I’m going to be giving away tix tonight to see the exceptionally funny Eugene Mirman at the Trocadero on Saturday night. You can read about the show on this week’s A-List in Philadelphia Weekly. I treat you people better than Johnny does. You know it’s true.
Related: Eugene Mirman’s website.

Holy Cow! My tour of Europe continued today, as I toured the ancient pyramids of Egypt. Breathtaking! So much culture, such a rich history, such delicious appletinis! I tell ya, these bartenders here know how to make them. They say that they are inspired by Tutankhamen’s own recipe! How cool is that? I hope things are going ok with Bobby. He says that “sexy dame” participation is at an all time high this week. I hope that continues when I get back. But let’s face it, gals aren’t as crazy about a guy when he doesn’t have a permanent. Anybody got any suggestions for where I should visit manana? If so, type ’em below.

Hey, Bobby B. here. As you might suspect, the only creatures dat love me as much as women are kittens (you sick f**** were expecting a pussy pun here, weren’t ya?). Anyways, I gets this email from the SPCA sayin’t that they need your help. So give it to ’em, or face the consequences! Here’s the deal. They got little kittens comin’ in, and dey is catchin’ diseases from cats with sniffles and colds. The kittens don’t got a strong enough immune system to fight off the colds, and they die. What the SPCA wants is some people who can just take in a kitten for a week or two, until it’s old enough and strong enough to fight off the cold. If you want more info on how you’se can help, or if you wanna adopt a pet, email Meghan at meghanfitz356@hotmail.com

Yeah, so I caught a little buzz last night. Big friggin’ deal. The narkotyzing Dysfunktion thought it would be funny if they ordered me my favorite drink. A Boilermaker (Depth charge variety). MMM-MMM, was it delicious. And by delicious, I mean it was the worst drink I have ever had in my life. Thanks a lot, you knuckleheads. As you might imagine, the ladies were all over me last night.

No surprises there. I just can’t tell if it’s because of the permanent, or if it’s my brusque charm. Probably both. To be honest, I did receive some boos last night, but I need even more. I don’t think you people hate me enough. I’m gonna have to try harder.

Just one word to describe the view from the top of Everest: Awesome! This has always been a goal of mine, and this morning I said, “What the hell? Why not do it today?” Sweet! I hope everything went ok last night with Bobby. He told me that the women who played last night were all over him. That’s great. Hey listen, I’m heading off to Africa this afternoon, so I’ll send you a picture from there tommorrow. Bobby has to pick up my Spanish assignment, and by the time he’s done hitting on my hot Spanish teacher and Aditi Roy, it’ll probably be late afternoon. He’ll talk a little about last night then, and he’s promised me that he’s going to make his case for his favorite player, Barry Bonds, on the website tommorrow. Hope everything is going well in the good ol’ USA!

Back in October, we got a lot of really good responses as to whether or not W was the worst president ever. Well, the topic came up again recently when Rolling Stone magazine did an article about it. Pretty interesting article.

With Bobby Badtimes hosting quizzo this week, Johnny G. can enjoyed a well deserved vacation. Here he is enjoying the sights at the Eiffel Tower. “Bonjour! Boy, it sure is nice to have Bobby take over for a little while,” said Goodtimes, “So that I can enjoy wine, women, and song in the city of eternal light, or love, or whatever it is.”

What team did Babe Ruth play for at the end of his career?

Went to Phillies game last night, and sat next to a couple who were not only Giants fans, but who also had a sign which read, “We believe in you, Barry.” The fans in my section were not pleased with these people. The man beside me, who was a bit older and balding, sat quietly as the fans chanted “Ro-gaine! Ro-gaine!” and also had to endure chants of “She’s on steroids” aimed at his wife. The man made the mistake of standing up with his cardboard sign and then all hell broke loose. Somebody yelled something, then the man’s wife yelled back, “Suck a d***!” Well, then this lady in front of her who had come with her kids started going nuts. Apparently it was ok for Phillies fans to scream obscenities, but not Giants fans. So now she and the GIants lady were screaming and the crowd was going absolutely wild. Security started flying in from all sides. The crowd began chanting, “Kick them out! Kick them out!” I thought they were kicking them out, so I told one of the security guards, “They’ve been taking a lot of s***.”He said that they knew and that they were just going to move them to another section. The crowd, unaware of this, started singing the “shananana hey hey hey goodbye” song. Somebody dumped a beer on the dude, just because he had a freaking Barry Bonds sign. Philly sports fans, once again, jumped on the opportunity to make asses of themselves. It’s one thing to chant. It’s another thing to dump beer on somebody. Pathetic. Other than that, though, it was a great game. I’ve never seen a ball hit as high as the one Bonds hit. It was majestic, and for all the booing as we did all game, we certainly stood in awe of Barry’s shot. The best sign I saw at the park? One which read “To boo list” then followed with a list of each of the following things checked off: “Santa, Kobe, Barry Bonds, Clubber Lang.”

There are rumblings coming from Bobby Badtimes camp. Major rumblings. The type of rumbling that makes you wonder if your cities infrastructure can handle what is coming next. Though nothing has been confirmed, rumor has it that you are going to be seeing more of Bobby Badtimes next week. A lot more! A whole lot more! Details coming on Monday!