German Christmas Village Changes Name to “International Non-Denominational Unicorn Freedom Rainbow Village”

unicorn_rainbow1Earlier today, managing director Richard Negrin decided he should change the name of “German Christmas Village” because a few people complained. In an effort to make the village more palatable to all comers, he decided to change the name to International Non-Denominational Unicorn Freedom Rainbow Village.

“I think we can all agree that there are very few things that people love more than unicorns, freedom, and rainbows,” said Negrin. “Therefore, in an effort to make 100% of the people happy 100% of the time, we have changed the name to that.” He said that he also considered adding the word “Cuddly” to the name, but thought it might offend large, hairy people. Most people visiting the village were ecstatic about the name change.

“I decided to bring my non-denominational friend whose ancestors are from an undisclosed nation to Christmas Village,” said Sally McJackson, “And I was expecting her to be humiliated by that outrageous and filthy word ‘Christmas’ being thrown in her face. So you can imagine how pleased I was when I saw they had changed the name. And she felt right at home. She loves rainbows.” Added McJackson, “Although I do wish they had made it a double rainbow“.

Not everyone was pleased. “I like the idea, but I’m worried about people thinking that unicorns aren’t dangerous by glorifying them in this manner,” said Corie Collar. “If they do indeed exist, one has to think that those horns are a safety hazard.”

When told of Collar’s complaint, Negin sprang into action. “He’s right! Someone could get hurt! Let’s get rid of the unicorns!”

They’ll also be getting rid of the Christmas tree at the Village and replacing it with a “Multi-cultural Majestic Happiness Bush.” When told that the word “happiness” might offend those with symptoms of depression, Negrin said that the word would be removed from the bush.

Double Bounty Tonight at Westbury

Mike is back in action tonight at the Westbury. I’m putting together a team now. Hope to see ya there! Here’s Mike:

Tonight’s quiz starts at the new time of 10 PM.  We had a quite a few new teams come out, so it looks the 10 PM starting time is what the people want.  Best of all, a new team (Tainted Spiderman) won the inaugural challenge round. But it was business as usual in the main event, where Group W and Duane’s World finished one and two.  To shake things up, I’m putting out a DOUBLE bounty on both teams.  Here’s how it works: Beat either team for 2nd place – get $10 extra bucks from yours truly. Beat them both for 1st and get an extra $20. Here’s the kicker – DOUBLE bonus prizes are up for grabs. That’s right, if Group W and Duane’s World both finish out of the money, the first place team get a $40 bonus and the second place team gets $20 extra greenbacks!!  That means if two teams can knock off the big boys, a total of $120 will be awarded. Try to find a prize pool that size at ANY quizzo; go on, I dare you.

I’ll also be giving away some books, CD’s and a real vinyl record before the main event. The newest hit on the quizzo circuit, the Challenge Round, will follow the quiz.  And it’s French Fry Monday.  What more could you want?

All Harry Potter Quiz – A Fortnight Away

In other news, the All Harry Potter quiz at The Ugly American is two weeks from today.  Monday, December 13th at 8 p.m. Save the date; it’s going to be a very special event.  I have some great bonus prizes and an interesting format.  Potter fans are going to LOVE this quiz!  Tune in to this channel tomorrow for all the details.

Big Money Tuesday

bigmoneyNeedless to say, quizzo is cancelled on Thursday. So we’re gonna have to pack 6 quizzes worth of fun into 4 quizzes. We start tonight at O’Neals at 8 p.m. After a few slow weeks, things have been rocking the past two, and we’ve had a lot of fun. Hope we can keep it rolling this week. At the City Tap House, meanwhile, you’re insane if you don’t get a good team together for this one. I mean, seriously, the top prize is now a $100 gift certificate, the largest quizzo prize I am aware of in the city. And here’s the funny thing: we still don’t have a front runner there. 3 different winners in the past three weeks, and never has the winner at the City Tap House had the highest quizzo score for the week. I mean, a $100 gift certificate for basically putting together a halfway decent 6-8 player team. I’m giving away free money here folks! Take it, for heaven’s sakes! Action starts at 10:15 p.m.  Hope to see you tonight.

Lots of Winners at Westbury; Free Vinyl Tonight at Taproom

Per Mike Minion:

Last night, 4 different teams won prizes at the Westbury.  Group W and Duane’s World took down first and second, but Tainted Superman won the inaugural Challenge Round. With only two people on their squad, they were clearly the per-capita champs last night.  In the pre-quizzo action, a member of Crazy Mordew  took home some choice CD’s for correctly identifying The Sugarhill Gang.  Big crowd, lots of winners; a good time had by all.  So where was JGT and his squad?  Well, they backed out at the very last minute. Apparently, the thought of increased competition had them hiding under the covers.  A cowardly act if I ever saw one*.  Maybe stuffing themselves with turkey, succotash, yams, and, well, stuffing will give JGT and his crew a little backbone.  We’ll see next week.

Tonight at the Terrace Taproom promises to be big. Last week, the Challenge Round ended in a tie, so the prize pool starts off loaded and will only grow.  In the regular quiz, Ebonic Plague has emerged as the new team to beat, so I’m adding five bucks to the pot if another team wins.  Also, in addition to some books and CD’s, I’m gonna give away one of my old albums. We always have a great time at the Taproom and the crowd is boisterously and friendly.  Come on out and enjoy the great food and the terrific beer specials, and maybe end up with a real VINYL record!!

*Ed. Note: I believe the no-show was more of an example of sleepiness than cowardice, but that’s for the historians to sort out.