A few final notes

Alright, first of all, I do have a few sponsors lined up for Quizzo Bowl IV. (Sadly, Applebee’s does not have money in the budget to help out.) I’d love to get more before I send out my press release early next week. Please e-mail me if you are at all interested. Sponsorship is extremely reasonable and this event is gonna be get a lot of attention in the coming month, especially when I let people know who the band is. Today I was able to finalize the halftime entertainer, who I am quite excited about. There are going to be plenty of announcements on the website starting next week.

I am debating on whether to use the ring as a stage. Obviously, I would love to but it does cost $1,000 extra for them to put it up and break it down. I’d have to raise the price (which, thanks to sponsorship and me being a great guy, is going to be very reasonable) $5 to cover it. If I raise ticket prices, I will also raise the prize money for first and second. Let me know what you think below. Have a great weekend gang!

The Scoreboard, brought to you by Titanic 2

O’NEALS

Archie Hamburger’s Blowback Chicken Army 100
Young, the Old, and the Restless 97
We Got Nothin’ 92
Team Fruit Cup 90
Dorksided 84

BARDS

Western Omelette 106
Sofa Kingdom 104
Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 98
Last NIght I Had a Dream 83
MAD Cobra 77

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

Sweep the Leg, Johnny 104
The Jams 100
Jackalope 94
Buy My Mom Says I’m Cool 81
Philly Hardcore 79

BLACK SHEEP

Eschaton 110
Fine Young Cannibals 91
The Dalembert Report 91
Hot Karl and the Mints 89
Catdog 86

GOOD DOG

Fort Awesome 99
The Underachievers 74
The Human Fund 62
Uh Hi Sarah 56
Ramrod 55

BARDS

Western Omelette 115
Sofa Kingdom 103
Hurtin Bombs 100
Lee Carvello 91
Bizarre Gardening Accident 81

Week in Review

Can you smell what the Omelette is cookin’? The story this week was without a doubt the play of the Western Omelette, who pulled off the unprecedented feat of two perfect final rounds in the same week, enabling them to knock off the Kingdom at the Bards both times.

But that was not the only interesting development this week, as we saw one team get quite close to a bounty, Smackdown’s team start to warm up for Quizzo Bowl, and the Jams go down in a squeaker.

At O’Neals, Smackdown (who, sadly, still has a boyfriend. Sorry Bob T.), Trivia Art, D-Mac, et al. (named Archie Hamburgers Blowback Chicken Army) edged the Young, the Old, and the Restless, 100-97, and ended We Got Nothin’s three week run.

Sweep the Leg, Johnny held on to edge the Jams at the Rendezvous. The Jams became the 2nd team to have a 3 game winning streak ended.

At the Sheep, Eschaton (aka Duane’s Minions) cruised to an easy victory, ending the two week run of the Dalembert Report.

The team closest to a bounty? Fort Awesome at the Good Dog. They held a comfortable lead from wire to wire, and cruised to a 99-74 win over The Underachievers. If they win next week, it will result in the first ever bounty bowl at the Good Dog.

English as She is Spoke

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Just came across this and thought you guys might enjoy it. The book was English as She is Spoke, and it was written by a guy named Pedro Carolino in the 19th century. The author didn’t speak English, or have a Portuguese-English dictionary, but he did have a Portuguese-French dictionary and a French-English dictionary, so he just put 2 and 2 together. Needless to say, the results were astounding, and Pedro Carolino is basically the Ed Wood of the dictionary world. Of this book, Mark Twain said, “Nobody can add to the absurdity of this book, nobody can imitate it successfully, nobody can hope to produce its fellow; it is perfect.” Here are a few “idiotisms”, as they were called in the book.

In the country of blinds, the one eyed man are kings.
Few, few the bird make her nest.
Nothing some money, nothing of Swiss.
A horse bared don’t look him the tooth.
To craunch the marmoset.
The stone as roll not heap up not foam.
Keep the chestnut of the fire with the cat foot.
Burn the politeness.
Of the hand to mouth, one lose often the soup.

It also provided some good translations of various sentences. First is the Portuguese, followed by the correct translation (in italics), followed by the English as She Is Spoke translation.)
Zombo deles; o meu navio é armado em guerra, tenho equipagem vigilante e animosa; e as munições não me faltam.
I laugh at them; my ship is armed for war; I have an alert and courageous crew, and I have plenty of ammunition.
ES: I jest of them; my vessel is armed in man of war, i have a vigilant and courageous equipage, and the ammunitions don’t want me its.

Este lago parece-me bem piscoso. Vamos pescar para nos divertirmos.
This lake looks full of fish to me. Let’s have some fun fishing.
ES: That pond it seems me many multiplied of fishes. Let us amuse rather to the fishing.

Vamos mais depressa. Nunca vi pior besta. Não quer andar, nem para diante, nem para trás.
Let’s go faster. I never saw a worse animal. It doesn’t want to go either forward or backward.
ES: Go us more fast never i was seen a so much bad beast; she will not nor to bring forward neither put back.

