Category: Happenings

JGT Power Rankings

No scoreboard quite yet for the JGTSI (We’ll post one next week.) In the meantime, here are your JGT Power rankings. Still wide open starting at the #3 spot.

1. Jesters of Tortuga (CTH). Finally move into the top spot with a win over Duane’s World at the Black Sheep on Wednesday. On the bright side, we didn’t have to deal with them at the Bards on Thursday. Last week: #2

2. Duane’s World (Black Sheep). Tough loss at home drops them a spot in the rankings. Last week: #1

3. The Jams (Locust Rendezvous). A 2nd place finish at the Vous, coupled with mostly new teams earning Ws this week, edges the Jams back up into third, though they hang there precariously.

4. We Got Nothin’/Savage Ear (O’Neals). A tie for 2nd at O’Neals keeps them in the Top 5.

5. Exhausted Nihilists (Rendezvous). A win over the Jams at the Vous launches the Nihilists into the Top 5. Last week: #11

6.Specific Jawns (Bards). Celebrate Pat’s departure with a big win at Bards. Last week: NR

7. South East (Sidecar). These guys bounce between Sidecar and Bards, and are always in the mix at both. This week, they recorded a 45, our 2nd highest score.  Last week: NR

8. Underground Bard (CTH). Their frustration at City Tap continues, as they tie the Jesters for first, but lose in OT. Last week: #9

9. Feeder Secretaries (O’Neals). An all-new team brashly walks into an O’Neals packed with wily vets like Hooter and Chuff, We Got Nothin’, and  Mapother. We’ve seen a few one-hit wonders come and go lately. Will this be another, or do we have a new contender on the scene? Last week: NR

T-10. Inkspot (North Star). A one-point win over the Stillmaniacs gets the Inkspots outta the teens and into the Top 10. Last week: #14

T-10. Sharktoberfest (Industry). About damn time do they show up at Industry. And whattya know? They come away with a win on the strength of Jen’s literature knowledge! Last week: NR

12. Tempura House.

13. Penis Penis Vagina Butts.

14. L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics.

15. Why Can’t Us?

16. Hooter and Chuff.

17. Careless Fister

18. New and Improved Team Name.

19. Sidecardigans.

20. Formerly Known as School District Employees.

JGT Power Rankings

Ok, so they’re two days late and numerous dollars short. Sorry. I was outta town on Monday and spent yesterday playing catchup. So here ya go. These do not include this week’s quizzes thus far.

1. Duane’s World (Black Sheep). 5 wins in a row keep them on top. A major test tonight, as the Jesters come to town. Last week: #1

2. Jesters of Tortuga (CTH/Bards). Lost at City Tap, but a win on THursday coupled with a Jams loss keeps them in the 2-hole. Last week: #2

3. We Got Nothin’/Savage Ear (O’Neals). A win in Double OT at an O’Neals packed with top teams get vaults the into the #3 spot.

4. Jams (Locust Rendezvous). A devastating loss at the Vous drops them a spot in the rankings. Last week: #3

5. Penis Penis Vagina Butts (City Tap House). A 10-point win over the Jesters launches them onto the national consciousness. Last week: NR

6. L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics (Locust Rendezvous). Are the Diabetics back? A perennial Top-5 team, they had fallen on hard times recently. But a blowout win at the Vous last week has caused other teams to take notice. Last week: NR

7. Careless Fister (North Star). Two straight wins at North Star. This is a team to keep an eye on. Last week: #6

8. New and Improved Team Name (O’Neals). Lose a heartbreaker in OT at O’Neals. Still think this team has the talent to make a run at the Top 5. Last week: #7

9. Underground Bard (CTH). A third place finish knocks them well out of the Top 5. Be interesting to see if they make a move to Industry to get their rep up. Last week: #4

T-10. Laika, the First Dog in Space (Sidecar). Return from South America to get a win at Sidecar and rocket into the top 10. Last week: NR

T-10. Why Can’t Us? (Industry) The former top team at Ugly American is looking to make a run at the new Pennsport spot. Can they keep it going?

