That’s right people. Tonight we will celebrate the end of the world and have a devilsihly good time at quizzo with the 666 Spectacular. Today is a particularly good day to join the Church of Satan, “the first above ground organization in history openly dedicated to the acceptance of Man’s true nature-that of a carnal beast, living in a cosmos which is permeataed and motivated by the Dark Force which we call Satan.” Say what you will about those Satanists, they hire really good writers for the website.
The Weekly Double
Last night, my friend Suzanne and I decided to meet up with Palestra Jon and Trivia Art at Dark Horse for quizzo. But we were both hungry, so first we decided to grab something to eat. After a bit of debate, we finally settled on one thing we could both agree on: Jim’s. Jim’s is a place where I always tend to go when I have family in town, but never really seem to go otherwise. I don’t know why. Now I know what you’re thinking: Johnny, if you’re going to grab a cheesesteak, why not get one from a man who is a total bigot? Well, we weren’t in South Philly, and I also didn’t want a cheesesteak that tastes like cardboard, so we decided against Geno’s. The cheeseteak at Jim’s was delicious, as always. After dinner we headed off to quizzo, where we lost a tie-breaker for second place. Once quizzo was over, I found myself hungry again. “Anybody up for wings?” I asked. “Yes”, came the reply from Art and Suzanne. So we headed to Moriarity’s. That’s right. Jim’s Steaks and Moriarity’s wings on the same night. Praise me, people. Next week, a repeat, but with a Lorenzo’s slice!
Where do these people find me?
I received a great email yesterday. This is how it read: I work for an Entertainment and Sports Marketing firm and was wondering if you had Manute Bol’s contact information and/or his agent. It is regarding an appearance in a commercial and this info would be much appreciated. Thanks for your help.
Somebody actually asked me if I had Manute Bol’s contact information! That rules! I don’t know if it was spam or not, though. The guys e-mail address name was Burns 1. That’s a little fishy. Here’s another e-mail I received a couple of months ago: Hi Johnny, I’m working on a show for CMT called “Greatest Moments: Toby Keith” and am interested in using the photo you have on your site of Natalie Maines wearing her FUTK T-shirt (see attachment). Do you have a higher res version of this image?
I wrote her back that I did not have a high res image, but that if she wanted someone to do a lot of hating on Toby Keith for her show, I would love to. I haven’t heard back from her.
Great New Philly Food and Booze Website
When I wanna know where to take a girl on a date, or where to grab a cheap drink, or who’s got a good lunch deal, I call up Trivia Art, who has eaten at pretty much eaten at every restaurant in this town at least once and who seems to always know who has good beers for cheap. Well, fortunately for you, Trivia Art has decided to share his vast knowledge of the local gastronomic scene with everybody on his new website, foobooz.com. It’s not a place where he critiques local restaurants, but it’s a place where you can find out who has great deals on food and booze throughout the city.
A History of Lameness
Have you ever decided to rent a movie because it got great reviews, then watch it and be convinced that all movie reviewers are glue addicts? This was the case with History of Violence, which every reviewer and their mom thought was great, but which was absolutely awful, sort of like a Jean Claude Van Damme pic, except with a less plausible storyline. I mean, this may honestly be the most worthless film I’ve seen in years, and yet every reviewer I read thought it was pure genius. Did anybody else see this film and think it looked like something that should be on the USA network at 3 in the morning?
Johnny Goes to Marra’s
I went to Marra’s in South Philly with a couple of ladies from Team Swampass, Ginny and Ellen. The place looks great from the outside, and has a cozy feel on the interior. The pizzas on the menu sounded pretty good. We went with one that was half-pepperoni, artichoke. The other, called the Bianca, was a bit more intriguing. I’ll let Ellen tell you more about it:
It’s combo of broccoli rabe, sun-dried tomatoes, and sausage kept every bite interesting. The sharp provolone was heroic in proportion and in garlic dose, perhaps a plus to some, but I wouldn’t have minded a little
more restraint in both departments. This is definitely a dinner pizza. I would get the red pie with half ‘roni, half artichoke anytime. Here, the tomato sauce complemented both the toppings and the excellent crust–neither
heavy nor cardboard, and just enough doughy moisture.
Tonight’s Show!
Here’s how it’s goin’ down. There will be a show at 8 p.m. tonight at the Franklin Institute, featuring cartoon shorts by Max Fleischer, Disney’s chief rival in the Golden Age of Animation. There will be a number of classic shorts, including several of Popeye and Betty Boop. Then, at 10, I will be hosting a cartoon quizzo, though NOT all of the questions will be about cartoons. But you can count on rounds 2 and 3 being about cartoons. YES, THEY WILL BE SERVING ALCOHOL! Come on, do you think your ol’ pal Johnny is really gonna make you come out on a friday night without an opportunity to numb your brain with booze? Between rounds, they will be showing a cartoon mosaic on the ceiling of the planetarium that I have been told is going to be pretty sweet. Tickets are $4 to play quizzo only, $8 to watch the shorts and play quizzo.
Media Circus continues-Johnny In the Inky
Yep, I made the food section. “But, Johnny,” you ask, “all you know about food is how to eat it.” Not anymore. As you know, I have become the self proclaimed Craig LaBan of pizza (I’ll have a Marra’s review this afternoon after Spanish class), and now my friend Ken and I are respected bakers. The article is actually about the two ladies I wrote about in my story, and about the jealousy they encounter on the bake-off trail. Please realize that my “bakers in Lancaster County” comment carries with a dose of sarcasm.
Related: Johnny Rocks at Intercourse
The Dilly-Yo
A’ight, peeps. I’m heading out to see the Phillies game, so behave yourselves while I’m gone. In the meantime, read up on the worthless piece of human waste who runs Geno’s Cheesesteaks on Philadelphia Will Do. It looks like Bobby Badtimes took the time to post a comment below the write-up. Then, just to prove that the more things change, the more they stay the same, a look into the time machine shows us that two years ago Johnny was every bit as successful with women as he is now. Oh, and if anybody runs into Eve, please have her call me. Thanks.
Congratulations Avi and Deb!
A few years ago, I had an ill-fated quizzo at Moda in Old City, where they refused to turn down the house music and where a bunch of guys in $200 shirts walked in about halfway through the game and just stared in disbelief, as if they had never seen a bunch of nerds before. I lasted a week. But one good thing came of it: Avi and Deborah hung out for the first time. They have played quizzo intermittently in the years since. And then, two weeks ago, Avi popped the question, and she said yes. (He didn’t drop the question at Moda, in case you were wondering.) Congratulations, guys!
Related: Man proposes via quizzo questions.