Only in Philadelphia!

Sock monkey nativity scenes, on display in the window of Words of Whimsy, 1904 South St.

Merry Christmas!

Johnny Goodtimes received a death threat a few days ago, and the Johnny Goodstapo was immediately called into action. “It was a friendly letter,” said Johnny, “But then at one point the writer said ‘they could tell me, but they’d have to kill me’. I think it was a throwaway comment, based on something Tom Cruise said in the 1985 box office sensation Top Gun. But in these troubled times, you can really never be too cautious.” Things got worse a couple of days later. “I got another letter, this one apologizing for the remark, but letting me know that ‘this is the way South Philly girls roll.’ Needless to say, I called the Johnny Goodstapo on the double.” Baron von Weinerschnitzel (below) has been head of the Goodstapo since 1922. “This isn’t the first time this has happened. You’ve got to remember, Johnny is an international mega-star, so these things are bound to occur. But ever since Johnny got his ass handed to him by that broad at the aquarium, we’ve had to be even more vigilant.”

Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

At a press conference on the steps of Capitol Hill, Johnny Goodtimes tearfully apologized for an error he made in last week’s Quizzo Spectacular. On the question, “True/False: Andrew Jackson was the first president born in the United States of America,” Johnny stated that the answer was true. His reasoning was that the first six presidents were born in the British colonies. However, after receiving an e-mail from angry fan Brett “The Barber” Beefcake, Johnny did more research. “Today, I regret to inform you, the fans, that an inexcusable error was made during last weeks Quizzo. Andrew Jackson was born in 1767, and Martin Van Buren was the first born after July 4, 1776. Though it did not alter last week’s standings, it is an embarrassment to me, my family, and my good friend Paris Hilton. I hope you, the fans, can forgive me,” Johnny said before breaking into uncontrollable sobbing. This has not been an easy week for Goodtimes. He was spotted twice over the weekend at Pat’s Steaks after 3 a.m. ,having obviously struck out with the ladies repeatedly over the course of both nights. Though the press conference was not seen on television here in America, it was seen on two different stations in Saskatchewan, where Johnny is very big.

Frank Clements was sold recently, and when the staff showed up for work on November 1st, they were told they no longer had jobs. There were a lot of wonderful people who worked there, and I will sorely miss them. It was really neat to be a part of Philadelphia history, and I’m sorry that all of that was gone overnight. There aren’t many places like that left.
I thoroughly enjoyed the regular crowd we had on Tuesday nights, and though I know we can never recreate that experience entirely, I do hope we can find somewhere else to meet. If you have anything to say about the Frank Clements closing or would like to let me know where we should try to do a quizzo on Tuesdays at 6:00 p.m., please check out the message board. I have spoken with several bars in the area, and I would like to find one where you guys would feel most comfortable. Edie, everyone’s favorite waitress, wrote a note that I thought you guys might like to read.

Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo Spectacular Media Kit

About Johnny Goodtimes

Johnny Goodtimes is host of nightly quizzos, the remarkably popular bar game that has taken Philadelphia by storm. Johnny has recently been named as the best quizzo host in the city by City Paper.
Though Goodtimes is widely recognized as the Dali Lama of trivia, his background remains a mystery. He was born in a town of 600 people in eastern Virginia and played against Allen Iverson in Boo Williams’ Summer Basketball League. After college, he took his talents to Hawaii, where he was a dolphin trainer, bringing the likes of Kobe Bryant, Al Gore, and Comedian Jon Lovitz into the water with our wetter mammalian counterparts. He then moved to Philadelphia, and after discovering the uniquely-Philly sport of “Quizzo”, successfully started his own empire – hosting the event at 7 locations weekly throughout the city.

About Quizzo

Quizzo, a bar game that came to America a few years ago from Ireland, really seems to have struck a cord in Philadelphia, as thousands of people play at bars and taverns throughout the city every week. The game itself is quite simple: participants play in teams of up to eight people, writing down answers to questions given to them by the quizmaster. The team that scores the highest total points at the end is declared the winner. What separates Johnny from the pack is his unique scoring system, his sense of humor, and a website on which he posts pictures of the winners (and occasionally losers), writing bogus and sometimes hilarious stories about the contests.

Ad Opportunities

In the coming weeks multiple advertising vehicles will be unveiled on johnnygoodtimes.com.

Graphic Ads

Guarantee 50% of page views:

• Banner (468×60) $150 a month
  Above fold, below site logo.
• Skyscraper Ad (120×600) $125 a month
  Right sidebar
• Button (120×120)
  Right sidebar $75 a month

Text Links

• Always visible link? (Right sidebar) $50 a month

Score Sheets

Score sheets are given to each team and provide several sponsorship opportunities:

• Banner
  
  Directly below Johnny Goodtimes logo
• Advertising boxes
  Across bottom of score sheet. Ideal for coupons or branding.

