Fastball Bob is Dead

Well folks, I’ve got some bad news to share: Fastball Bob Gutierrez passed away last night from a severe groin pull he suffered while sliding into third base alone at a neighborhood park. Well technically the groin pull didn’t kill him, but it rendered him immobile, and since he was wearing short-shorts in the dead of winter, he froze to death. The only bright spot is that we now know that there are a few more meaty fastballs being blasted over the clouds in heaven right now.

We’re going to press forward at Quizzo Bowl, of course. He’d have wanted the overpriced, fairly monotonous trivia contest to move forward without him. But we will be honoring his legacy early on in the performance. I’m just glad we’ll have a chance to mourn together. See you tomorrow at Quizzo Bowl XVI. (A few more tickets on sale here).

So You’re Attending Quizzo Bowl XVI?

Here’s everything you need to know about Saturday’s big event!

PARKING: Street parking. Best way to get there is definitely Uber or Lyft.

SEATING: Doors open at 7 p.m. First come first serve when it comes to tables. It is going to be quite a bit different than previous years…way more casual seating. There will be several tables for teams of 8 only. There will be some couches. There will be some areas where teams will all get seats and a clipboard.

SHOWTIME: Show starts at 8 p.m. 

SHOW LENGTH? This isn’t your typical pub quiz: live music, video rounds, comedy, etc. It’s really as much of a show as it is a quiz. So sit back, relax, and enjoy. The show typically ends at around 11:15.

FOOD AND DRINK: Yes! There is a bar that serves not only beer, cocktails and wine but also food. And the food is provided by legendary chef Jann Zavala, who once received death threats for making vegan meatballs (her tamales are as amazing as her stories.)

SHOULD I BRING CASH? Yes! We’re going to have raffle tickets on sale to raise money for a Friere Charter Field Trip to Spain. I’ve got a bunch of cool giveaways: gift cards to Milkboy, The GOAT, the Vous, Good Dog, Shibe, Helium comedy club, and Simpatico Theatre. We’ll also do a grand prize 50/50 drawing.

WHAT IF WE WIN? You become a nerd immortal and walk forever in the pantheon of greatness. You also win big prizes.

WHAT’S THE THEME? Quizzo Goes Underground.

WHO ELSE GETS PRIZES? 2nd place, 3rd place, 12th place, and Last Place. Oh and we’ll do a bunch of raffles too, as we raise money for the kids at Friere Charter School to take a field trip to Spain!

WHO IS THE BAND? Pat Finnerty Karaoke Band, named Philly’s Best Karaoke by Philly Mag.

SHOULD WE TAKE PHOTOS? Yes! Please take as many photos as you want…between rounds. Don’t do it while sheets are still out. And please hashtag anything you post online with #QuizzoBowl. I will also have a pro photog there, Marissa the Photolady, to take photos of all the teams!

IS THERE AN AFTERPARTY? Yes! We’re headed right next door into the lounge for the afterparty.

THIS SOUNDS LIKE A FUN NIGHT. It is!

CAN I STILL GET TICKETS? Yes! I have room for about 2-3 more teams! If you want to order them, you can do so here.

SEE YA TOMORROW NIGHT! Great!

Everything You Need to Know About Quizzo Bowl XVI

WHO: Everybody who loves quizzo and want to celebrate the bar game that Philly made famous.

WHAT: Quizzo Bowl XVI, the longest running event of its kind in America.

WHEN: February 29th, 7 PM doors, 8 PM start.

WHERE: Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill Street.

WHY: Because you want to have an awesome time on the ONLY Saturday the 29th you’ll see until 2024, answering trivia questions, performing on stage, and engaging in general inanity.

WHAT’S THE ENTERTAINMENT? Pat Finnerty Live Band Karaoke.

HOW’S THAT GOING TO WORK? Simple. You’re going to drop three songs you want to sing in a bucket. They’ll draw out requests. They know so many songs that they’ll certainly know one of three. If they draw your song, you’ll get on stage to sing…but don’t blow it! Fastball Bob will be in charge of the gong.

