You might be surprised to note that I read pretty much all of the comments on here. Or maybe you’re not surprised to know that. After all, I am a man of leisure. I mean, what the hell else would I do with all this free time? But I have to say that one of my favorite things about this blog is the commenters. Even when the political talk gets heated, it stays moderately respectful in tone and the arguments are usually somewhat fair reasoned, even Bob T.’s. And a lot of the commenters here are pretty clever. Anyways, enough ass kissing, here are a few of my favorite posts from the past week:

-In response to the request, “Tell me some fun facts about Canada“, Wes wrote: If you pull on a Canadian guinea pig’s tail it’s eyeballs will fall out.

-In response to the question of the week, “What 1978 Donny and Marie Osmond movie took place on Hawaii, and was a critical and financial disaster?” Anonymous wrote, Wasn’t it called “No, Seriously, Marie- It’s Legal in Hawaii. Now Touch It”?

-But my favorite came from Gabezilla after I said that I was rooting for the Red Sox:
Once again, Johnny, you fail to see how real life relates to the Transformers:
When we kids, we were always glad when Starscream tried to overtake the mighty Megatron, because we figured dissension was bad for the Decepticons, which was good for the Autobots, which was good for us somehow. But Starscream never did unseat Megatron, and we were all better off because Starsceam, with that obnoxious screach of a voice, was actually more dangerous and careless than Megatron. Sometime into the show’s run a weird, purple character named Shockwave came around. Nobody’s really sure when he came or where he came from, and because he’s really quiet, no one knows much about him. He too tried to take things over, but nobody payed him any mind, even though he had almost no weaknesses. Now that the Yankees (Megatron) are out of the way (indefinitely?), you really want the Starscreaming Red Sox to be established as the new alpha at the expense of the inocuous though boring, Shockwaving Rockies? Sure they beat up the Rodimus Priming Phillies, but, as we all learned, Rodimus Prime was ill suited to wear the crown.
Say no to Starscream people, before it’s too late.

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Some good stuff in this week’s PW. Here’s the highlights:
-Trivia Art and the lovely Ginger (aka Suzy) are both featured in the Taste Mag insert. Not online, you gotta pick up an actual copy.

–Interview with a tattoo artist that is nothing short of amazing. People in the shop tattoo a lot of male genitalia on women. Later I cover them up. Once I turned a penis into Darth Vader. The whole helmet and everything.

–Shakespeare was a perv.

-The most pathetic, most offensive block in Center City Philadelphia is no doubt the west side of 15th street between Spruce and Locust. Fox and the Hound, Buca Di Beppo, and Starbucks form a Holy Triumvirate of generic crap for popped collar douchebags and adventurous South Jerseyites who dare wander out of Old City. And the Wal-Mart of Irish restaurants, Fado, guards the corner of 15th and Locust. Well guess who owns that giant dump of a block? I’ll give you a hint: They are the most hated entity in the city other than the Eagles offense. From PW:
Buca di Beppo, the offensive Italian chain on South 15th Street, is closing once a new tenant for the building is found. We say good riddance! If there’s one thing this town needs less than another Italian BYOB is another crappy chain. Of course considering the space is owned by the Philadelphia Parking Authority, another crappy chain will no doubt sidle up to take its place.

If a wildfire like the one in California struck Philadelphia, and by some queer luck destroyed only the Philadelphia Parking Authority, wouldn’t that just be awful? That would just be awful.

-The best opening sentence about a tragic death ever: The deputy mayor of the Indian capital Delhi has died a day after being attacked by a horde of wild monkeys.

–Paris Hilton wants to be cryogenically frozen. Unfortunately for us, she doesn’t want it to happen until she dies. Won’t it be wild if there is a nuclear fallout in 2134 and it unfreezes the bodies of Ted Williams and Paris Hilton but kills everybody else? That would make for a great reality show.

-Oceania, uh, I mean Philadelphia will be putting up video cameras all over the city to catch criminals. In the city of “Private Eyes” singers Hall and Oates no less. Hmmm, Donspiracist, I think I’m onto something.

-Steve O. is going to be on the radio today between 1-2 p.m., debating Armenian genocide. He’ll be on 1540 a.m., or you can listen here. Steve is apparently AGAINST genocide.

-First of all, I tried to meet some ladies by posting an ad on craigslist. There are going to be haters out there who say that I “fudged the facts” a tad, but I think it’s a fairly honest look at myself.

-Secondly, Alycia Lane is single again. Her boyfriend, some New York broadcaster punk sissy, broke up with her because his station told him to, b/c of the whole Rich Eisen bikini flap. Wow, Alycia. You’re single. I’m single. It’s like the stars are lining up for us here. What the heck, let’s go for it! I’m an astronaut!

