Went to Phillies game last night, and sat next to a couple who were not only Giants fans, but who also had a sign which read, “We believe in you, Barry.” The fans in my section were not pleased with these people. The man beside me, who was a bit older and balding, sat quietly as the fans chanted “Ro-gaine! Ro-gaine!” and also had to endure chants of “She’s on steroids” aimed at his wife. The man made the mistake of standing up with his cardboard sign and then all hell broke loose. Somebody yelled something, then the man’s wife yelled back, “Suck a d***!” Well, then this lady in front of her who had come with her kids started going nuts. Apparently it was ok for Phillies fans to scream obscenities, but not Giants fans. So now she and the GIants lady were screaming and the crowd was going absolutely wild. Security started flying in from all sides. The crowd began chanting, “Kick them out! Kick them out!” I thought they were kicking them out, so I told one of the security guards, “They’ve been taking a lot of s***.”He said that they knew and that they were just going to move them to another section. The crowd, unaware of this, started singing the “shananana hey hey hey goodbye” song. Somebody dumped a beer on the dude, just because he had a freaking Barry Bonds sign. Philly sports fans, once again, jumped on the opportunity to make asses of themselves. It’s one thing to chant. It’s another thing to dump beer on somebody. Pathetic. Other than that, though, it was a great game. I’ve never seen a ball hit as high as the one Bonds hit. It was majestic, and for all the booing as we did all game, we certainly stood in awe of Barry’s shot. The best sign I saw at the park? One which read “To boo list” then followed with a list of each of the following things checked off: “Santa, Kobe, Barry Bonds, Clubber Lang.”
Bobby Badtimes to host quizzo this week
I will be hosting quizzo this week, and I’m going in with only one goal. I want, at the end of each of the six contests I host this week, to see at least one person in tears. Don’t come to quizzo if you are expecting “good times”, b/c there will none. I will be drinking too much, saying inappropriate things at precisely the wrong time, and throwing long, awkward, uncomfortable stares at you women. I will be cussing like a sailor. I implore you to not bring children to the bar. If all goes according to plan, I will punch at least two of you in the face by the end of the week.
Related: Don’t Join Bobby on Myspace. He doesn’t want you to.
Holy Freaking S***! Big Bobby Badtimes News!
There are rumblings coming from Bobby Badtimes camp. Major rumblings. The type of rumbling that makes you wonder if your cities infrastructure can handle what is coming next. Though nothing has been confirmed, rumor has it that you are going to be seeing more of Bobby Badtimes next week. A lot more! A whole lot more! Details coming on Monday!
The GaYOMETER
I’m going to be honest. I’m a little disappointed with my performance on the gayometer. I’m only 40% gay. I thought I was a little gayer than that. Anyways, take it yourself, and feel free to post the results below.
Giovani’s Pizza
Me and D-Mac wen to Giovani’s Pizza (15th and Chestnut) a couple of weeks ago, but I am just now filing a report. Anyways, Giovani’s is one of those places where you walk in, place a quick order, and get the hell out of the way, but the staff isn’t unpleasant about it. I got a couple of slices. The one that really stuck out was the Buffalo chicken slice. Now, if you get that one, you have to go Rochester style and get the Blue cheese. That…was a damn fine piece of pizza. Now, a lot of people are giving me a hard time b/c they say to truly judge a pizza I should only order cheese slices. That is absurd. While I do not penalize pizza places that do not have a lot of choices to offer (see Lorenzo’s, South Street), I do think pizza places should get points for being creative. (See Mama Palma’s). Anyways, here was D-Mac’s take:
Yeah, it took me forever to remember to send this to you. Well, between my next-to-last place finishes in Quizzo and my nightly crying myself to sleep, I’m a busy man. But I thought Giovani Pizza was a pretty good place. The service is usually pretty fast and the pizza is usually pretty consistent. I think it’s a little underrated. The
pizza’s pretty cheesy, and not in the high school insult way, and it’s a good ratio of cheese-to-sauce, crucial for any good slice of pizza. Plus, I truly give major props to any place where two slices and a Coke is exactly $5 — none of that messy “change” business. Seacrest, out!
It gets 3 pepperonis. Try the buffalo chicken slice. Word.
Odds and Ends
I’ve had a ton of people ask me about the address to Tony’s Pizza. It is 6300 Frankford Avenue. Yes, a bit of a trek, but well worth it. Also, the Man in Black is back. The Johnny Cash cover band will be playing as part of a cinco de mayo spectacular at Barrister’s on friday night. In Anthony Dimeo news, this comes to us courtesy of my good friend D-Mac over at PhiladelphiaWillDo. Meanwhile, over at Philebrity, you can get a taste of the new Gnarls Barkley album. I like track number five. Alright, I gotta wipe away the cobwebs and get crackin’ on this site. I got some quizzo results and a couple of pizza reviews coming soon. Oh, and about the 24 inch pythons in the picture above, a member of the JAMS brought in the actual ECW championship belt which he had won at a trivia competition recently, so I had to see what I would look like if I were a heavyweight wrestling champ. A champ who wears a lavender shirt.
Yeah, About Those Flyers
Hey everybody, Johnny didn’t see the last post so now he’s texting me telling me to discuss the Flyers on the site. Like that’s just what I want to do after last night’s debacle. But hey, he’s the celebrity, and I’m just living in his shadow so his will be done.
Man, what a courageous effort last night, eh? All that rhetoric about getting off to a fast start really came to fruition. But what can you do, Buffalo was the faster, better team, and they won. The big questions start now.
Johnny Will Be Back Real Soon
Johnny had to leave you all (or as he says when he remembers he’s from Virginia, “y’all”) for some sort of lucrative corporate gig this morning. And now he’s off to take Spanish class. In the meantime he asked me to entertain you for a moment or two.
So what do we have in the news today? Did you see this one? Turns out a solid 1/3 of Americans 18-24 could not find Louisiana on a map of the United States. And if that doesn’t haunt you, how about that 60% of those quizzed couldn’t find Iraq on a map.
Don’t worry, Johnny will returning later this afternoon and he will be back to being a true man of leisure.
– Trivia Art
odds and ends
It’s fun to occasionally look at my web stats and find out what brings people to the website. For example, last month 85 people landed on johnnygoodtimes.com because they typed Bernadette Stanis into their search engine (the hottie from the show Goodtimes and former question of the week). 82 got here by typing in eazy e. I don’t always believe this thing, though. For example, 73 people landed on my site after typing in Jesus. I can’t imagine my site comes up real high on google when you type in “Jesus”. 21 people got here by typing in Intercourse. Probably not what they were looking for. Other search engine requests that brought people to johnnygoodtimes.com in the month of April? Birthday spanking, tony toni tone, mexican police, claire huxtable, great asses, lazy sluts, von hayes devil, lay pipe, hitler personality quiz, stalin is good, eaten by a jellyfish, and wear your ass as a hat. Sounds about right.
Question of the week
Cinco de Mayo commemorates the victory of Mexican forces led by General Ignacio Zaragoza in what battle?