HOW MUCH ARE TICKETS? $25, same as they’ve been for the past 15 years.

WHERE CAN I GET THEM? You can purchase them here. I will also have some on me next week at the quiz.

WILL THERE BE A CHARITY COMPONENT: Yes and it’s one I’m excited about. We’ll be doing a 50/50 during the quiz, so be sure to bring some cash. Juliette is a Vous regular and a teacher at Freire Charter School, and they have a field trip coming up…TO SPAIN! Most of these kids have never left Philadelphia, much less gone to another country, and I think it would be awesome if our community could help raise a few hundred bucks to help make sure this is a terrific trip.

WHERE CAN I FOLLOW UPDATES ON THE QUIZ? On the Quizzo Bowl Facebook page.

WHAT THE THEME? Quizzo Goes Underground.

WHAT’S THAT MEAN? Quizzo has gone too corporate, too mainstream. We need to return it to its roots!

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I don’t know. I’m just making this up as I go.

HOW IS IT DIFFERENT THAN A TYPICAL QUIZ GAME? It’s completely different. Video rounds, live music, special guests, guests who aren’t special, huge trophies, ETERNAL GLORY. It is a distillation of everything great about quizzo rolled up into one magical night.

ARE YOU HIGH? I wish.

IS THERE AN AFTERPARTY? Yup! For those of you who haven’t been to Underground Arts before, there’s a main area (the stage) and a “lounge”. The afterparty will be right next door in the lounge.

WILL THERE BE FOOD AND DRINK SPECIALS? Yup, and Underground Arts has legendary tamales maker Jenn Zavala (if you have never heard her Philly BLunt interview, YOU ARE IN FOR A TREAT) running their kitchen, so the food is going to be awesome.

WILL THERE BE A PRO PHOTOG? Yep! Photo Lady Marissa will be on hand to take pro pictures of all participants.

WILL THERE BE PRIZES? Plenty.

WHAT AM I WAITING FOR? I have no idea. Buy your tickets. We’re at about 50 sold, 150 left. Let’s goooooooo!

Quizzo Bowl Tickets Now on Sale!

It’s official, folks. Quizzo Bowl XVI on the rarest of days, February 29th. We’re taking it underground this year, as this year’s quiz will be held at Underground Arts. And the between round entertainment will be…YOU! More details about the event coming later today, but for now just so you now, you can purchase tickets online by going here. Gonna be a great event, look forward to seeing you there.

Quizzo Bowl XVI!

It’s official, folks! Quizzo Bowl XVI is going down on the rarest day of the year, February 29th, at the funkiest of venues, Underground Arts. Really wanted to mix things up this year, and I’m going into this one excited to basically peel back everything and start from scratch. I love the World Cafe Live, but it was time for something new. That does mean that there will be fewer tickets for sale this year, at a smaller venue. Tickets will go on sale later this week, so be sure to check back.

As for our musical guest this year, it’s going to be….YOU! We’re bringing the Pat Finnerty Live Band Karaoke Experience to Quizzo Bowl this year, so that YOU can perform between rounds. We’ll have a trophy for best performance, but we’ll also have a gong for those who are terrible. The gong, of course, will be operated by Fastball Bob.

I think things got a little too formulaic the past few years, so I’m taking a step back, looking at this very cool tradition we’ve got here, and working on ways to take it to another level. I hope you’ll join me. Let’s have some fun.

So You’re Attending Quizzo Bowl? Here’s What You Need to Know.

Quizzo Bowl XV (1)

PARKING: There is none. Well, very little. Best way to get there is definitely Uber or Lyft.

SEATING: Doors open at 7 p.m. First come first serve when it comes to tables. The good news is that there isn’t a bad seat in the house.

SHOWTIME: Show starts at 8 p.m. 

