Dimitri the Lover Returns With Some Timely Advice

dimitri-1Some of you might be wondering…what is the best day of the entire year to seduce sluts?According to our good friend Dimitri the Lover, today is the day: Bearing these keen observations in mind and integrating them with over 15 years of epidemiological slut seduction study data, Dimitri The Lover has found that THE DAY AFTER VALENTINE’S DAY is by far the best single day out of each year to seduce sluts …FORGET trying to pick up sluts  ON VALENTINE’S DAY, in that their expectations are WAY TOO UNREALISTICALLY HIGH.  However, every year on February 15th, Dimitri The Lover collects dozens of telephone numbers and books his lovemaking schedule well into the spring. And luckily this year the 15th falls on a MONDAY, so any slut that did not have herROMANTIC expectations fulfilled on the weekend will have the negative psychological effects greatly exacerbated by the impact of waking up to the dreaded MONDAY start to her work or school week, right in the middle of high season for SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER!

Often the most spiritually wounded of these ROMANTIC WALKING DEAD will mope around in a robotic state for weeks, exclaiming to their closest friends and co-workers that they have “given up on men”. This extended pathological rumination period makes them especially vulnerable to being systematically picked apart by whatDimitri The Lover sinisterly (yet lovingly) refers to as a“ROMANCE VULTURE”…Once the ROMANCE VULTURE has encircled the pre-qualified crowd, his talons armed with the most powerful set of seduction tools known to mankind, he can easily identify his prey by the stench of her ROTTING DEAD HEART

Of course, we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention that a documentary about Dimitri is coming out soon. A new trailer for the movie is out, and it is astounding (and NSFW). Porno snowmen, and romance vultures seducing sluts. What in the hell is happening to this once proud website?

4 thoughts on “Dimitri the Lover Returns With Some Timely Advice

  1. You laugh mock and make sport of Dmitri but what do you know, clueless American retarded social misfit. I follow Dmitri and pick up his leftovers and spend morning noon and night boffing sluts with big breasts. Dmitri has changed my life. No more blue balls.

  2. I'm so glad that another Dmitri post has been added to the website, because that means the return of my favorite commenter: Sergei! No more blue balls!

  3. Believe me. Is cold in Russia and we know about blue balls. But since I meet Dmitri and adopt his system I meet more sluts than I have time to boff all with large breasts. No more blue balls for me.

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