Those wacky Republicans!

–Rush Limbaugh thinks that Michael J. Fox was “acting” when he displayed the effects of Parkinson’s in a political ad. Hey Rush, were you “acting” when you had that ear problem? Or was that a common side effect of drug addiction?

-Rick Santorum says that a vote for Casey will let the North Koreans think that we are weak on nuclear defense, and will immediately attack us with a nuclear weapon. Then the North Koreans will make our children gay and try to hurt the baby Jesus!

-Speaking of gay, there is a judge in New Jersey who is deciding whether or not gay marriage should be legal. Most of those opposing gay marriage are, of course, Republicans. It’s amazing to me that these guys who wrap themselves so much in the flag think that all Americans are deserving of equal rights under the stars and stripes…except the GAYS! But there is a good reason to not give gays equal rights. I have it on good word that gays love North Korea and they hate freedom! They also hate the baby Jesus!

-Republicans hate Ken Jennings! Ok, so that’s not true, but I figured I’d close out with something more trivia related. Ken Jennings just released a book about trivia, and talks about it at length here. Thanks, Dan, for sending this in.

Murder Haiku Part Deux

Yes gang, I waited and waited for those mysterious two weeks to return to the site, but it apparently isn’t going to happen. Therefore, we must move forward and submit those haikus again, or new haikus for the first time. This is only going until Sunday. I will then judge them and announce a winner on Monday. All haikus must be about murder. The winner gets two free tix to see Murderers, the ongoing production by the Philadelphia Theatre Company. 2nd place gets two tix to the Adventure Aquarium in Camden. Just post your haikus in the comments section below. You can post a maximum of three haikus total. After that I will no longer judge your haikus Also, please leave an email address so I can contact you if you win. If I can’t contact you, you won’t win. Now get to it!

20 questions

05-19-2006 008 (Custom).jpg
Alright, there is really nothing going on in the news that’s interesting or stupid, so I’m going to do something ridiculously self indulgent, even for me: I’m going to, for the first time ever, fill out one of those Myspace surveys. This one is about booze (I stole it from Smackdown). Here goes:
1. When was the last time you drank?
last night had a beer after work

2. Where did u drink at?
the Bards

3. Have you ever been kicked out of a bar?
yes, I was unjustifiably kicked out of McGillan’s, and I’m still pissed about it

4. Have you ever had an interaction with police while under the influence?
got an underage ticket when I was 20

5. How many drinks does it take you to get drunk?
I dunno, maybe 5 or 6.

Continue reading “20 questions” →

What could make baseball better?

Yeah, so the ratings for this years World Series are the worst ever, and baseball has been in a slump since the ’94 strike. What are some ideas to get people interested again? Ern offered that they pla the Series in Las Vegas, which isn’t a bad idea. Always warm, cheap to get to for fans, makes it more of an “event”. I also have an idea I have proposed several times before, and that I am convinced would make regualr season basbeall more exciting: if the teams are tied after 10 innings, you go to home run derby to determine a winner. Hey, hockey realized it had to do something to sexy up the game, so it wento penalty shots. Everybody leaves after the 10th inning of games. If you did home run derby, not a single fan would leave. What idea do you have to improve the game of baseball. No idea is too crazy.

Switching Horses Mid-Stream

When the Phillies blew it in the final week of the regular season, I wasn’t sure who I was gonna root for in the post season. I mean, it’s always fun to root against the Yankees and against the Mets. But the problem is that you almost kind of want them to advance so that you can keep rooting against them. But I got caught up in Detroit’s post season chase when I saw the much maligned Kenny Rogers shut down one of the most potent lineups in baseball history. I cheered for him again as he steamrolled the A’s. And I prepared to cheer again last night. But then baseball fans such as me took another one on the chin. Much like the 1998 home run chase, this too good to be true story of redemption for a 41 year old pitcher was, well, too good to be true. Kenny Rogers is no different than Barry Bonds, and so I’m switching sides. From here on out, I’ll be rooting for St. Louis. I never liked Detroit anyway. It’s hookers are too mean.

Men Who Look Like Kenny Rogers

I was getting ready to post a few lines about the Kenny Rogers pine tar incident, so I decided to do a little research on Tigers pitcher Kenny Rogers. Of course, he’s not the first Kenny Rogers to come up when you search that name. But the 2nd thing to come up is the most interesting. It’s the Men Who Look Like Kenny Rogers page, where people take photos of men that they think look like Kenny Rogers (the singer) and post them on this website.
Bonus Fun Fact: Kenny Rogers Greatest Hits was the first album I ever owned. Yes, I’m old enough to have owned records in a non-ironic way.

Question of the Week

The-time-machine-or-teleport-portal-like-in-the-Fly-movie.jpg
What country was Gil Perez allegedly teleported to from the Phillipines on October 24, 1593?

Around the horn

-A 14 year old learned a valuable lesson this past week when she thought she could threaten Bush on Myspace.

-Am I the only one who kind of hopes that this story about dude jumping off the Whitman was like a Fugitive thing where he dove off the bridge and then remained underwater for a few minutes and then came up on the Philly shore and tried to find the real killer? That would be awesome.

-Life’s not easy for us beautiful people. It’s hard to get things done when people are constantly trying to pick us up. Well, one of my fellow prisoners of beauty decided to do something about it-make herself ugly thru plastic surgery.

-Oh, and one thing we learned last week that I forgot to mention: Wawa’s orange flavored milk is kind of gross.

Shakespeare game

A’ight, I’m posting pictures of winners. Finally. So I’m gonna post a Shakespeare line, and you post in the comments section which play it’s from. One guess per person. No cheating!

Live from the Eastern Shore of Virginia!

Hey gang, I know I haven’t posted the winners from last week yet. Well, I’m on a phone line here in the boondocks, so I’m gonna post winners when I get back to the big city this afternoon.

Ah, kickin’ it at home. And you know what that means. No showering or changing clothes all weekend. This is the life! All of my friends now have babies. I honestly hung out with like 7 children 2 or younger this weekend. It was weird.

My brother in law has direct ticket, so I saw the latest disaster on the gridiron yesterday. I can’t wait to hear the idiots on sports talk this week who think that Jeff Garcia should be our starting QB and that we need to fire Andy. Anyways, there’s no Movie Monday tonight, but we’ll be back in action manana.