SHOW LENGTH? This isn’t your typical pub quiz: live music, videos, comedy, etc. It’s really as much of a show as it is a quiz. So sit back, relax, and enjoy. The show typically ends at around 11:15.

FOOD AND DRINK: World Cafe Live will have food and drink you can order for dinner, including Mai Tais and Blue Hawaiians.

WHAT IF WE WIN? You become a nerd immortal and walk forever in the pantheon of greatness. You also win $800 worth of prizes.

WILL IT BE ALL HAWAIIAN THEMED? No, I’d expect a Hawaiian twist to some of the questions, but it will certainly not be all questions about Hawaii.

WHO ELSE GETS PRIZES? 2nd place, 3rd place, 15th place, best dressed team, and Last Place. Oh and we’ll do a bunch of raffles too.

WHO IS THE BAND? Slowey and the Boats, a Hawaiian surf band. These dudes are legit.

SHOULD WE TAKE PHOTOS? Yes! Please take as many photos as you want…between rounds. Don’t do it while sheets are still out. And please hashtag anything you post online with #QuizzoBowl.

IS THERE AN AFTERPARTY? Yes! We’re headed to the Market Tavern at 30th and Market after the Quizzo Bowl for a nightcap.

THIS SOUNDS LIKE A FUN NIGHT. It is!

CAN I STILL GET TICKETS? Yes, you can buy them online at World Cafe Live.

SEE YA TOMORROW NIGHT! Great!

Quizzo Bowl Afterparty!

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Quizzo Bowl afterparty this year will take place at Market Tavern on 30th and Walnut (formerly known as Slainte on the corner of 30th and Market). Two blocks from WCL. They’ll hook us up with $3.25 Heinekens and $3.50 Coronas. Gonna be a great night, and we’ve still got room for a few more teams. If you wanna have a great night on Saturday night, get a squad together and get your tickets now!

Prizes for Best Aloha Shirt and Muumuu at QB XV

JGT, circa 1999.
JGT, circa 1999.

When I first moved to Hawaii with my childhood buddy Bo in 1998, we decided to attend services at the Mokuaikaua Church, the oldest Christian church in Hawaii. I put on my typical church wear: an Oxford shirt and a tie. Bo said, “You don’t need to wear a tie.” Being from the South, I knew that was outrageous.

“Of course I have to wear a tie, it’s church.”

“OK but you’re going to look like an idiot.”

I decided to take my chances. We started to walk into church, and the usher, sure enough, says, “Why you wearing a tie? Take it off. Relax.” And that was the last time I was dumb enough to wear a tie in Hawaii. The tie simply doesn’t exist there. For formal occasions, men wear Aloha shirts and women wear muumuus. And so it shall be at Quizzo Bowl XV, where you will be expected to wear Aloha wear. I mean, if we’re going to do a Hawaiian party, we’re going to do it right.

If you’re really looking to wear something nice that you can wear again, I recommend Hilo Hatties. An actual Hawaiian store that has beautiful clothes. And if you sign up on their website they give you 20% off your first order. It is a bit pricer than your other options, but if you want to support a true Hawaiian business and have an awesome shirt or muumuu when it’s done, that’s the spot.

If you’re looking to do it on the cheap, the move is always local thrift stores, but if you’re in a rush, yes of course you can use amazon. They’ve got some decent aloha shirts and muumuus for under $20.

And yes, we will have prizes for best Aloha shirt, best muumuu, and best dressed team.

Quizzo Bowl Final Scores!

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A raucous night, some great country tunes, and some heated competition at World Cafe Live, and when all was said and done, it was the Cracked Pact taking home their 2nd title in three years. The Magnificent Seven, the defending champs, fell just short at 129. And a spectacular finish by North Star alums Careless Fister put them in third place, and Beast of Bourbon and five time champs Sofa Kingdom finished tied for 5th. For more photos and analysis, check out the JGT Quizzo Page on facebook.

