Steve-O adds another feather to his cap, winning the Donovan’s Fault September contest with a score of 4.45, and proving a valuable point: making fun of K-Fed always pays off. Steve wins a $25 gift certifiacte to the Good Dog and a $25 gift certificate to the Swift Half. Nate finished 2nd, and wins a $25 gift certificate to the Locust Rendezvous. We are starting all over again in October, so be sure to get your entries in!

Hey kids, be sure to sign up for our iSportacus suicide pool on ESPN. (If you don’t have  an ESPN account, sign up for one). The group name is isportacus. Much like filling out brackets, this thing is mostly luck and Betty from accounting has about the same chance of winning as Jimmy the Greek. Anyhow, whoever can go the longest w/o picking a loser will win a $50 gift certificate to a local dining establishment, and 2nd place will get a $25 gift certificate.

MyFoxPhilly does a sort of Best of voting thing every year, and this year three of our regular bars are up for Best Irish bar. I highly suggest you vote for the one you like best. (And if you vote for Kildare’s I will come to your house and beat you with a hot iron*.)

*not in a good way.

As you probably know, I am helping to put together a charity bowling party for this Saturday for the Urban Youth Association’s Rising Stars Program, a group I work with throughout the year. As you also know, there is currently an impasse in the state budget. These two things are related. Money we thought we were getting for this program has not been OK’d, and we don’t know if we’ll get it or not. Therefore we need a good turnout on Saturday to ensure that we can continue running this program and others like it at the Marian Anderson Center. Your help is vital.

The teens have been working on a number of things during the summer program. We learned about Chinatown then took a tour of it to learn more, we studied science then went to the Franklin Institute, and we studied mummies and Ancient Egypt and then went to the Anthropology Museum. They’ve written extensively, and Garbo and BMT have been helping the guys with their math skills. To learn more about the program, and to see some of their writing, click here. They are not huge writing fans yet (I wasn’t either when I was 14) but if you wouldn’t mind leaving a comment on some of their entries so they know people are reading it, it would be awesome (Please no profane or smartass comments. Make those on this site all you want, but not that one). I think that once they see that people care what they have to write, they’ll be more excited about it.

The Rock ‘n’ Bowl party is Saturday night at 7:30 p.m., and runs until 11:30. There will be bowling, live music by Kristy B and the South Philly Yoots, and beer. All for only $20. 100% of the proceeds go to the Urban Youth Association. It goes down at St. Monica’s Lanes on 16th and Shunk (for a map go here). If you take the Broad Street Line, get off on Oregon, walk one block North and then Two blocks west. Easy Peezy. Hope to see you there. Your attendance would be greatly appreciated.

It’s that time of year again. Time for me to finish in the bottom five of my own bracket-tacular, just like I do every year. And time for some of you to win big. All you got to do is go to the iSportacus Bracket-tacular, click on the link, and start filling out your brackets. The person who scores the highest will win $200 worth of local restaurant gift certificates, and 2nd and third also get sweet prizes. The person who scores the least points gets a $25 gift certificate as well. Get crackin’, kids, and remember that, no matter how poorly you do, you’re probably going to beat me.

Alright, kids, it comes down to our top 3 vote getters in the Finals of the 1st Annual Alf Landon Bad Writing Contest. Just to refresh your memories, the purpose was to write a terrible opening paragraph to a non-exisent novel about former Presidential candidate Alf Landon. After a brief (ok, long) interlude, I told the top 3 vote getters that they each had to come up with a new Alf Landon sentence. Their new entries are below, and after that you can vote for your favorite. Voting closes Thursday at Noon.

• WILLIAM: Alf Landon had wooden legs, but his feet were real.
• BENNY: Alf Landon never fully grasped how and why the leaves would change to an autumn brown in the Fall seasons, and in the end it cost him everything.
• BILL: “Alf Landon” is an alias. His real name is Johnny Goodtimes.

Hey gang, I’ve got a few tickets to give away to tomorrow night’s charity event at the Racquet Club! These are a $50 value, with free food and drinks. I will give 2 tickets to each of the first five people to send me an email with “Free tickets” as your subject header. That’s a total of ten tickets, and the five duos will play together as a team. If you would like to have a full team play, contact me as well. It should be fun, and it’s gonna be for a great cause.
UPDATE: Tickets have been given away. If you’d like to have a full team, let me know. Winning team walks away with $1,000.

There is going to be a Quizzo Fund Raiser next Friday night (November 7th) at the Racquet Club at 16th and Locust. It is $500 a team to sign up, BUT LISTEN UP BEFORE YOU SAY THAT IS WAY TOO MUCH MONEY.
1) That includes beer, wine, and hors d’oevres.
2) You may have up to 10 people on your team (so essentially $50 a pop, with food and drink included)
3) All of the proceeds are going to a good cause. That’s why I agreed to do this, because it was something I support. It is the Temple University MBA and MS Student Association Scholarship, which is awarded to the Philadelphia High School Student who has demonstrated academic excellence but needs economic help to attend the University.
4) It will trick people into thinking that you’re classy.
5) I will have some tickets to give away next week, so I’ll keep you updated on that as well.

Alright, we’re going to determine our finalists at the conclusion of this round. Voting ends at 6:30 p.m. on Friday.

• Brian-Teetering on the edge of insanity, Alf Landon departed from the morning fog of Topeka, Kansas to find his true identity. He could not believe the “senseless ramblings” of the local populace, nor stand the persistent verbal assaults. You see, it was well known throughout the greater Topeka region that Alf Landon was the illegitimate love child of TV’s Michael Landon and Alf from Melmac.
• Skip-“JEEWWWWWWSSS!” exclaimed a visibly intoxicated Alf Landon, as he realized he was out of Cocoa Puffs.
• Mike-Lou Gehrig can tell people he was the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, but he wasn’t the one being tag-team blown by Alf Landon and Howard Hughes in a broom closet.
• Matt-Jane Fonda was working as a goat cheese dairy farmer, and Alf Landon was in town for a little payola from the CIA. He noticed her as he bumped a waiter preparing Cherries Jubilee, causing a fire.
• Steve-O-It had been a completely ordinary day at IKEA, until suddenly from the ball pit emerged a naked Alf Landon and a Miracle Whip-coated Sporty Spice.
• David-My mother always warned me about guys like Alf Landon.
• Hunter-The speedy spaceship snaps, crackles and pops around us, our long journey now almost over, as we skid to a stuttering stop on this big blue orb and breathe a sigh of oxygenated relief as finally, at long last, me and Alf land on Earth.