I’m from the streets.

Being a mortgage broker lets
me meet new people every day in my job and I feel this would be a strong
asset because it has help me developed my people skills. I can be placed in
any type of group of people and find a way to fit in with everyone.
Watching you run Quizzo’s on Tuesday nights at O’Neal’s has been a great
experience and is something I would love to do! My work schedule allows me
set my own hours (which in turn means I have no problems being there every
Monday), I own a car (this means I will not be late), I have a digital
camera & IPOD (for the pictures of the team winners and for the always
fantastic music that needs to be played), and I am on the internet at work
(this is very import so I can e-mail you the results of the team winners and
pictures of the team). I know if you give me this opportunity to assist you
on Monday nights I WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN! Being a very responsible person
has made me very successful in business and intern has made me a very happy
person to be around with. I know how to have a great time and how to make
sure everyone has a great time with me!

Tonight’s contestant at Doc Watson’s for the “Be the Next Johnny Goodtimes Contest” will be Jenny Goodtimes (no relation). Here is her answer to the question, “Why should you be the next Johnny Goodtimes?”
Top Nine Reasons to Hire Jenny “Goodtimes” Oliver
9. Two words: Cleavage.
8. I have friends, and they will attend.
7. I’m not doing anything else on Monday nights. Ever.
6. I have a hearing problem, so I talk loud.
5. Ern doesn’t intimidate me.
4. The Dark Horse is the only bar left that I’m still allowed into.
3. It’s time for Philadelphia to have a female Quizzo Master.
2. I ain’t too proud to beg.
1. All my life I’ve been answering questions: “Can I bum a cigarette?” “Which aisle has the Marshmallow Fluff?” “Where’s my f****** money?” “Aren’t you Margo Kidder?” – Now it’s time for me to do the asking.