Ok, rarely do I post things that compete with me, but I’m willing to make an exception this time, since Chip’s the guy that introduced me to Lou Pearlman when I was 14. Chip Chantry’s gonna be shooting a resume video Wednesday night at Helium, and he needs a good crowd to show up. Tickets are $15, but if you tell them that you saw his Myspace post, you get two for one tickets (it’s ok if you didn’t actually see it. Just tell them you did. See kids, sometimes it’s ok to lie.) Anyone who has seen Chip do standup will tell you that he’s damn funny, except for that one time we did that show at the Balcony at the Troc and the people who had just left the heavy metal concert downstairs came up and were really loud and it was Chinese New Year so then fireworks started going off during the middle of his set and then he called one of the Troc employees a whore and then we got fired from the Troc. He was pretty crappy that night. But every other time he’s been hilarious, so get your tickets asap.
Helium Comedy Club
2031 Sansom St, Philadelphia
Wednesday, October 3rd
8pm
Call for reservations: (215)496-9001

Over 100 comics competed in this years Philly’s Funniest competition at Helium Comedy Club, and when the dust settled, Steve Gerben reigned supreme. His act is hilarious, and on top of that he’s a damn nice guy. Anton Shuford finished 2nd, Chip finished 3rd, and Pat Barker finished 4th. I went both Friday and Saturday nights, and the local comedians at both shows were tremendous. The headline guy, Craig Gass, was ok. I’m not a huge fan of blue comedy, so I wasn’t crazy about it. I was a little surprised they had a blue comic act as MC for this thing, but he did do some great impressions and I’ve certainly seen worse. For example, me at Muhlenberg College in 2003.
I’d like to direct you to this portion of the story: The emcee for the night, Pat Kelley, got on stage and started a low-grade stand up routine consisting mainly of crass fart jokes. Next came John Goodtimes who was only slightly better than Kelley, which isn’t saying much.

Yep, that was the night I learned the old comic adage, “Don’t do your Hitler joke at Muhlenberg College.”

After a grueling shoot and an exhaustive weekend of editing, tonight JGT will premiere his brand new film, Pool Boy. The film also stars Alexis Brie Wildau, John Kensil, Chip Chantry, and features a cameo by D-Mac. It will be airing as part of the “Dirtiest Sketch Competition” that will also include performances by various local comedy troupes such as Bad Hair, Secret Pants, and the Waitstaff . There are rumors that JGT shot a porn, but as of this time, he is not saying a word. Entry is $5 and the drink specials at the Khyber are notoriously cheap (I’m talking $1 beer cheap). Hope to see you there.

…I was shooting the other day: It will be shown at DIE ACTOR DIE’s dirtiest sketch contest at the Khyber on Monday night. The show is getting a ton of press: Philly Weekly write up here, City Paper write up here. I think it’s gonna be pretty funny. Or, more likely, really, really bad.

Wow, the storm brewing around the Danny Ozark and Lu Ann Cahn debacle seems to be getting bigger by the minute. Danny is a friend of mine and a regular on the comedy circuit. Though not exactly famous for his good judgement, he is a really nice guy, and I think he probably feels bad that he went too far, which he obviously did. Rifling through Cahn’s personal stuff is low-brow and inexcusable, and it was even more juvenile and disrespectful to embarrass her on-air. But I think it also shows something else: that the local news doesn’t do stories on local talent unless the reporters are directly involved. Every comedian in town was excited about this story, b/c one of them was actually going to get covered on the television news. While print media and local radio do a pretty good job of helping out local performers, TV news would rather cover a new Wegman’s opening or interview Pat Croce or something. Danny O., like lots of local performers, has been working his butt off for years. It’s a shame that one of them had to do something stupid like this to get recognized for it.

This is it peeps! For months, you refused to watch this train wreck of a game show. And then, before you had a chance to see what everyone was talking about (in a negative fashion), it went off the air. But now, thanks to the miracle of modern space flight, the Wheel of Terrific will be reappearing at the Khyber for one time only! That’s right, it will be either A) really funny or B) extremely unfunny, in which case you get to see JGT fall on his face. YOU WIN EITHER WAY! Also, the Die Actor Die show will feature comedians John Kensil and Sean Curran, as will Rowan and Hastings, best known for their “My Favorite Bears” rap (moderately unsafe for work. A few cuss words.) And there will be another deconstruction of a 80s music video. It’s at the Khyber tonight at 8 p.m., and only costs $5. In addition, there will be $1 PBRs, $2 Lagers, and $2 Dead Actors. This is gonna be a great show. Hope to see you there!
RELATED: Die Actor Die website.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to announce that Chip Chantry and I will be reviving the least popular game show in Delaware Valley history on Monday night, as we host the Wheel of Terrific at the Khyber as part of Die Actor Die. This will be the last time the vaunted wheel will ever appear. And therefore, we have decided to call it the “Big Wheel of Terrific”. That’s how incredible it’s going to be. We’re adding the word “Big”.

The Die Actor Die show at the Khyber last night was awesome. Not a huge crowd (about 20), but they were tight and host Don Montrey and his friends from ComedySportz put on a great show. Pat Barker is one of the funniest young comedians in Philly (his piece about Atlantic City was brilliant), and Chip did a character named Donovan McNabb who was completely out of his mind. Hell, even my set went well. Don then brought Steve Perry up on stage to discuss one of his old videos. Great stuff. He’s gonna do a show again next month, and I highly recommend it. Wanna give a mad shout out to the members of Sofa Kingdom who came out to support the cause.

Hey peeps, I’m gonna be doing some stand up at the Khyber (I’m not going to post an address. If you don’t know where the Khyber is, you just can’t come) tonight as part of their Die Actor Die show at 8:30 p.m.. It’s supposed to be a really fun gig. It’s where old Wheel of Terrific hosts go when their Mondays run dry (Yeah, Chip’s on the show as well, but we’re doing stand up, not the Wheel). Tix are $5 cheap, and a bunch of other comics, musicians, and sketch troupes are on the show as well. And no whining about paying to see a show when PBRs and Miller Lite’s are a dollar. That’s right, a buck. Ya Heard!!!
RELATED: Die Actor Die on Myspace.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Johnny, you brilliant little devil you, you planned this so perfectly. A comedy show that ends right at midnight in Chinatown, so that those of us at your show can then step right outside and see the midnight Chinese New Year Parade! Absolutely brilliant!” To which I can only say, uh, yeah, you’re right. I, uh, planned it this way all along because I have, uh, remarkable foresight and people who say that this is just a totally awesome coincidence have no iea what they are talking about.

Holy s***! Are you kidding me? This rules! What a great excuse to see some great comedy and also a midnight parade! And you might as well get some good Asian food while you are there. I suggest Penang or the Sang Dee Peking Duck House. They both rock.
RELATED: JGT Comedy Spectacular.