Apparently K-Fed rocked the house last night in Chicago, playing to a pretty decent sized crowd once the House of Blues decided to make tickets free b/c nobody bought any. Here were some quotes from the story:
-“Hey, I see a lot of fine ladies in here,” said the rapper. “You know I’m a free man, right, ladies? You wanna dance with a pimp?”
-“All my ladies,” he said from stage, “I love you to death!”
-“Ladies if you’re drunk, let me hear you scream!” he shouted. Later he added, “I represent the g–damned West Coast.”
– “It’s a party for K Federline. Gonna rock and roll,” he announced.

Oh God Britney, can’t you please just give him one more chance? Please? You can’t let this kind of guy slip away! He’s representing the g-damned West Coast, for goodness sakes! I mean, his album sold over 6,000 copies this past week (which is what I would expect to sell, honestly, if I released a rap album), and will probably end up selling around 2 million when all is said and done.

The World RPS Championship is on Saturday, but I haven’t decided whether or not to play. I mean, I thought I could find a last minute cheap flight, but that ain’t happening, and the drive is an all day event. So is it worth it to drive all day on Friday and all day Sunday to play RPS on Saturday? Not sure. Plus my little league b-ball team has a game on Saturday that I’d have to miss if I go. (BTW, we won our first game this past Saturday, which raises the obvious question: Am I the next Red Auerbach?).

I’ve dogged Philly Mag a lot over the years, and will certainly continue to gleefully do so. However, I must give credit where credit is due: they have an excellent cover story this month on the murder epidemic in our city. And I also appreciate editor Larry Platt’s feelings on this topic: Last week, when our cover story on Philadelphia’s murder epidemic came out, it was met with some eye-opening examples of civic denial. The Greater Philadelphia Hotel Association accused us of sensationalizing because we didn’t say on our cover that “the murder problem exists primarily in North Philadelphia.” I responded by pointing out that we’re one city, one Philadelphia, and great cities tackle their problems head-on. Moreover, history has proven that you can’t flourish in the long run by perpetuating your own tale-of-two-cities narrative; you can’t maintain your soul while pretending that five-year-olds getting caught in the crossfire a mile to the north are not your problem. You do that and you can say goodbye to our upsurge in tourism, dining and the arts. You do that and you become Detroit.

Kick ass, Larry (btw, I’m being serious here, not facetious. I feel the exact same way that Larry does. ONE needs to be more than a logo for our football team. It should be the logo for our city.) This issue was so good, I’ve decided to forgive you for the parking lot debacle at the Best Of Awards!

As you might suspect, Johnny is devastated by Tuesday’s events. First the breakup, then the Santorum loss; life hardly seems worth living. He will be spending the day in his basement, sobbing softly. However, he will bravely be on the mic hosting quizzo on Wednesday.

I’m going to post pics of the winners, followed by the lyrics of various songs. You have to write in the comments section what song the lyrics come from, and the artist. Good luck, and no cheating! One guess per person.

This from the City Paper, about La Lupe: The chorizo taco at La Lupe costs $2. That means two tacos = $4. S***’s tasty, too — poked with sprigs of cilantro, smothered in an alarmingly green salsa and served with a side of sliced cucumber.

Hey guys, I’m no food critic, but I’m pretty sure that if you’re trying to talk up a restaurant, you don’t use the term “s***’s tasty”. Ever. Ever ever ever. Seriously. S***’s lame.

Other food news: We’re still the best at tipping. As a long time former server, I say, “Rock on, Philly!”

There are a lot of haters out there, according to 34th Street Magazine, which today came out with a piece about Rock Paper Scissors. Of course, I just skimmed through the article until I found the part about me:
Johnny Goodtimes, the City League Champ and self-described “champion athlete,” relishes talking to reporters and the film crew, and often repeats his grand and humorous statements about his famous win. Though he will play in Toronto, he has retired from American play because “I’m already an international megastar, due to the Quizzo empire, and I don’t need the accolades and the glory and the casual sex and everything else that’s attached to being a champion.” Though he is being sardonic, there is no smile on his face and only a hint in his voice that he might be less than serious.

Continue reading “JGT in 34th Street Magazine” →

-Is anyone else having problems with fruit flies? I mean, it’s not like I eat fruit, so I don’t know what these guys are doing here. My mom said that she had ’em bad down in Virginia, but is anyone else getting them, or is my family cursed?

–King of the hipsters gets profiled. Those ironic hipsters love the fact that it’s in Philadelphia Magazine. One of the hipsters sounds unironic, though, like a Rouge regular. Another Philly scenester at the table, Ryan Creed, tells me: “You’re right now sitting at the center of Philadelphia top-shelf, A-list hipster power.” I laugh — and then realize he’s mostly serious.

-Tired of wearing those contemporary jerseys that show off your belief in Jesus? Then you need a Christian throwback jersey! (The girl modeling the Genesis jersey is way too hot to be a Christian.) Thanks to Phil for sending this in.

-Huge upset and somebody ups the ante on the Fado vs. Black Sheep quizzo rivalry. Details coming tommorrow.

In what has been judged the worst contest in the history of mankind, JGT has decided to announce the winners for the 2nd Annual JGT Haiku Extravaganza. Of course, the initial 31 haikus were lost to the machine, as they were eaten by cyberspace and will probably be seen on tv sets in England in like three years (updated link. Previous one to AI story made no sense. Everything about this contest is jinxed!) Anyways, three people pretty much provided all of the haikus from that point on, those people being Darth Ern, EE, and Palestra Jon. And they all had at least one good one. But Ern’s were almost all about politics, so he was eliminated. Palestra Jon was able to note, in haiku form, how frustrated everyone was with the disastrous contest. His was third best:
He lost the first set
Five haikus the second time
This is all fake, right?

But EE did a better job. He was also able to convey the anger many felt toward the quizmaster with computer problems after JGT asked for more haikus. He finished 2nd.
I mean, why bother?
He’ll only lose them again.
Let’s murder Goodtimes.

But my favorite came from the Fink, and it had the most to do with this year’s topic, murder:
Feathers are flying!
Clucking, pecking – then silence.
It’s murder most fowl.

What the heck, the top three all get tix to Murderers, which is in it’s final week this week! Contact me and let me know where I can hand off your tix. And I want to thank everyone who participated. Let’s close with a haiku.
It was the host who
lost your haiku masterpiece
Or was it Badtimes?

Movie Monday semi-regular Dawn shares my love of the greatest movie ever, but she now has one up on me: she met the master! Here is her report:
Okay it was the coolest thing ever! It was at Chiller Theatre this weekend (www.chillertheatre.com). He was so awesome. I acted like a total spaz. I packed all my Pee Wee stuff and dumped it on the table in front of him, including dvds, VHS, a lighter, etc. I printed the picture of me from the Troc in my Pee Wee shirt. He wrote on it Dawn, I (drew heart and colored it in) you! I could just about die right now. Miss Yvonne was there too. She was so sweet.

I was so nervous leading up to it and everyone was waiting me for me pass out and/or pee myself – no pun intended. So coincidence or not, extra security arrived in the room when I got to our hero. After it was all said and done, people cheered for me. Oh, and Paul called me high maintenance. He saw right to the core of me 🙂

He wasn’t even there promoting anything. Just was there for the fans, I guess. His manager flipped out a little when I pulled out an autographed picture of The Tripper I got from David Arquette (an upcoming movie with Arquette and Paul Reubens in it). But overall it was great. I can’t stop smiling thinking about it. I hope he starts doing more appearances once he gets into his new flicks.