Month: February 2010

JGT Quizzo Power Rankings

computerThe JGT QPR computer was left out in the snow last week, and thus is only spitting out the top 5. We’ll be back up to a top 10 next week. 

  1. L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics. 6 wins and counting at the Ugly American. Bounty is up to $20 this week. Last week: #2
  2. Steak Em Up. Just when you think they can’t sink any lower dignity wise, they combine forces with the Axis of Evil Knieval on Thursday. What’s next, a duo with the Jams? Perhaps see if Ken Jennings is free? Maybe bring in Stephen Hawking for any potential science questions? Last week: #1
  3. Lambda. Another win at O’Neals. This team seems to really be getting in shape for Quizzo Bowl, despite a 2nd place finish at the Bards on Thursday. Last week. #5
  4. The Jams. A bye week due to the snow. Last week: #4
  5. Ivan the Trivial. Once front runners at O’Neals, they are now playing catch up to Lambda. 

Dimitri the Lover Returns With Some Timely Advice

dimitri-1Some of you might be wondering…what is the best day of the entire year to seduce sluts?According to our good friend Dimitri the Lover, today is the day: Bearing these keen observations in mind and integrating them with over 15 years of epidemiological slut seduction study data, Dimitri The Lover has found that THE DAY AFTER VALENTINE’S DAY is by far the best single day out of each year to seduce sluts …FORGET trying to pick up sluts  ON VALENTINE’S DAY, in that their expectations are WAY TOO UNREALISTICALLY HIGH.  However, every year on February 15th, Dimitri The Lover collects dozens of telephone numbers and books his lovemaking schedule well into the spring. And luckily this year the 15th falls on a MONDAY, so any slut that did not have herROMANTIC expectations fulfilled on the weekend will have the negative psychological effects greatly exacerbated by the impact of waking up to the dreaded MONDAY start to her work or school week, right in the middle of high season for SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER!

Often the most spiritually wounded of these ROMANTIC WALKING DEAD will mope around in a robotic state for weeks, exclaiming to their closest friends and co-workers that they have “given up on men”. This extended pathological rumination period makes them especially vulnerable to being systematically picked apart by whatDimitri The Lover sinisterly (yet lovingly) refers to as a“ROMANCE VULTURE”…Once the ROMANCE VULTURE has encircled the pre-qualified crowd, his talons armed with the most powerful set of seduction tools known to mankind, he can easily identify his prey by the stench of her ROTTING DEAD HEART. 

Of course, we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention that a documentary about Dimitri is coming out soon. A new trailer for the movie is out, and it is astounding (and NSFW). Porno snowmen, and romance vultures seducing sluts. What in the hell is happening to this once proud website?

Frosty the Pornowman

snowmanThe picture above has no pornographic connotations. It’s just a big damn snowman down the street from my house. But this snow figure, well, I’m not even sure it’s safe for work. Of course, that creation is nowhere near as disturbing as this snow porn scene. And this one isn’t much better. Now, before you get all “The whole world is going straight to hell”, please be advised that porno snowmen are nothing new. The following from something called PJonline: “the first recorded lewd snowmen (and snow-women) appeared in 1511, when the residents of Brussels, in a fit of anti-establishment anger, filled the city streets with hundreds of pornographic and political snow sculptures.”

Hundreds? Did they say hundreds? My god, that makes a snow penis at 10th and Fitzwater look downright quaint.

The Snow Quiz

IMG_1481I’m feeling lazy, but I’ll guess I’ll make a new quiz today, dammit. (yes, we are on for tonight.) Therefore, here is Tuesday’s wild card round, Snow. Answers are after the jump. (For more trivia questions, click here.)

  1. What video game developer has given us the games Warcraft, Starcraft, and Diablo?
  2. What group released an album in 1997 called Snowed In?
  3. What state does Olympia Snowe represent?
  4. Philadelphia’s record for snowfall in one storm is 30.7 inches, set in January of what year of the 1990s?
  5. This countries tallest mountains are the snowy mountains, with the highest point, Mt. Koscusko, standing at 7310 feet.
  6. What fast food chain has a creation called the blizzard?
  7. Who was the star of the film Snow Dogs?
  8. What car company produces a vehicle called the Avalanche?
  9.  What buxom starlet famously said, “I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.”
  10.  What was one hit wonder Snow’s big hit?

Continue reading “The Snow Quiz” →

Make Some Delicious Snow Cream

Just made a bowl of snow cream, and it was so good I figured I’d share it.

  • 1 Cup of Milk
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla
  • Mixing bowl of snow.

Mix milk, sugar, and vanilla together. Pour on top of snow. Stir well and serve. Tastes just like vanilla ice cream. If you want to get fancy, you can add M&Ms or chocolate chips. Some people throw in a beaten egg, but the Ms. said that we don’t eat raw eggs, so that didn’t happen here. Enjoy!

-Chef Johnny

You can’t spell Quizzo without S-N-O-W

Ok, so maybe you can. Maybe you can spell it without the S or the W or the N. But both words share an “O”. There is simply no disputing that fact. Therefore, you should play quizzo tonight in the snow. I think we could see a few romantic questions this week, what with the big holiday coming up this weekend. Action starts at O’Neals at 8 p.m., then moves to Bards at 10:15 p.m. We had good turnouts at both places last week. Hopefully we can keep it up this week.