  1. Cracked Pact 133
  2. The Magnificent Seven 129
  3. Careless Fister 124
  4. Beast of Bourbon 123
  5. Sofa Kingdom 123
  6. Jawny Goodtimes 119
  7. Duane’s World 119
  8. But My Mom Says I’m Cool 117
  9. Synchronized Trampoline 117
  10. Alien vs Predator vs Brown vs Board of Education 115
  11. Pats Over Eagles, 9 to 5 114
  12. Lambda Lambda Lambda 113
  13. Why Can’t Us? 111
  14. Double Stuff Oreo 110
  15. High and Lonesome 110
  16. Specific Jawns 108
  17. Is Your Cousin as Pretty as Mine? 104
  18. Tempura House 103
  19. Patriots Don’t Have Cox 102
  20. World Cafe Live Staff 101
  21. We Bathe in Eagle Tears 100
  22. Manic Pixie Dream Team 98
  23. Penguins 98
  24. Philly Blues 98
  25. Stormy Daniels Fan Club 98
  26. Babysitters Fight Club 93
  27. Superb Owl Week 92
  28. Pat Meehan’s Soulmates 85
  29. Disco All Over JGT If We Lose 81
  30. Nelson’s Willie 77
  31. Dickin Around in the Background 75
  32. Trivia Newt and Jawn 73
  33. Pad Thai-d Pod 60
  34. Margate Mashers 56
  35. The Nardawgs 25 

Final Scores from Quizzo Bowl XII

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First of all congratulations to Cracked Pact, who defeated the Sofa Kingdom in overtime at Quizzo Bowl XII. I’ll have a full write up once we get our photos and video in. In the meantime, here’s how everyone finished:

  1. Cracked Pact 133
  2. Sofa Kingdom 133
  3. 50 Shades of Cray 126
  4. #1 Government Team Competitor 124
  5. Imaginary Pablo and the Goat 122
  6. Tempura House, a Shelter for Lightly Battered Women 120
  7. The CGA 120
  8. Invincible Ignorance 117
  9. Dr. Teeth and Electric Mayhem 116
  10. Honeybadgers 113
  11. Duane’s World 111
  12. Popesack 110
  13. Make QUizzo great Again 107
  14. Everybody’s Working for J-Weekend 106
  15. The Frederalists 106
  16. But My Mom Says I’m Cool 103
  17. Lambda Lambda Lambda 103
  18. Premature INquizilation 102
  19. Synchronized Trampoline 102
  20. In the Lead 101
  21. Island of Misfit Toys 100
  22. Jack’s Back 100
  23. Satan’s Minions 100
  24. At Least We Get to See Kweder 99
  25. Quizzes and Quills 99
  26. Trumpleforeskin 98
  27. Jitney Spears 95
  28. Show Me Your Caucus 88
  29. Hammered Dulcimers 87
  30. One if BY Pink, Two if by Stink 84
  31. Quizzo Bowl 13: A Subsidiary of Geek Bowl 11 84
  32. Cuts Dat Flo 82
  33. Mysterious Mr. Mapother 82
  34. Incontinental Congress 81
  35. Intoxication w/o Representation 81
  36. Slow Talkers of America 80
  37. A Jerk and a Squirt 79
  38. I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Reach My Beer 77
  39. A Structured Settlement Rules Everything Around Us 67
  40. Ardmore Assassins 53
  41. Vote for Pedro 47
  42. King Jake Jelly Jam 45

 

 

 

Quizzo Bowl Update


Ok, gang, so we’re 10 days away and things are starting to fall into place. Sort of. I’ve got our music round figured out, have almost locked in our wild card round (and it’s plenty wild) and am still trying to figure out what the hell we’re going to do with our video round. (We were supposed to shoot this past weekend but needless to say with the blizzard, that didn’t happen.)

Above is the promo video I put together for the event. And a quick reminder…in an effort to be as weird as possible this year, I am encouraging everyone to dress in 1970s gear. Best dressed team wins a $100 gift cert.

