Ok, so no murder, and not really that much mayhem, but there was controversy at the Rendezvous last night. The Jams had a perfect score when, in round three, I asked the question, “What train was Casey Jones the engineer of, a train whose name sounds similar to a Burt Reynolds movie?” The correct answer was Cannonball Express. They answered, simply, “Cannonball”. I had taken off a point the night before for teams that had simply written Cannonball, and did so again. They then ran the tables in Round Four and finished one point away from a perfect score, with a 118. So the question I pose to you is, “Was I grading too harshly? Should I have given them full credit for cannonball?” Let me know in the poll below.

Here it is, kids, the JGT 2009 Moneyboard. This does not include results from last week or so far this week. Also, a couple of teams who keep changing their name might have been skipped. Keep in mind, Bards and the Black Sheep both offer a $40 fiirst place prize, Ugly American offers $30 first place prize, and O’Neals and Locust Rendezvous offer a $25 first place prize.

Wow! What a week! First of all, Quiz on Your Face won in their first ever appearance at the Bards. Then we had one of the biggest upsets in quizzo history, as the Barstool Racers, who finished last two weeks ago (and have the My Little Pony coloring book to prove it), knocked off the Jams at the Rendezvous. Duane’s World (going by Eschaton) crushed the opposition at the Black Sheep, winning by 32. That perhaps got them fired up for THursday night, when they came from behind in the 4th round to edge the L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics at the Ugly American, 108-104, and end the Diabetics 8 game winning streak. That did not, however, affect our power rankings all that much. Here’s how they currently stand:

1. L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics-They won 8 straight and carried a perfect score into round 4 last night, only missing two questions all game. This is simply the best team in quizzo. 
2. Duane’s World-To be the man, you gotta beat the man, and Duane’s World did just that. In addition, they blew the other squads out of the water at the Sheep. Of course, I’m a little bitter I had to pay them $35 last night. These Bounty Bowls are hurting my net income. 
3.  Hurtin Bombs-A nice win Thursday, but whither the future of the Bombs? Rene (the guy who looks like Erik Estrada with a moustache) leaves town today, leaving the future of the squad up in the air.
4. The Jams-Their worst performance in years drops them in the rankings. 74 points was a fluke, however. I expect them to bounce back big next week. 
5. Stimulate Your Prostate-The artists formerly known as the Sofa Kingdom simply haven’t been the same since Swanson left town. Koob and Nate are on the Atkins Diet: is it affecting their brains?
6. Why’s John’s Rum Gone-There is a lot of parity at O’Neals, but out of several teams that are very close in talent, John’s Rum gets the edge. 
7. Quiz on Your Face-Have proven to be a real rival for the Jams, then went on the road and won at Bards. This is a team on the rise. 
8. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion-They could swing either way: Becoming the team to beat at Bards or take the rest of the summer off. We’ll see. 
9. Sir Lancelost-The team that always changes their name didn’t play this week, but in the two weeks previous they won at O’Neals and then Rendezvous, so they crack the top ten. 
10. Barstool Racers- An honorary degree, as their persistence and refusal to quit after numerous last place finishes finally paid off in a startling upset. An inspiration to us all.

Others receiving votes: Lambda, Savage Henry, Same Name as Last Week, 1022, Catdog, Axis of Evil Knieval

Things are getting a bit ridiculous down at the Ugly American. With the Sofa Kingdom in disarray, the Hurtin’ Bombs hurtin’, Lambda invisible, the Jams in a mild slump, and having defeated Dwayne’s World several times, L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics have proven themselves to be the best team in JGT quizzo right now with an 8 game win streak. Tonight they go for 9 straight, and if any team can beat them they will get $35 cash in addition to the $30 gift certificate. (That’s $65 total, and if you needed me to tell you that, you won’t win tonight.) Action kicks off at the Ugly American (Front and Federal) at 8 p.m.

Action moves to the Bards, which has been WIDE SLAM OPEN the past few weeks. To be honest, things are pretty interesting at quizzo right now as a power vacuum has enveloped the Bards, with two of its top two teams (The Kingdom and the Bombs) in disarray and the Dysfunktion out of town for the summer. This has been the first time since we started at the Bards in 2004 where things are really truly wide open, and anybody can win the $40 gift certificate on any given night. The power, the glory, and the money are yours for the taking. Just sayin’. Action starts at 10:15 p.m.

The hottest team in quizzo these days resides at our newest spot. L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics, who were one question away from perfect a couple of weeks ago, have been dominating at Ugly American to the tune of 5 straight wins (and 7 out of the first 9 quizzes there.) So tonight, if another team can take the title away from the Diabetics, they will go home with not only $30 off their tab but an extra $20 in cash. Battle takes place at 8 p.m. sharp at Front and Federal. Hope to see ya there!

A quizmaster’s worst nightmare was barely avoided not once but twice this week. On Tuesday, the magic of Harry Houdini prevented Hurtin Bombs from becoming the first ever team to achieve two perfect scores.  It was a before or after 1923 round, and the question was “When did Harry Houdini die?” They had After, scratched it out and put Before. The answer was After. It was the only one they missed.

L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics had me sweating bullets on Thursday at the Ugly American, as they had a perfect score through the first 39 questions. The final question was, “What element melts at a higher temperature than any other metal?” They answered Titanium, the answer was Tungsten, and I breathed a deep sigh of relief. 

Any lady looking for an advanced career in the burgeoning quizzo market is advised to apply for the Kinky Quizmaster post at Valanni. I have to admit, I’ve never played Kinky Quizzo (at the risk of sounding supercilious*, I try to keep terms like Cleveland Steamer and Roman Helmet out of my conversations these days), but I suppose it could be interesting. 

“Got a big mouth, a dirty mind?” asks Karwoski. “Are you quick witted, well-read? Always dreamed of talking Dirty Sanchezes and getting paid? Think you can handle the mic? I’ll be the judge of that. Bring it!  Compete to be the next Kinky Quizzo host at Valanni.”

Anybody ever been to one of these things? Let me know how it was. 

*I suppose using words like supercilious makes me sound supercilious.

 
Well kids, it’s off to Hotlanta for a wedding. The Sandman will be filling in for me tonight. Ugly American at 7:30 p.m., Bards at 10 p.m. Been an interesting week of quizzo, to say the least, with 3 upsets in 4 quizzes. That blues round really seemed to even the playing field. In the soundtrack of my life, the Muddy Waters song above would be playing when I walked down the street. It would all be in slow motion and beautiful women would be making eyes at me as I walked past and dudes would know not to f*** with me. I’d have a toothpick in my mouth. What song you got playing as your “Walk down the street song” in the soundtrack of your life.