In case you haven’t had a chance to pick one up, here’s this weeks column. Yep you guessed it, it’s my ideas for worst sequels.
Things we learned last week
Here’s a few questions from last weeks quizzo, with a little more background info on the answers:
1) Rainey Bethea was executed on August 14, 1936. What made his execution unique in the United States?
A: He was the last person executed publicly. The reason we haven’t done it again is because it didn’t go so well. The hangman was wasted.
2) What fighter on Mike Tyson’s Punchout hailed from Philadelphia?
A: Mr. Sandman. If you really wanna waste 2 minutes of your life, watch this uber-nerd get beat up by Mr. Sandman. Eerily compelling.
3) One of the worst movies ever made was also one of 1998s most lucrative. It’s tagline was, “For Love. For Honor. For Mankind”.
A: Armageddon. Here was Roger Eberts review of this tripe.
4) What religion runs the “Psychiatry: A History of Death Museum”?
A: Scientology. Yes, this museum actually exists. Here is a video tour of the museum. To be honest, this museum looks freaking awesome.
5) Who did Elvis meet with on December 21, 1970 to express his contempt for the drug culture, and producing one of the most amazing photos ever?
A: Richard Nixon. Here’s that photo and a little background on it.
6) Hugh Beaumont is best known for playing what character on TV?
A: Ward Cleaver. After leaving the show he became a Christmas tree salesman. Hugh Beaumont rules.
Around the Horn, brought to you by Erin Gray
-It was 96 years ago today that the French noticed something. “Hey, wasn’t there a picture of a lady where that empty frame is now?” Except they said it in French: “Perdon moi, parlez vous un pictorio de femme en la framerie?”
–Here’s the latest from Trivia Art. Did he really think that the Independence Brew Pub was helping us get ahead at anything?
-If I ever rubbed an old lamp and a genie popped out, I’d wish for the same thing I woulda wished for as a kid: a time machine. (Of course, if I ever rubbed an old lamp, I’d probably just get a hand rash.) Anyways, scientists are saying that time travel will be possible in the future. But wait, if time travel is possible in the future, why aren’t any of those time travelers here now? They probably all went to the 20s, when the booze was flowin’ and the girls were easy.
-Hey, Philly just won an honorable mention for best tasting tap water! Get that ticker tape ready, it’s time to celebrate!
It’s contest time!!!
A’ight, I got a $20 gift certificate to the Bards and two IMAX passes to the winner of this contest, and a $15 gift certificate to Good Dog for 2nd place. It’s a sequel contest. You need to come up with the worst idea for a movie sequel that hasn’t been made, and a short plot outline. I want you to come up with some ideas so bad that they make Weekend at Bernies 2 actually not look like such a bad idea. I’ll go first:
It’s a Wonderful Life 2: Potter’s Revenge
Picks up shortly after the original left off. George Bailey still faces charges of Destruction of Property and a DUI after plowing into the tree before he jumped off the bridge. Potter sees an opportunity to put his rival behind bars, and hires Clarence Darrow (played by Spencer Tracy) to take the case. Things look hopeless for Bailey, until Uncle Billy exposes Potter’s darkest secret to the courtroom, and a mistrial is declared. Stan Musial makes his acting debut as Judge Rogers.
Post your ideas in the comment section below, and make sure you leave a name and an email address so I can contact you if you win. Have fun!
Happy B-Day Steve-O!
Happy birthday to Philadelphia underground legend Steve O (above, with Fabio). The Andy Reid impersonator/piano maestro/quizzo host/comedian/damn good guy turns 24 today. Or something close to that. His plans to celebrate? Playing quizzo at Dark Horse tonight. Steve also celebrated early by winning twice at quizzo last week. Go ahead and holla atcha boy Steve on Myspace or drop him best birthday wishes in the comments below. Steve, my birthday gift to you: I’m replacing Lionel Richie with you on my Myspace Top 12!
Question of the week
Only one person intimitely involved working with the Warren Commission is still alive. He was not an official member of the commission, but an assistant counsel to the commission. Who is he?
ANybody wanna play their ipod this week?
I’m getting kind of tired of the songs on my iPod and was wondering if anyone wanted to play some of their tunes at quizzo this week. If you are interested, shoot me an email (johnnygoodtimes@hotmail.com) and let me know at which quizzo you wanna DJ at. First come first serve. Word.
Junk Mail can be fun!
So I got one of those “My late husband sent me a ton of money and I need to give some of it to you, complete stranger” emails yesterday, and being it was a rainy Sunday, I decided to respond (that’s the passport she sent me, above). Here was the initial email, with my response after the jump. She actually wrote back to me today! If I do decide to contact her lawyer, I’ll let you know. Oh, and I hope you will follow her advice to “always be prayerful”.
Dear Beloved,
Glory to God in heaven. My name is Mrs. Anne Marie Joubert from South Africa. I am married to Mr. Abraham Benjamin Joubert, who is a mechanical engineer worked with shell petroleum company for many years before he died in 2004. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.
Before his death we were both born again Christians. Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited a total sum of $10.5 Million ( Ten Million, Five Hundred Thousand U.S.Dollars) with a security and finance company in Europe.
Presently, this money is still under the safe keeping of the reserve company. Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next seven months due to my cancer problems. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke. Having known my condition, I decided to donate this fund to church or better still a Christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in. I want a church or God fearing individual that will use this fund on, orphanages and widows propagating the word of God and give help to mankind. The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that givet.
I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don’t want my husband’s hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner. Hence the reason for taking this bold decision.
I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I don’t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health condition and the presence of my husband’s relatives around me always. I don’t want them to know about this development.
With God all things are possible. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth. Please always be prayerful all through your any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for a church or Christian individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein. Hoping to hear from you as soon as possible.
Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.
Yours in Christ, Read Hebrews13:15v16 New Living Translation
Mrs. Anne Marie Joubert.
After the break, Johnny responds.
Around the Horn, brought to you by Space Invaders
-This is hilarious. Top 10 streaking videos of all time. To be honest, the ones rated 1-4 are the lamest, but the first six videos are priceless. More silly than offensive, but probably not safe for work.
-Bill Moyers, one of the few television journalists with any cojones, talks about Karl Rove’s legacy.
-I care about you guys. I really do. That’s why I want you to hold your right hand up and make the following pledge: “No matter how drunk I get, I will never, NEVER, climb inside a bear cage.”
–Dick Cheney can tell the future!
-The Phillies “Quest to miss the wild card by one game” got a shot in the arm yesterday, as the Phils pulled defeat from the jaws of victory and blew a four run lead for the 2nd straight game against the worst team in the National League. I’d like to reiterate a guarantee I made months ago: The Phils will be tied for the wild card lead going into the final series of the season, then will lose two of three to the Nationals and miss it by one game.
Jams Win (Repped by Popo)
Who wrote the book Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs?