In what 1970s group would you have found Osi, Cujo, and Fahizah?

Will the breakdancers be good? Will your team be overnight sensations on the quizzo circuit? Will Johnny rap? Why won’t this nasty rash go away? There’s only one way to find the answer to these questions (and 48 more), and that is to attend an event unlike any other. The Johnny Goodtimes Beat the Champs Cowgirl Breakdance Steel Drum Spectacular at the World Cafe Live (3025 Walnut). Doors Open at 6 p.m.

Here’s the teams that have earned their two bonus points (Remember you get 8 bonus points just by buying tix early). If you earned any extra points and are not on this list, please contact me at johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com. Also, for the record, this is not Quizzo Bowl II. Quizzo Bowl II will be held in January. Quizzo Bowl is a very classy event, meant only for members of high society. Beat the Champs will not be classy at all. In fact, it will be remarkable primarily for it’s lack of class. The bouergoise are welcome to attend, and to teach me how to spell bouergeouise.
Trust Us, We Know
1022
Sofa Kingdom
Team w/ Eric and Andi
Missing Heads
Lance Armstrong and the Dirty Urine Samples
River of Rocks
Cracked Eggheads
Trivia Art’s Team

If you wanna earn bonus points via scavenger hunt, I’m gonna be somewhat forgiving. Just shoot me a photo of you with your item or a link to your craigslist posting to johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com by midnight tonight. Please tell me your team name when you send me the email. After a slow start, ticket sales have really picked up lately, so this should be a really wild event! I can’t wait!

Rick Ames, Esq., is a former counsel to Dead Kennedys, Pearl Harbor & the Explosions and Romeo Void, intimate friend of Symbionese Liberation Army, frequent visitor to Graceland. He is looking for a 40-50 year old woman who enjoys sunsets, booing Mike Lieberthal, and Quaaludes.

Strengths: Ability to read other people’s thoughts, transcendental medidation, the history of dentistry

Weaknesses: You kind of caught me off guard there. I’m sure if you gave me a minute I could come up with one or two, but right off the top of my head, no, I have no weaknesses.

Continue reading “Before you Beat the Champs, Meet the Champs” →

On philly.com’s list of top local celebrities, JGT was nowhere to be found, despite having won an award for that very thing only a year ago! Outrage! Commence with the burning and looting! Also, you can read about Beat the Champs on the Phillyist, a recent (and really good, I think) blog on the local scene. In my ongoing war with Larry Platt, score one for the Philly Mag editor. There were two letters to the editor in this month’s Philadelphia magazine about the absense of quizzo. He edited my name out of both letters! I’m not kidding. Congrats to Rose Muravchick and Kristie Wisniewski, whose letters were published! We’ll determine a winner of the $50 cash prize for best letter next week. Alright, I’m done ragging Philly Mag for a while. Promise. Also, congrats to Jamie, who won the $15 gift certificate to Good Dog for Porn Golf title. His “Happy to Drillmore” knocked off 2nd place “Caddy Shag” by 12% in the poll. Finally, a note to the teams who won this week: I will have your photos and stories up at the start of next week, when things are a little less crazy. Sorry about the delay, and thanks for your patience.

For info on Beat the Champs, click here.

Hey gang, great news. They busted some people in Philly who were dealing, get this, DEADLY MARIJUANA! That’s right, who knows how much tax money was spent on shutting down the perpetrators of this drug that kills, uh, well it doesn’t kill anyone. But it’s deadly because it causes the people who smoke it to, uh, watch Star Wars and eat Ben and Jerry’s.

Continue reading “Your tax dollars at work” →

Iron Maiden’s pissed off at Ozzy Osbourne, because fans and staff at OzzFest threw things at them, then Ozzy’s wife chewed them out on stage. Wha????????? Uh, yeah. You know a heavy metal band is getting old when they start crying about being hit by eggs. Eggs? I mean, didn’t Iggy Pop used to roll thru broken glass? A real heavy metal band would have encouraged more egg throwing, then smashed all of the electronic equipment as well as their instruments, and then set the entire stage on fire while invoking the name of Satan. They would not have responded with a little note on their webpage (click on the press release to the right). A webpage? A real heavy metal band doesn’t communicate to it’s fans through a freaking webpage! A real heavy metal band communicates to it’s fans only through deviant sexual acts and kick-ass power chords.