The USA-Italy match was awesome, marred only by absolutely dreadful officiating. Well, after the match, it was discovered that the referee, who had kicked two American players out of the game, had been kicked off the 2002 World Cup for “irregularities”. It makes it even more interesting that the team we were playing, Italy, is currently in the midst of a major game fixing scandal. One of the charges? The manipulation of referee assignments. Wow, how interesting it is that a team being investigated for manipulating ref assignments just happens to get a ref with a crooked past who tries to hand them the game on Saturday.

Oh, and WTFer Matt Eison is in Germany for the World Cup. Here is his latest report:

Continue reading “Was the fix in?” →

Just tune your television into Univision the entire time the World Cup is on. Don’t ask me any questions or talk back. Just do it. The action between games is absolutely mind blowing. Even Joe Vento himself cannot argue with the quality of Spanish television. (OK, so of course as soon as I posted this they actually started talking about soccer, but be sure to tune in manana! The between game action is an endless procession of sexy Brazilian women dancing while dudes bang on drums and scream. It is awesome.)

Buster Douglas over Mike Tyson. ‘Nova over Georgetown. The Miracle on Ice. Most arguments about the greatest upsets in the history of sports center around these seminal events. But barber shop debates are a little livelier this Monday morning, as a new contender for “Greatest Upset Ever” has emerged: Johnny Goodtimes, a lowly 66 seed, knocked off the top three seeds in succession to walk away as the champion of the Pabst Blue Ribbon Philadelphia Rock Paper Scissors City League Championship Series (or PBRPRPSCLCS for short). The champ, who earned $1000 for his expertise and skill, explained his inspiring win. “It was an almost religious experience, where my mind wasn’t leading my body, but my body was leading my mind. I was in a state of zen, where everything I did seemed pre-ordained, and where I simply followed my destiny to the summit of my awesomeness.”

Continue reading “The Scissors Heard Round the World: 66th seed Johnny Goodtimes emerges as Philly’s RPS Champ” →

Man, this match between the Netherlands and the Ivory Coast is awesome. The Netherlands leads 2-1 after one half first half. A fight almost broke out when a member of the Ivory Coast barely touched the goalie. The Dutch are such whiners. Seriously. They bail to the ground and hold their ankles every tie a member of the opposite team comes within five feet of them. It’s pathetic, and the refs even yellow carded one of them for it. Of course, I’m rooting for the Ivory Coast. The country is in the midst of a civil war (though the violence has died down a bit in recent years, and there has supposedly been a cease-fire since the team qualified or the World Cup) and the team had to spend a week in prison after a poor showing in the 2002 Africa Cup. Hard to root against a team that is dealing with that kind of stuff in their day to day lives. One thing that’s kind of cool about the World Cup is that it gives us a chance to learn a little something about countries that we wouldn’t ordinarily think about. So take a sec and read up on the Ivory Coast.

Trivia Art only began posting on foobooz.com a few short weeks ago, and already he’s been written about in Philadelphia Will Do, Blinq, Attytood, and Gridskipper. And now, today, you can find him in the Metro. And in other food news, the Great Pizza Hunt is back in effect. Yeah, I needed to take a little break, but as of today, it’s back on. Anybody who wants to grab a slice in the next couple of weeks should email me at johnnygoodtimes@hotmail.com.

Trinidad and Tobago is hanging tough with England. With 20 minutes left, it’s tied at zero. England has blown a couple of great chances, and an amazing play by one of the English defenders kept a Trinidad shot out of the goal. OK, ok, I’m coming around. A 0-0 game can actually be pretty exciting. And the fact that Trinidad is playing gives me a perfectly legitimate excuse to post a photo of Miss T & T Danielle Jones.
UPDATE: Damnit, two goals in the last ten minutes propelled the bloody blokes to victory. But that does not in any way affect my feelings for Danielle.

First of all, Happy Birthday to Ice Cube, who turns 37 today. Also, Happy B-Day to Philadelphia’s own Bernard Hopkins, and congrats on what was an impressive win on Saturday night. Alright, that’s enough happiness. Let’s be miserable for a minute, and you know what I’m getting at: yeah, it’s time to talk Phillies. First of all, I want to know, can anyone out there think of a player in major league baseball worse than David Bell? No, I mean seriously, I want somebody to tell me a single player in the majors who is worse. Last night, after four innings, the skies opened up with the Phils trailing 7-2, and I began chanting, “Let’s go, Ra-ain.” But even the rain is letting us down these days. And how much longer before Uncle Charlie is fired? I give it until the All-Star break. We have some really good players on this team (though none of them pitch), and there is no excuse for us to be this pathetic. Something needs to happen, soon, or this is a lost season

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Yeah, I was watching the Germany-Poland match, and saw the winning (and only) goal in injury time. What made it better was that I was watching it on Univision. No, I was not trying to make a political statement about cheesesteaks and to be honest, I can’t understand most of what the announcers say, but I do it b/c I love hearing the Spanish announcers when a goal is scored. “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!” Followed by “GOL! GOL! GOL! GOL! GOL! GOL! (Repeat ten times). And I love the women who are on Univision after soccer. Muy calientes!

In other news my man Trivia Art gets some love on gridskipper for Foobooz. It was Trivia Art who told me that the Philly Style Mag was on newstands now, so I needed to check to see if I was voted Philly’s best quizzo (Remember when I asked you to vote for me like 5 months ago?) Alas, the new issue hasn’t hit the newsstand at Barnes and Noble. My raging ego (I wore a shirt with a picture of myself on it last night, for heaven’s sake) must be kept in check for at least another night.

Looks like Joe Vento is getting more than he bargained for, as white trash from all across America descending on his restaurant, wearing their “These Colors Don’t Run” t-shirts and talking about how lazy immigrants are and you just know the following is happening over and over again:,
“I suppose I’ll have one of them there cheese steaks.”
“Yo, you’se want dat wit’?”
“Well, now, dadgummit, I cain’t quite understand yer English.”
“Yo, you’se want dat wit’?”
“Yer words ain’t makin’ no dagburn sense, but I’ll just take one of them there cheesesteaks to support all of y’all good speakin’ Americans.”

Hey I got Spanish class (I’m an unpatriotic American, stooping to learning that unworthy language, I know, I know), so I’ll holla at ya this afternoon.
Related: Chris R.’s excellent letter to Mr. Vento.

Alright , it’s time to come clean. What are your guilty pleasures-things you know you shouldn’t like, but you do anyway? I’ve gotta say that mine are Pizza Hut deep dish pizza and Dunkin Donuts, both for their donuts and their ridiculously sweet coffe, and Grey’s Anatomy, which I’ve been blasted for in the past. I hate chain restaurants, but Pizza Hut and Dunkin’ Donuts both get a pass. And if I see an US magazine lying around, well, I’ll probably read it from cover to cover. Man, that was really painful to admit. Anyways, I’m interested in hearing your guilty pleasures, so drop a line below.