Ok, ok, so I’ve been a slacker lately, and I haven’t done a good job of posting 100 point scorers. If your team scored 100 or more, and won, please send me an email so I can post them on the 100 point club. Also, tell me roughly when and at what bar it occurred. Shoot me an email ro just post below: johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com. Thanks.

Well, Philadelphia Magazine came out with it’s latest edition, and the winner of best quizzo went to…are you ready for this…NOBODY! Yet again, Philadelphia magazine has insulted Center City by neglecting to include one of it’s favorite pasttimes. While they were able to cover such favorite Philadelphian pasttimes as “Books About Meat”, “Cocktail Waiter at a Stephen Starr Restaurant”, and “Best Pooper Scooper Service”, quizzo is apparently not quite as popular as dogs***. And to add insult to injury, the best place to indulge your inner nerd was a scrabble club. As you might imagine I am so incensed that I am just giving away money. Whoever writes the best (sarcastic/funny/creative) letter to the editor of Philadelphia Magazine about the exclusion of quizzo in their “best of” edition will win $40 cash. (I’ve had some trouble with the message going thru. If you do too, just email editor larry Platt at lplatt@phillymag.com). Nothing threatening or personal. Well, nothing personal about the editor. If you want to write something personal about the magazine, go right ahead. Just write the email to them, and send me (johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com) a copy of what you have written. All entries must be written by August 12th. I will post the best ones on the website, and the one I like the best will get the $40 cash. No, you do not have to be identified by your full name.

Hey, I’m taking the Yuengling tour today. I’ll tell you all about it when I get back. Also, I posted on Craigslist that I’m looking for unique and bizarre music for the big event. Here is an e-mail I got back.
“hey!!! let me know if you would like to jam/ hear what ive got going… nothing else like it in philly! peace -Earl”
I wrote Earl back, asking him to be a bit more descriptive. Here is what I got in return.
“there is only one way to find out what kind of music i do ….call me if you want to jam. ‘talking about music is like dancing about architecture’- Frank Zappa
-earl”

Hmmmm. Should I be intrigued…or frightened?

The Cracked Eggheads won (impressively, I migth add, the two person team scoring 103) at the Good Dog on Thursday night, then gushed about how excited they are that an Applebees will be soon be opening right across the street. “At long last,” said Afrikaans Sampson of the Eggheads, “We get some decent food in this city. I’m so sick of going into a restaurant and not knowing exactly what the food will taste like before I eat it. Finally, I can eat something here that will taste EXACTLY the same as it tasted when I tried it in Des Moines. And there’s nothing that shows that your cooking some Grade A steak like smothering it in cheese. Mmmm-mmmm.”

Yeah, in Manhattan you might run into Flava Flav. But only here in Philly will you run into a Flava Flav impersonator singing along to the Rod Stewart song on the Mako’s jukebox and dancing in the street like I did on Tuesday night. And people wonder why I love this city.

Jason Whitlock of the Kansas City Star doesn’t think so. He thinks the NFL is wrong for not paying it’s players enough. A few thoughts about this topic: A) who cares? I mean, seriously, big name players hold out every single year. I’m sure TO has kept himself in shape and will be back on the field for week #1. B) TO’s right. He does deserve more money. And if he had handled this the right way, he’d probably get more. But since he’s an idiot and his agent is a snake who I hope is riding in a car with Toby Keith that plunges over the side of a cliff, he’s practically forced the Eagles to not give him more money. C) In the book of what not to do, how about rule #1: insult your Pro Bowl quarterback. Rule #2: Talk about the fact that your family is starving. Rule #3: Pull above stunts in Philadelphia. D) I can’t believe I’m freaking discussing this, since it is the most played-out topic in the history of the world. I’m disgusted with myself.

Johnny Goodtimes apparently has a new title to add to his resume, as Philebrity.com refers to him as the “King of Karaoke”. While Johnny has occasionally wowed patrons of McGillan’s Olde Ale House with his rendition of “Flashdance (What a Feeling)”, he never thought that this alone made him any sort of karaoke monarchy, not even a duke or a marquis. Also, I think that their “pool gang” idea is kool with a k. I hit the pool yesterday at 17th and Catherine and it was awesome.

Here’s the article I wrote for the City Paper. By the way, Se-or is Senor. Apparently the enyae (sp.?) machine conked out.

Pro Hac Vice recorded a big victory at a private party at the Black Sheep on Tuesday, but it wasn’t really their biggest win of the day. Earlier, they had been part of the prosecution team that succesfully prosecuted O.J. Simpson for cable piracy. The prosecution had been presented a setback when the remote control for the television had seemed a little too small for OJ’s hands, but were able to perservere. O.J. said after losing the $25,000 that he was innocent, and that he would “never stop searching for the real pirates.”

This was written into the comments section by Dirty Sanchez under last week’s Locust Rendezvous story. Looks like we have a rivalry forming. “Jams might want to think about finding a different bar to do Quizzo in if they want to keep winning: Unlawful Presence is in the house and we’re holding on to the title. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. And once Jams leaves, you’ll be singing Bananarama: “Cause it’s a cruel, cruel, cruel summer. Now you’re gone. Leaving me here on my own.”

Also, this gives me a chance to post this comment about Toby Keith, just in case anybody missed it. This came from anonymous after I wished Toby a happy birthday and said that I hoped he would jump off a cliff. “To be fair, Toby ‘I’m such a dumb f**k that all I can do is spout half rhyming platitudes about ol glory while forgetting what it actually stands for and by the way how about my counrty fag mullet’ Keith should drive off a cliff in his new, freedom loving (except for the oil it consumes, thereby supporting our enemies- wow, freedom is complicated, huh you big Jackass?) ford oil guzzler. Then I’d be happy. But not jumping, that’s for freedom haters. I hope he chokes on his.”

And the picture above is of a guy who played at O’Neals a few weeks ago. The first ever JGT Quizzo Spectacular participant with gold teeth. Finally, be sure to pick up a copy of tommorrow’s City Paper. There’s an article by Johnny Goodtimes inside.

What does a fujita scale measure? No, not fajita scale. Fujita scale.