As far as tickets, they are moving fast. Do NOT assume I am holding some for you, even if you’re a regular. I will, however, have tickets for sale on me at quizzo tonight and tomorrow. So if you want to assure yourself a table, either come see me at quizzo or you can buy them here.

Most importantly, I really need a team to knock off Sofa Kingdom this year. Please. Make it happen. To get real time Quizzo Bowl Updates, please be sure to join the Quizzo Bowl Facebook page, which I will be updating almost daily between now and the big event.

Everything You Need to Know About Quizzo Bowl

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WHO: Anybody who wants to play. Teams of up to 8 players.

WHAT: Quizzo Bowl XII, the longest running quizzo event of it’s kind in the Universe. It is a celebration of nerd awesomeness, great music, and a vaudeville spirit. In the past we’ve had breakdancers, glam rock bands, Motown bands, human pretzels, Black Elvis, dancing, singing, Fastball Bob, . And this year we are bringing a true Philadelphia legend to the stage to rock. Kenn Kweder and the Hipster Mind Tricks are going to be taking you back to the 1970s (more on that later).

WHEN: Saturday, February 6th, 2016. Doors open at 7 p.m. Event starts at 8.

WHERE: World Cafe Live. 3025 Walnut Street.

WHY: Why not?

PRIZES: Yes, there will be $1500 worth of prizes for the winning teams (and new this year: a 14th place prize!). There will also be raffles and prizes given away throughout the evening. And Electric Mayhem will be gunning for their 4th straight last place prize.

IS THERE A THEME? Of course there is. The theme is “The Spirit of ’76”. We’re bringing the bicentennial to life at the World Cafe. Expect 1970s tunes, 1970s outfits, and a bicentennial twist on some of the questions, whatever the hell that means. Furthermore, the best dressed team will win a $100 gift card to a local establishment. So wear either 1776 gear or 1976 gear, and you’ve got a good shot of going home with a sweet prize.

IS THIS THING GOING TO BE ON A BOAT AGAIN THIS YEAR? No, this year’s event will not be on a boat. It will be at the World Cafe Live. There will be no more boat events.

GOOD, BECAUSE WE DON’T DO BOATS. I am well aware.

WHERE DO I SIGN UP? You can currently purchase tickets online here. I will also be selling a few on consignment at my quizzes starting next week. Tickets are $25 a pop. If you haven’t been before, trust me, it will be well worth it. And do not wait until the last minute. This has sold out in 10 of the previous 11 years.

THE BOAT DIDN’T SELL OUT. No it did not.

NOT EVEN CLOSE. Will you knock it off?

WILL THERE BE AN AFTERPARTY? Yes, working on details now. Will let you know soon.

WHERE CAN I GET UPDATES AS WE GET CLOSER TO THE EVENT? The Quizzo Bowl Facebook page just went live. It will be filled with previous Quizzo Bowl performances, Kweder performances, practical ticket info, and all sorts of tomfoolery. So be sure to sign up there, and that’ll keep you informed.

ANYTHING ELSE WE SHOULD KNOW? Just have fun. That’s the biggest thing about Quizzo Bowl. Kweder does a lot of back and forth with his crowds (which is why his live shows are legendary). This is gonna be an interactive event, from the trivia to the music. So be ready to be part of the show. Let’s do it to it!

 

Kenn Kweder to Perform at Quizzo Bowl XII!


You always remember the first time you hear something that sounds unlike anything you have ever heard before. I still remember as a 7-year old in 1982, listening in amazement at the Little League field as a couple of guys played Grandmaster Flash on their boombox. I had never heard anything like it, and it kicked off a love of hip-hop that persists to this day.

