The Grand Inquizzator quickly responded to Art’s last minute plea with the following:

I’m not in charge of the website. I couldn’t post a photo if my life depended
on it (unless Trivia Art showed me how). I’ve known JGT for about a year tops.
But when I was born, my mother took me in her arms whilst watching Jeopardy and explained to me my destiny. Aged only 12 days, I somehow grasped every word. I would do quizzo. Then we watched Alien. The connection may have been tenuous, but nonetheless I understood that this man Art, who I’d never met (and still haven’t) was the Alien, come to supplant the innards of red-blooded Americans with the demon seed of mediocre trivia.. Now, mere minutes from fulfilling my destiny, that same Alien would have you believe that he is the torch-bearer of quality Philly Quizzo. It just ain’t so, folks. Vote for the Great Enunciator, the Inquizzator. Like I said, I really need this gig. Plus, some small payoffs might be arranged as well. PS – I’ll be famous soon, and we’ll be friends forever, I promise!

If you like Johnnygoodtimes.com, Vote Trivia Art!

• I am the man behind the web site, behind the Photoshopping, adding celebrities and otherwise altering dozens of Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo Spectacular Winners.
• I was there at the beginning of the Goodtimes movement back when our man Johnny was just a sports quiz guy.
• I am the candidate to be at the helm as Johnny heads south to club Mexican seals, or whatever it is that he does down there.
• I have the trivia background, even a catchy name .
• I promise to hold sacred the Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo Spectacular and never again, do a DotCom themed True/False round.
• And although I admit, I’m no Johnny Goodtimes, I ask yourself, are you better off now than a year ago when there was no Johnnygoodtimes.com?

Vote Trivia Art the Next Johnny Goodtimes.

Johnnygoodtimes.com has just learned that Trivia Art and the Grand Inquizzanator will be pleading their cases to the crowd at Doc Watson’s tonight. The only two contestants who, at this point in the game, really have a shot at the title, will both try to pick up undecided voters at 11th and Locust establishment. Quizzo begins at 8:15 p.m.

With less than eight hours to go, the Inquizzanator holds a somewhat sizable lead, but johnnygoodtimes.com has gained access to a top secret e-mail that he recently sent to the King of Goodtimes, stating, as follows:

“dude – when is the voting over? this s*** is bugging me out.”

When told of the comments, former White House aide Henry Kissinger replied, “Hmmm, that’s funny. I remember Nixon saying the same thing on election day ’72.” Comparisons to Nixon are the last thing the Inquizzanator needs at this juncture. It will be interesting to see what kind of response, if any, will come from Inquizzanator camp.

You’ve seen the candidates. Now it’s time to vote for who’s going to take over for Johnny. You’ll get one vote. I’ve reprinted the contestants answers to “Why do you deserve to be the next Johnny Goodtimes?” below. Here’s Johnny take on the candidates.

Trivia Art was steady, and I know from working with him in the past that he is dependable. He was also able to take the heat well when his Dotcom Boom or Bust Round became the poster child for disastrous wild card rounds, and being able to take s*** from you wolves without getting mideval is a real gift. Doug the Professor had a nice delivery, a good sense of humor, and came up with a really good true/false round, which can be tough to do. Mentioning in public that his favorite baseball team was the Yankees, however, and dedicating a round to them was not the shrewdest political move in this city. The girls came up with what I thought was the most creative wild card round, “The science of hip-hop.” Their main problem was volume, though they got a lot better at it as time went on. The Inquizzanator had a good voice and enunciated well, at least until those Brits bought him a Long Island Ice Tea at the Black Sheep. Fortunately, he made it through the round before the buzz had kicked in entirely. The crowds really liked him, but they thought his wild card rounds were a little too specialized. Bethesda and the lovely Elizabeth were undoubtedly the strangest entrants in this contest, but I thought they both had commanding voices and a good deal of confidence. Reviews on their fruit wild card round were decidedly mixed, but I thought it was pretty creative.

After a self imposed exile, the Prez (Now appearing as Ben), has returned to the JGT message board, and returned to firing missives at the king of Goodtimes. So if you enjoy seeing Johnny verbally abused, check out Ben’s reply to the crackhead post.

After hours of heated debate, the official Johnny Goodtimes Parliament has reached a shocking verdict: That Johnny’s kicking the girls out of the contest was a direct violation of the “No Cute Chick Left Behind” policy that Goodtimes himself had helped to implement at the end of last year! Therefore, the ladies known as Jess Maybe and Katie Sometimes are back in the “Be the Next Johnny Goodtimes” contest, and will be seen next week at the Black Sheep and Locust Rendezvous!

Happy birthday to Katy Monsoon and Jeff Roswell, who played at the Black Sheep last night. If you have a birthday coming up, please let me know, and I’ll put you on the website.

The Grand Inquizzator was able to hold off the two lovely young women known as Katie Sometimes and Jess Maybe in a vote last night, 35-24. The Inquizzator had a huge lead after O’Neals, but the girls made quite a comeback at the Bards. It just wasn’t quite enough. The Inquizzator will move on. But there are no losers in Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo (except for maybe the Western Omelette**), so as a consolation prize, Johnny is going to allow the two lovely young ladies to buy him a drink at a future date. “If these young ladies need a shoulder to cry on, I’ll be there,” said Goodtimes, proving that he does indeed have a heart of gold. We are now down to four teams, and they will be competing over the next week. Then you, the fans, will decide who you want to be the next Johnny Goodtimes by voting on the website next week.

**I’m kidding, White Wilt. Relax.

Johnny just received this letter from the ladies who who lost last night!

“Did you count the hanging chads? How about the absentee ballots? I smell
electoral fraud.

Sincerely,
Kaitie Sometimes & Jessica Maybe”

Stay tuned!