Meet tonight’s contestant

Tonight’s contestant at Doc Watson’s for the “Be the Next Johnny Goodtimes Contest” will be Jenny Goodtimes (no relation). Here is her answer to the question, “Why should you be the next Johnny Goodtimes?”
Top Nine Reasons to Hire Jenny “Goodtimes” Oliver
9. Two words: Cleavage.
8. I have friends, and they will attend.
7. I’m not doing anything else on Monday nights. Ever.
6. I have a hearing problem, so I talk loud.
5. Ern doesn’t intimidate me.
4. The Dark Horse is the only bar left that I’m still allowed into.
3. It’s time for Philadelphia to have a female Quizzo Master.
2. I ain’t too proud to beg.
1. All my life I’ve been answering questions: “Can I bum a cigarette?” “Which aisle has the Marshmallow Fluff?” “Where’s my f****** money?” “Aren’t you Margo Kidder?” – Now it’s time for me to do the asking.