The letters continue to come in, but in the words of the Pointer Sisters, “I need more, more, more!” (They follow that with the words, “Jump for my love”, but that line is irrelevant to our current mission.) Send a letter to Philly mag’s Larry Platt (lplatt@phillymag.com), complaining about the exclusion of Quizzo in his best of edition. Best letter gets $40 cash. Also, be sure to vote below for your least favorite Philadelphian. I really think it’s a toss up between Ed Wade and John Street, but so far Eskin has several more votes than Wade. Here’s Will Bunch’s list of the 100 people who are screwing up Philly. Finally, be sure to come up with a good title for a golf porn movie starrign Tag Ridings and Jenna Jameson. Best title gets a $15 gift certificate to Good Dog.

A team of investigators who looked into the plane crash in Toronto won at the Good Dog on Thursday, playing as a team called Don’t Kick the Baby in the Crotch. The team concluded that the plane had landed too long down the runway. When asked what evidence supported those findings, they said, “Well, there was this giant plane that ended up in the trees at the end of the runway, so that was our main clue.” The experts added that if the plane had landed in trees at the start of the runway, then it might have meant that the plane had landed too short. They also said that they think the Air France plane was a plane coming from a country in Europe, and that the person at the controls appeared to be “some sort of pilot”.

Dunno if you saw last night’s wild finish between the Phils and the Cubs, but I haven’t seen anyone explain the ruling of the play. With the bases loaded and one out, Pat Burrell struck out, but the catcher dropped the ball. Burrell began running to first. The catcher got the ball, and then threw to third to try to catch runner Jimmy Rollins off the base. Rollins then ran home and beat the throw from third back to home. Some guys at the Black Sheep were yelling that all the catcher had to do was touch home plate for a force out, and I thought so too. After looking in my handy baseball rule book, I found that that is not the case. With first base occupied and less than two outs, the batter is automatically out, and cannot advance to first base. There was no force play on, and Burrell was automatically out. Had there been two outs and Burrell struck out swinging, then yes, there would have been a potential force play at home. Sorry, I know there’s been a lot of baseball stuff lately. But that play was particularly wacky, and they didn’t explain the ruling anywhere that I read about it.

Let’s learn about the most perenially mediocre team in the history of sports. (Sorry if I sound a bit cynical, but Monday’s loss just took me over the edge.)
-The first ever baseball game broadcasted on the radio aired on August 25, 1921, in Philadlephia. The Phillies, get this, lost to the Pirates, 8-5.

-There were efforts to call the Phils the Quakers in the 1910s and the Blue Jays in the 1940s. Neither name stuck, and therefore “Phillies” is the longest continuous name fo a team in all of professional sports.

Continue reading “Phascinating Phillies Phacts Are Phun!” →

The Man in Black returns to Fergie’s Pub (12th and Sansom) tonight at 10 p.m., giving me another opportunity to use the above ad (It was an ad taken out in Rolling Stone a few years ago and reads, “Johnny Cash would like to acknowledge the Nashville music establishment and country radio for your support.”). Oh, and happy 79th birthday to Tony Bennett.

Really good article in today’s Philly Weekly by my buddy Jesse Smith (One of the Centralia Seven) about the closing of Doc Johnson’s on Arch. (Note: not for the Puritanical.) Sad to say, I never went inside. Did anybody here ever check it out? If so, feel free to leave a comment, telling what it was like. You may maintain your anonymity, of course.

Wanna say thanks to the five people who have so far sent letters in the “Complain to the editor contest.” They’ve all been good, but there is still a chance for each of you to take home the $40 cash. Just send your letter to lplatt@phillymag.com, telling him why it’s ridiculous for quizzo not to be included in their best of edition. Then send me a copy of the letter at johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com.

I had agreed to join some friends of mine (former Bards champs the Goats) on a trip to the Yuengling brewery on Saturday, but had announced that I would probably not join them on the ensuing drive to Centralia. Though I thought that a town that was evacuated due to an underground fire was pretty kool, I had seen some photos online, and they seemed pretty uninspiring. So I drove seperately, and met up with the other six (some of whom you might remember from my Live 8 experience) at the brewery.

Continue reading “Mine Fire breeds zombies” →

There is a bit of dark humor in the presidentialpicture below last Thursday night’s Bards story (Click there and then scroll down). Can you figure out what it is?

Today is Chuck D’s birthday! Here’s an interview he did last year in Motherjones. For those who don’t know, Chuck is from a long ago period in rap, when intelligent young black men expressed to the world their feelings and beliefs through poetry, defying all stereotypes in the process. It was unlike the commercial “gangsta” crap that suffocates the airwaves today (50 Cent is garbage). Though there is still a decent amount of thought provoking hip hop being produced, and there are still some really great rappers out there (Jay Z, Common, Mos Def), I feel like the powers that be would rather promote thugs that perpetuate long held stereotypes than present any sort of intelligence or thought. That’s why the Roots aren’t on MTV or Power 99, and Lil’ Jon is. When Chuck D was king, rap was a powerful tool for the voiceless to be heard. Now it’s just another crappy mainstream fad.