-Eve, I haven’t forgotten about you, girl. Listen, that thing with Alycia, that’s just a friend thing. She’s coming off a breakup, I’m a shoulder to cry on. That’s all that is. Don’t worry your pretty little eyes. You and me are forever girl. Shake that tambourine!

–A guy goes cross country in a car in 31 hours. A cross country trip with no Detroit hookers, no JFK conspiracy theorists, and no 72 once steaks? Not interested.

-Holy cow, this dude puts the “car” in cardboard.

–Greatest reward for a stolen item ever. “The person who returns [it] is obviously the person who stole it, so they don’t deserve any reward!” Name that movie.

-Any “Fish That Saved Pittsburgh” fans out there? If so, you need to see this. Insane.

Here’s a few from last week. Answers after the jump. Quizzo tonight at Good Dog at 8 p.m. and Bards at 10 p.m. If you haven’t already played the online quizzo, click here.

1. Due to a contract dispute with the leads, Coy and Vance became stars of this show, causing it to jump the shark.
2. Who is the only current major leaguer to have played in both a World Series game and an NCAA Final Four, as he used to back up Steve Kerr at Arizona?
3. What state had a dead animal on it’s license plate from 1987 to 1999?
4. Buddha was born in an area that then belonged to India, but in what is now what country?
5. What was the subject of the documentary Triumph of the Will?
6. In what sport would you find positions such as the long-off, the fine leg, and the third man?
7. In what 1995 Hughes Brothers movie would you have found Chris Tucker?
8. This co-founder of Untied Artists was known as America’s Sweetheart, though she was born in Toronto in 1892?

Continue reading “Last week’s questions” →

Joey Bishop of the Rat Pack passed away last night. Though Bishop was born in the Bronx, he grew up in South Philadelphia and got his start on the local burlesque scene. He was the last living member of the Rat Pack. This from philly.com:
When he was 3 months old the family moved to South Philadelphia, where he attended public schools. He recalled being an indifferent student, once remarking, “In kindergarten, I flunked sand pile.”

-NBC’s 10! show has long been on the cutting edge, and they kept that edge sharp during a recent show when cute co-host Lori Wilson said that Whitney Houston’s “Saving All My Love For You” sounded like, “I’m Shaving Off My Muff For You”. Her co-host Bill Henley has no room to talk, because on the episode of the 10! show I hosted last year, he made perhaps the funniest double entendre in the history of television.

-Last night, when I asked, “Which one is further east, Charlottetown or Niagara Falls?” Ern and a few of his pals hollered out, “Niagara Falls! Slowly I turned, and step by step, inch by inch…” A few people asked me what in the hell he was talking about. It’s this, a famous old vaudeville act.

-James Watson raised quite a few eyebrows recently when he said that black people have lower IQs than white people. But when people blasted him for this theory, he was like, “Oh really, genius, well how many deoxyribonucleic acid double helix’s have you figured out in your life? Because I invented that s***, son.”

-A new scoring wrinkle that will help teams in bad shape after round three was given a trial run last night and worked fairly well. We’ll see it again tonight.

-Could the empire be expanding to North Broad? Stay tuned.

-Questions were pretty tough last night. Expect more of the same tonight.

-People always ask me where they have the best chance to win. It varies over the course of the year, but right now I would definitely say the Good Dog. No dominant team and a new winner nearly every week.

-Oooooh, I’ve got some sweet new last place prizes too.

QUIZZO TONIGHT: Locust Rendezvous 6:15 p.m.
Black Sheep 8 p.m.

-Cheesy chain Buca Di Beppo closing down. Nice work, Philly! But let’s don’t stop there. Now let’s run the Olive Garden out of town. (But not Applebee’s of course. Those poppers are amazing. And porterhouse steak topped with melted cheese? Brilliant.)

-More Trivia Art, this time in the Metro.

-Mitch Williams to AJ Daulerio of the Phillymag blog: Keep Curt Schilling away from this team.

-Yesterday I posted that things were going from bad to worse in Atlanta: First Joey Harrington, then TI, then the water shortage. Well, finally some good news: they’re getting a WNBA team!!!

-The rankings are in, and the toolbags who fill out polls for Travel and Leisure have spoken. Philly sucks at pretty much everything, which is great. That means the squares who fill out these polls and their friends will stay away. Perfect. Oh, and we were the ugliest out of 25 cities. Um, hello. That’s exactly why I moved here. In the land of trolls, I look like a prince.