Penguins are funny!

Alrigth, gang, get your ideas for a funny Broadway musical title in today, as I will be accepting entries until midnight tonight. I will determine my favorites over the weekend, and we will vote on which one we think should win next week. The winner receives two great seats to see the upcoming Philadelphia Theatre Company’s performance of “Adrift in Macao.”

It seems like everybody is talking about the avian flu that has us all shaking in our boots. But it’s so hard to find reliable information about this pandemic that has killed almost 65 old people in Asia. Enter Dr. Bartleby McDowell, M.D. Dr. McDowell, M.D. has been practicing in the medical profession for over 23 years, and has earned the respect of the entire Philadelphia physician community with his work on various flus and bugs. We are very excited to welcome him as the newest member of our team! Dr. McDowell, M.D. answers tough questions from you our readers after the jump!

Continue reading “Dr. Bartleby McDowell, M.D. Answers Questions about Avian Flu!” →

Well, my good friends at Philadelphia magazine have a poll of sorts going on. They want to know who you think the best five Philadelphians ever were. Now some are easy, such as Ben Franklin and Richard Gere. But that leaves you with three slots to fill. Now I’ll leave two to you, and ask that on the third you write “Johnny Goodtimes”. Let’s face it, every man, woman, and child in America could enter my name and they wouldn’t give me credit for it, but it might still be fun, just to piss them off.

Got this email earlier, and thought you might enjoy it. Thanks to James for sending this in. If you see anything interesting, weird, funny, etc., that you think our readers would be interested in, please send it to johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com. As far as the Broadway play contest, it’s on fire right now, with over 50 submissions. Be sure to get yours in before Friday!

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:

Continue reading “Thought You Might Enjoy These” →

JGT: Thank you for joining us in the Johnny Goodtimes Round table discussion. Today we’re talking baseball. The playoffs are upon us, and we’ve got some wonderful guests to discuss them with us. We’ll get to Nelly, K7, and Vanilla in just a minute, but let’s start with Grand Puba, formerly of Brand Nubian. Jose Contreras will be throwing for the White Sox in Game One. What kind of pitches do you see him throwing early, Mr. Puba?

Puba:First batter up well here’s the pitch – it’s a curve
Second batter up because the first got served
The one who arouse, as I browse for a blouse
Kick styles by the piles, as I leave a trail for miles
Skins when I please, hit from here to Tel Aviv
I’m gettin G’s, no more time for the line of free cheese
Here’s the four one one hon, the one who gets the job done
I know you know the flavor of the Puba

JGT: Interesting theory. By the “four one one” I assume he is talking about Game 2 starter Tim Wakefield. Wakefield’s ERA is actually 4.15. David Ortiz has certainly hit from here to Tel Aviv this year, hasn’t he? 47 dingers and 132 RBI’s. Next we speak with Nelly. Nelly, being from St. Louis, is a big Cards fan. Nelly, the Cardinals will be facing young right hander Jake Peavey. Do you think that they should be aggressive against the 24 year old, or should they be patient at the plate and try to draw some early walks?

Continue reading “Your Favorite Rappers Discuss the Upcoming Playoffs!” →

The first ever Hooters was established on October 4th, 1983, in what US city? (What? You think I used the question of the week as an excuse to put a pic of Hooters girls on the website? You should be ashamed of yourself!) Hey, be sure to post your worst Broadway musical title for a shot at some great theatre tix.

Remember Heartbreaker Harley? Well, he was adopted over the weekend! In other PSPCA news, there is going to be a “Yappy Hour” on Wednesday at 32 Degrees. You can bring your dog to this event, and there are rumors that there might even be a local “dairy mogul” at said event.

Just when you think you can’t read anything weirder, when you think this city has blown your mind to the point where even the strange seems normal, you come across this in Dan Gross’s column. The first part is a pretty normal thing to read in Dan-o’s column. The second part changes everything:

Phillies slugger Jimmy Rollins celebrated his hitting streak the other night at 32? (16 S. 2nd) with teammates Kenny Lofton, Ryan Howard and Shane Victorino. 32’s Ira Zipper gave Rollins a bottle of Moet champagne as a gift.

The next night,Beth Twitty, mother of Natalee Holloway, the Alabama teen missing in Aruba, was in the club with local dairy mogul Joe Mammana.

Whaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!?????? Let me get this straight. Natalee Holloway’s mom is not only in Philly, but she’s hanging out with a “local dairy mogul” at 32 Degrees? And furthermore, there’s such a thing as a “dairy mogul”? This is one of the most insane things I’ve ever read.

Philadelphia’s smoothest quizmaster put another feather in his cap recently when he was named one of Philadelphia’s 40 Under 40 by socialphilly.com. But it was one of the other guys on the list who has captured our imagination. Anthony DiMeo, or “DIII”, as he calls himself, made a name for himself when he sued former Philly Weekly writer Jessica Pressler earlier this year. I believe the charge was “teasing”. Pressler made fun of a Christmas card he had sent out, so he sued her for $50,000. “DIII”‘s website is absolutely priceless, as “DIII” tries to encourage people to let him manage their wealth, while at the same time discussing his acting roles and his blueberry picking. Yes, “DIII” is a blueberry heir, which leads to the most priceless sentence on the website: “The primary duty of managing and supervising the crop harvest was not an easy task, considering the number of migrant workers involved in the picking process.” “DIII” is my new favorite Philadelphia celebrity, which is saying a lot when you realize how much I like myself.