12. Exhausted Nihilists.

13. Hobo Cop

14. Sidecardigans.

15. Inkspot

16. Popesack

17. Jitney Spears.

18. I Am a God; Where Are My Damn Croissants?

19. Blazing Sea Nuggets.

20. Tempura House.

Mad Men Quizzo on June 30th

Good news. Mad Men isn’t over on June 23rd after all. Nope, you’re gonna get to enjoy it for a whole other week, as we’re gonna be doing a Mad Men quizzo at the Trestle Inn on June 30th.

We’ve now had a whole two more seasons since our last Mad Men quiz, so there’s a whole lot more to work with. We’re gonna see how much you know about Don, Joan, Roger, Peg, and that detestable Pete Campbell, as well as all of the other characters who have wandered into and out of the various incarnations of what was once Sterling Cooper. There will be controversy, lots of booze, and plenty of scandalous sex. And I will personally buy a pitcher of Happy Hour Whiskey Sours for whomever does the best job dressing up in Mad Men garb. Action starts at 6. Hope to see you there!

Next Week’s Quiz is All About You

Gonna kick off the Summer Invitational with a bang…by working backwards. Next week’s quiz, Week 1 of the JGT Summer Invitational, is all about you. I’m gonna ask you about things that you do and don’t like, and I’m gonna make questions out of your answers.

A few days ago, some friends and I were kicking around our Top 5 lists on various topics, from sports to movies to TV and so on. And I thought: this would be a fun way to write a quiz. So here is how it’s gonna work…in the next few days on facebook, I’m gonna be asking you to post your superlatives. Your favorite (and least favorite) movies, TV shows, bands, places you’ve visited, etc. I will then take your answers to those questions and form questions out of them. (i.e. if someone says Godfather is their favorite movie, I may ask a question at next week’s quiz like, “The horse’s head found in what film was delivered to the set from a dog food company?” Or possibly something less weird.)

I hope you’ll contribute…this experiment won’t work without your feedback. And please help me spread the word by clicking “Like” below. The more people who contribute the better.

If you aren’t already a member of the Johnny Goodtimes facebook page, just ask to join and I’ll quickly put you in. Gonna be a great way to get to know you guys better and a fun and unique way to write a quiz. Our format for next week will be quite different than normal. This should be a lot of fun.

JGT Power Rankings

Our Top 3 just keep on rolling, but after that, things are really wide slam open. Anybody could crack the Top 5 with an impressive performance this week.

1. Duane’s World (Black Sheep). A 26 point win at Black Sheep makes it 4 in a row. Last week: #1

2. Jesters of Tortuga (CTH/Bards). 4 in a row at City Tap House. 3 in a row at Bards. Will they take on Duane’s World this week in an effort to gain the top spot? Or are they still yellow bellied crumb bums? Last week: #2

3. The Jams (Locust Rendezvous). Escape with a one-point win at the Vous on Wednesday. 4th straight win at Vous. Last week: #3

4. Underground Bards (CTH/Industry). The Four-spot is wide open. This is the 4th team to get the #4 ranking in 4 weeks. It hasn’t worked out so well for the previous occupants. Can the Bards record another win this week and stay in the Top 5? Last week: #8

5. We Got Nothin/Savage Ear (O’Neals). They brought a skeleton crew to O’Neals on Tuesday, and took a pounding. But with most of the rest of the Top 10 either losing big or taking the week off, they don’t fall too far. Last week: #4

6. Careless Fister (North Star). Will Careless Fister return to defend their title this week? Could we have our first rivalry at North Star (Always Finish 4th vs. Fister, with Inkspot looking to cause trouble for both?) Last week: NR

7. New and Improved Team Name (O’Neals). These guys have won under a different team name. But now that they’re new and improved, can we expect more victories? Last week: NR

8. Sidecardigans. Take a ass-whoopin’ last Monday. Can they rebound tonight? Last week: #6

9. Formerly Known as School District Employees (Sidecar). The bad news is they’re out a job thanks to…uh, ok, we won’t go there. The good news is that their new profession (professional quizzo players) is off to a flying start! Last week: NR