Fast forward about 25 or so years, when tuned in WXPN one day and heard a song unlike anything I had ever heard before. It was Heroin, a song that broke the longstanding rule in our society that art about dark topics needs to carry with it an appropriate gravitas. This song broke that rule, being an upbeat and peppy song about a relationship made stronger through heroin. It was ironic, weird, and really catchy. By the end of the song, I found myself singing along enthusiastically. I heard the DJ say that it was Kenn Kweder. When I got home, I rushed to the computer to see what the deal was with this guy, and ran into not only a great artist, but an amazing story. (I also contacted Chip, who said incredulously: “You’ve never heard of Kweder? Duuuuuuude!) I had stumbled onto a local icon, a Philly guy who had travelled the world playing rock music, who had had a chance to make it big but refused to sell out, and who was still rock ‘n’ rolling into his 60s, somehow maintaining rock n roll not as a hobby but as a profession. Who does that? (If you haven’t already, PLEASE read this interview with Kweder that I did a couple of years ago. Really fascinating.)
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Kweder became the subject of a documentary that was recently released to rave reviews at a Tampa Film Festival and will be released in Philly at some point this year (see trailer above), so I thought it would be a really cool time to get Kweder on board for Quizzo Bowl. He’ll be bringing a full band along, and is prepared to rock the house down. Our last few music acts have been truly incredible, and this promises to be no different. And I’m expecting you guys, the nerd elite who will be attending, to get into the spirit too. A lot of Kweders stuff is sing-songy, back and forth with the crowd, so be ready to get involved. He and his group (the Hipster Mind Tricks) will also be playing a lot of sweet jams from the mid 70s, as our theme is “The Spirit of ’76” (more on that later.) We have the last of the true rock stars performing at Quizzo Bowl XII, so get excited. The Bowl takes place on February 6th at World Cafe Live. Tickets can be purchased now online. I’ll have some on me at quizzo starting next week. Let’s get it!

Quizzo Bowl 2015: The Year We Turned It Up to XI

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I had narrowed it down to a couple of bands for Quizzo Bowl XI, but wasn’t sure that either was the perfect fit. After taking a bath on the boat, I needed QBXI to be a success or it was going to be the end of the road for the Bowl as we know it. So I needed a sure shot for the band. When I saw that the musical Motown was coming to Philly, it clicked. I asked around about Motown bands, and was quickly pointed in the direction of the York Street Hustle.

The weather was snowy and nasty, and getting to to the World Cafe proved to be a major challenge. The snow and ice combo had me worried that whole teams were going to drop out, but only a few people couldn’t make it.

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There were some shenanigans, such as the opener “Quizzo Bowl Man”, which was going great until I totally flubbed the lines in the second verse, which is something I’ll never forgive myself for. A more successful performance was put on by my mom, who sang backup on a Supremes number.  The quiz itself was rather enjoyable, from the back and forth between Fastball Bob and Bing Supernova that formed Round Two to the debut of Johnny Flamethrower in Round Three. In terms of trivia, it was Round Four that took the cake, as the music round, a collection of Detroit musicians that ran the gamut from Del Shannon to Kid Rock, was a huge success. But it was the between round performances that truly made the night. The York Street Hustle simply channelled the spirit and energy of Motown, and by the end, the crowd was less interested in the scores than they were in the band.

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With good reason. The Sofa Kingdom won their 5th Quizzo Bowl, but even their repeat title couldn’t put a damper on the night. The team of Jeopardy champs finished 2nd, but the heroes of the night were But My Mom Says I’m Cool, who took a narrow lead into the final round and finished an impressive third. (You can check all of the scores here.)

All in all, Quizzo Bowl XI was a resounding success, with numerous people saying it was the greatest one of all time. It certainly ranked right up there with some of the classics, such as QBIV (at the Blue Horizon), QBVIII (steel drums and Koob and Kristy’s on-stage engagement), and QBIX (Welcome to My Face). Regardless, it’s going to be a damn tough act to follow for whomever gets the music gig next year. Be sure to check out Emelie Rejician’s incredible photos from Quizzo Bowl XI.