Email

A weekly reminder email is sent by Johnnygoodtimes.com.

• Text Ad
  Two text advertising spots are available per email.

Promotions

Johnnygoodtimes.com periodically runs promotions that draw significant spikes in visitors to the web site. These promotions can be run in conjunction with an advertiser for the benefit of both parties. Below is a list of past and future promotional opportunities:

• Be the Next Johnny Goodtimes. (July 2004)
• Try out for a reality TV show. (October 2004)
• Johnny Goodtimes Hall of Fame (November 2004)

Contact Johnny Goodtimes

Johnny Goodtimes
JohnnyGoodtimes.com
(215) 327-4191
johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com

Significant discounts are available for first time advertisers. Static and
animated gif and jpg ads are accepted. All Creative must be pre-approved by
Johnny Goodtimes Productions. Email to advertise@johnnygoodtimes.com
if you are interested.

Payment

Purchase is payable by credit card via Paypal or by check if necessary. Payment is due prior to running of advertisements.

Demographics

Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo Spectacular and johnnygoodtimes.com attract a young intelligent audience with expendable income. Look for more detailed demographic breakdown coming soon.

• 65% of users connect to Johnnygoodtimes.com via a broadband Internet provider such as Verizon DSL or Comcast cable modem. See below survey of broadband users.
• 10% of users visit johnnygoodtimes.com from their college or university.

Broadband Demographics

A survey by the Pew Internet & American Life Project reveals that 59 percent of them (broadband users) are college graduates, compared with 35 percent of dial-up users. Broadband users skew white, with half as many blacks and Hispanics accessing via high-speed connections as through dial-up. Broadbanders are also tech-savvy and experienced – twice as likely to be on the Internet for six years or more (42 percent, versus 20 percent of dial-up users). A January 2003 Nielsen//NetRatings study shows that narrowband skews slightly female (53 percent), while broadband skews slightly male (52 percent).
Broadbanders spend more time – a lot more time – online than their dial-up counterparts. According to a February 2003 Arbitron/Edison Media Research study, the average broadband user spends 13 hours online per week, compared with 8 hours for people with dial-up connections
COPYRIGHT 2003 Copyright by Media Central Inc., A PRIMEDIA Company. All rights reserved.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Gale Group

Readership

Johnnygoodtimes.com readership continues to grow at a rapid pace.

Search Engine Results

JohnnyGoodtimes.com scores well with Google.

Search Term	Google Result
Johnny Goodtimes	Number 1
Philadelphia quizzo	1
Quizzo	3
Monday quizzo	6
Tuesday quizzo	3
Wednesday quizzo	2
Thursday quizzo	2

 

Doctors yesterday decided to amputate the head of Las Vegas performer Roy Horn after he was attacked by a white tiger on stage in Las Vegas friday night. But horrified fans of the Siegfried and Roy team were heartened a few hours later when Siegfried told reporters that the show would go on-with Roy!

“Roy can’t speak now that he no longer has a mouth, but he was able to write me a message saying that he was coming back to the stage as soon as his wounds healed. Head or no head, the show must go on!” said a chipper Siegfried.

The delicate surgery, in which doctors moved the brain to the ribcage near the heart before lopping off the head, was headed by surgeon Spanky Alvarez.

“Things went remarkably well. With modern scientific advancement, we don’t think Roy will be headless forever. Hopefully, within two years, Roy will receive a prosthetic head. If that doesn’t work out, however,we are keeping his current head frozen at Alcor. They’ve done such a nice job with Ted Williams head, we know they’ll take good care of Roy’s,” said the head doctor.

The tiger that attacked Roy, named Montressor, did not comment on this latest development. He can’t. He’s a tiger, thus the make up of his vocal cords make the English language impossible to speak. (He does speak a few words of Spanish).

The Johnny Goodtimes Ethics Committee was founded in 1877 by Rutherford B. Hayes in an attempt to curb cheating at “America’s Pasttime, Quizzo”. The Committee soon came to the aid of Chester A. Goodtimes, who was having problems with mavericks shooting at him when they disagreed with answers. The Committee made firing at Chester a crime punishable by a seven point score deduction, and the gunfire quickly ceased. Several members of the Committee are over 175 years old, and they do not like to be called on by Johnny. When they are called on, their judgement is usually swift and severe. Therefore, Johnny asks that you please not lie, cheat, steal, discharge a firearm or make out with anyone (besides him*) while you are playing the Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo Spectacular. Thank you.

*Ladies only, please.
Johnny Goodtimes Ethics Committee (from L to R: Steve Perry, Gervase, Mickey Morandini, Gavrilo Princip, Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, and Cousin Oliver)