10. Always Finish 4th (North Star). Catch a beatdown at North Star last week to take a tumble in the rankings. Last week: #5

11. Tempura House.

12. Ink Spot.

13. Jitney Spears.

14. Hobo Cop.

15.  Go Ahead Hater.

16. I Am the Nucleus.

17. Ruby Tuesday.

18. Exhausted Nihilists.

19. No-Names.

20. Hooter and Chuff


 

JGT Power Rankings

A lot of people ask me, “Johnny, how do you come up with these rankings?” I laugh, because it’s such a stupid question. Here’s how it works: I hand the scores over to my assistant Kenneth (above). He then plugs them into the JGT Supercomputer, located in the Super-secret JGT Lair deep within in the bowels of the city. The computer performs a series of mathematical equations that take into account a variety of factors (opponent strength, amount of beer consumed per team, weather conditions inside bar) and calulates them, then spits our Top 20.

So if you made the Top 20, you can rest assured that it’s because of a supercomputer that crunched all of the numbers, not because I just sat in front of a computer and just randomly selected teams. Ha! What kind of quizmaster would do that? Especially when he had a Super-computer at his Secret Lair deep within the bowels of the city?!

And please click “like” below if you’re team is in the Top 20. That way our supercomputer can follow your every move and report those moves back to the Federal Government. Thank you.

1. Duane’s World (Black Sheep). Only missed one question at the Black Sheep to maintain a razor thin lead over Jesters of Tortuga. If only the Jesters had any guts, they’d come out to the Sheep and try to take on the Duane’s World and claim the title. I wouldn’t expect to see those yellow-bellied cowards do such a thing, however, since they were born without spines. Last week: #1

2. Jesters of Tortuga (CTH/Bards) This team knows so little about saint dogs. Last week: #2

3. The Jams (Locust Rendezvous). Keep on rolling at the Vous with their 4th straight win, just waiting for one of the top 2 teams to fall. Last week: #3

4. We Got Nothin/Savage Ear (O’Neals). Knock off four ranked teams at O’Neals on Tuesday, rocketing them up the rankings. But can they get consistent turnout from the Toddfather? He’s been a big question mark this season. Last week: #13

5. Always Finish 4th (North Star). A blowout win at the North Star makes it 3 wins in the past 4 weeks for the red hot 4th. Last week: #9.

6. Sidecardigans (Sidecar). A 4th round choke and a devastating OT loss at the Sidecar. Can they bounce back? We’ll find out tonight. Last week: #4

7. No Names (Industry/O’Neals). They tie for 2nd at O’Neals. I want to talk to team member and CSN Hockey writer Sarah Baicker how we can incorporate the “Penalty Box” into quizzo. I want more Power Plays on the Quizzo Scene. Last Week: #5

8. Underground Bard (City Tap House). Another week, another 100+ performance…and another loss. Have to think this would be a Top 5 team if they occasionally took the show on the road, somewhere far away from the No-saint- dog-knowing-cowards. Last week: #7.

9. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion (Bards). Believe it or not, the Bards used to be home to the most intense quizzo competition in the city. Hurtin Bombs, Western Omelette, and Narcotyzing Dysfunktion could all take the Sofa Kingdom on on any given week. So it was exciting to see Narcotyzing Dysfunktion, or at least a few members of that squad, back in the house this Thursday. And they nearly pulled off a win over the Jesters, losing in OT. And even though he’s moved down South, it’s nice to know that Dysfunktion member Matt still makes off-color jokes that are followed by awkward silences. Last Week: NR

10. Look Up Look Down, I’m On a Horse. (Bards) These guys were once a thorn in Steak Em Up’s side at the Bards, and made an impressive return this week, losing to them by only 4. Could Pong be putting the band back together? Might things get competitive at the Bards again? Stay tuned. Last week: NR

11. Hobo Cops.

12. We Drink Your Sizzurp

13. Exhausted Nihilists.

14. Hooter and Chuff.

15. Blazing Sea Nuggets.

16. Ink Spots.

17. Jitney Spears.

18. Electric Mayhem.

19. Tempura House.

20. L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics.

The Beer Before and After Round

People get a kick out of the Before and After Rounds, so I thought I’d post this week’s on here, especially since it’s Beer Week. A beer name forms the first part of the answer, then melds into the second part of the answer. For example, if I said “America’s best selling beer skipped this, just like Procol Harum did in Whiter Shade of Pale.” The answer would be Bud Light Fandango. Got it? Good. And keep in mind, sometimes the match will be in the middle of a word. (So if I said “The King of Beers had this explorer and entrepreneur beheaded”, you’d answer Budweiser Walter Raleigh.)