Barriga cheia, cara alegre.
A full stomach makes for a content face.
ES: After the paunch comes the dance.
RELATED: More info on English as She Is Spoke.

Let’s Settle This the Old Fashioned Way

There is only one way to settle the ongoing feud between Palestra Jon and Bob T.: a dance marathon.

Cuban Cliff’s Notes

Cuba’s been in the news a lot lately, due to the fact that Fidel is stepping down. Here’s a few things you might wanna know about the place:

It was the first island discovered by Columbus. He immediately enslaved and killed most of the indiginous population (especially the ones who resisted Christianity), and within a century almost all of the native population had been destroyed by the Spanish.
Cuba was a Spanish possession from 1511-1898.
In 1848, James Polk commissioned his ambassador to Spain to offer them $100 million for the island, but the Spaniards refused the offer.
Cuba’s national hero is a poet named Jose Marti, who was a leader of the movement which resulted in Cuba’s independence in 1898.
Remember the Maine! To Hell With Spain! The sinking of the USS Maine is one of the original conspiracy theories. Donspiracist, can you clear this up for us?
An American, Charles Magoon, was appointed of governor of Cuba and retained his position as leader of the supposedly independent nation three years (1906-1908).
Fulgencio Batista was running a distant third in the 1952 elections when he decided to just say the hell with it and staged a coup, becoming leader by force.
In 1956, hundreds of Cuban officers attempted a coup against Batista. It failed, but the result was that the army was weak when Castro staged his coup a couple of years later.
As is depicted in Godfather 2, there were a lot of casinoes in Cuba before the Revolution, almost all of them owned by the US Mob.
Thousands of Batista backers were executed by Castro following the coup.
Most cars in Cuba are US 1950s models, which are called yank tanks. They have usually been modified to accept replacement engines.
The Mariel boatlift, depicted in Scarface, was a diabolically sharp maneuver by Castro in 1980 to rid his country of criminals and malcontents.
The Cuban government still regularly imprisons journalists who question the direction of the country.
Cuba has one of the highest literacy rates in the world, as 99.8 of it’s people are literate.
According the WHO, Cuba and Canada have the lowest infant mortality rates in the Americas. Life expectancy in Cuba is similar to that in the US. Doctors in Cuba make $15 a month.

William Buckley quotes and writings

Even if one takes every reefer madness allegation of the prohibitionists at face value, marijuana prohibition has done far more harm to far more people than marijuana ever could.
Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.
The central question that emerges…is whether the White community in the South is entitled to take such measures as are necessary to prevail, politically and culturally, in areas where it does not predominate numerically? The sobering answer is Yes—the White community is so entitled because, for the time being, it is the advanced race.
Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.
I’d rather entrust the government of the United States to the first 400 people listed in the Boston telephone directory than to the faculty of Harvard University.
(Of George W. Bush): If you had a European prime minister who experienced what we’ve experienced, it would be expected that he would retire or resign.
A Conservative is a fellow who is standing athwart history yelling “Stop!”
I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said.

Toughest questions from last week

Joaquim Phoenix played Commodus in Gladiator. True or False: Commodus was an actual Roman emperor who fought in gladiatorial events.
What is Daisy’s last name in the Great Gatsby?
This Philadelphia Eagle led the team to two championships and his #15 is retired by the organization.
Stanford White designed the 2nd incarnation of this famous edifice, then was shot and killed in it’s rooftop garden.
Who was the only 20th century president to not get a college degree?
Which of these players scored the most points while they were a member of the 76ers?
a) Charles Barkley b) Allen Iverson c) Julius Erving d) Wilt Chamberlain
This street in San Francisco, which share a name with a Philly street,is known as the crookedest street in the world.
Formerly known as the Bank of America Tower, the Columbia Center, a 967 foot tall buiding made of granite, is what cities tallest building?
The first one of these books was issued in February of 1878.
Under what president did John Foster Dulles serve as Secretary of State?

Continue reading “Toughest questions from last week” →

Sponsors for Quizzo Bowl IV

Off to the dentist yet again. I’ll be back in a couple of hours. In the meantime, quick note: I have two sponsors so far for Quizzo Bowl IV, which I’ll be telling y’all about soon. If your company would like to be a sponsor (It’s not expensive and it’s gonna get a lot of exposure), please get a hold of me ASAP. I am going to try to get the sponsorships lined up by the end of the week, so I can put out the press release next week.

Automatons Thrown into Disarray!

Starbucks is going to close for three hours today. If this upsets you, I hear that there are some great rental properties in Manayunk. You should look into them. Oh, and Applebee’s now has karaoke on Thursdays. Just thought you might be interested. Also, a quick reminder: Starbucks has been named Philly’s Best Coffee by Philly Style Mag for two years running. As for my picks: I like Beauty Shop Cafe at 20th and Fitzwater, La Colombe at 19th and Walnut, Mugshots at 21st and Fairmount, and La Va at 21st and South.