Around the horn, brought to you by Orko

-The best opening sentence about a tragic death ever: The deputy mayor of the Indian capital Delhi has died a day after being attacked by a horde of wild monkeys.

Paris Hilton wants to be cryogenically frozen. Unfortunately for us, she doesn’t want it to happen until she dies. Won’t it be wild if there is a nuclear fallout in 2134 and it unfreezes the bodies of Ted Williams and Paris Hilton but kills everybody else? That would make for a great reality show.

-Oceania, uh, I mean Philadelphia will be putting up video cameras all over the city to catch criminals. In the city of “Private Eyes” singers Hall and Oates no less. Hmmm, Donspiracist, I think I’m onto something.

-Steve O. is going to be on the radio today between 1-2 p.m., debating Armenian genocide. He’ll be on 1540 a.m., or you can listen here. Steve is apparently AGAINST genocide.