1. This beer from Latrobe helped inspire a 2012 film that featured Russell Brand, Alec Baldwin, and Tom Cruise.

2. This company bought Anhesuer Busch in 2008, much to the chagrin of Donna, Steve, and Dylan.

3. This malt liquor, often sold in 40 ounce bottles, was nowhere to be seen in a 1988 film starring Kevin Costner.

4. This beer won’t give you bitter face, which may come as a stunner to your opponents.

5. I wouldn’t be surprised if you found some of this beer, brewed by Miller, being consumed at this sketchy hotel on 21st and Spring Garden.

6. This Dutch beer inspired this man to write The Pillars of the Earth and its sequel World Without End.

7.  Drinking this Canadian beer shouldn’t make you fear the reaper.

8. Billy Dee Williams warned me that drinking this could cause Denial, Anger, and Depression, among others.

9.  I’ve heard that this English ale is all that He-Man drinks at this fortress.

10. This Jamaican beer probably wasn’t served at the Neil Stein restaurant that sparked the Philly dining renaissance.

Continue reading “The Beer Before and After Round” →

JGT Power Rankings for June 3rd

1. Duane’s World (Black Sheep). Two straight wins to follow up their Invitational victory keeps them in the top spot. Last week: #1

2. Jesters of Tortuga (Bards/CTH) Can we talk for a minute about how annoying this team name is? While Steak Em Up was quick and concise, this comes off the tongue completely awkwardly. Also they won twice last week. Last week: #2

3. The Jams (Rendezvous). Two in a row at the Vous keeps them in the three-hole, poised for one of the top 2 to fall. Last week: #3

4. Sidecardigans (Sidecar). Three wins in the past four weeks at the Sidecar gets them back in the top 5. And if we ever do a power rankings for what team drinks the most whiskey, they will dominate. Last week: #9.

5. No Names (O’Neals/Industry) A win at Industry two weeks ago followed up by a win at O’Neals this past week rockets them up the charts. And as soon as Molly puts my “Big News” in her gossip column, they’ll probably climb even higher. Last week: #13

6. Hobo Cops (Industry). The Hobo Cops, formerly Top Hat Fancy, climb into the Top 10 with an impressive come from behind win at the Industry. Last week: NR

7. Underground Bard (City Tap House). A 106 would win at a lot of bars. But not at City Tap House when Jesters of Tortuga are there. Have I mentioned what a dumb name Jesters of Tortuga is? Last week: #5

8. Exhausted Nihilists (O’Neals). A one point loss at Sidecar keeps them locked into the #8 spot. Last week: #8

9. Always Finish 4th (North Star). After a recent hot run, they seem to be returning to part of the field where they are most comfortable, with a 3rd place finish this past week. CORRECTION: They won a tie-breaker for 2nd this past week. JGT, Inc. regrets this horrible error and the organization has put in place several safeguards and hired two new “Fact-checkers” to make sure no team has to go through what Always Finish 4th went through today. Just tragic. Last week: #4

10. Ink Spots. (North Star) Two wins in the past 5 weeks, including one last week, propel them into the Top 10. Last week: NR

11. Electric Mayhem (Locust Rendezvous)

12. Jitney Spearks (Black Sheep)

13.We Got Nothin (O’Neals)

14. Tempura House (Sidecar)

15. Specific Jawns (Bards)

16. Blazing Sea Nuggets (Black Sheep)

17. L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics (Industry)

18. Mysterious Mr. Mapother (O’Neals)

19. Nine Inches Limp (Industry)

20. 1022 (Rendezvous)