When the Phillies blew it in the final week of the regular season, I wasn’t sure who I was gonna root for in the post season. I mean, it’s always fun to root against the Yankees and against the Mets. But the problem is that you almost kind of want them to advance so that you can keep rooting against them. But I got caught up in Detroit’s post season chase when I saw the much maligned Kenny Rogers shut down one of the most potent lineups in baseball history. I cheered for him again as he steamrolled the A’s. And I prepared to cheer again last night. But then baseball fans such as me took another one on the chin. Much like the 1998 home run chase, this too good to be true story of redemption for a 41 year old pitcher was, well, too good to be true. Kenny Rogers is no different than Barry Bonds, and so I’m switching sides. From here on out, I’ll be rooting for St. Louis. I never liked Detroit anyway. It’s hookers are too mean.
Month: October 2006
Men Who Look Like Kenny Rogers
I was getting ready to post a few lines about the Kenny Rogers pine tar incident, so I decided to do a little research on Tigers pitcher Kenny Rogers. Of course, he’s not the first Kenny Rogers to come up when you search that name. But the 2nd thing to come up is the most interesting. It’s the Men Who Look Like Kenny Rogers page, where people take photos of men that they think look like Kenny Rogers (the singer) and post them on this website.
Bonus Fun Fact: Kenny Rogers Greatest Hits was the first album I ever owned. Yes, I’m old enough to have owned records in a non-ironic way.
Question of the Week
What country was Gil Perez allegedly teleported to from the Phillipines on October 24, 1593?
Around the horn
-A 14 year old learned a valuable lesson this past week when she thought she could threaten Bush on Myspace.
-Am I the only one who kind of hopes that this story about dude jumping off the Whitman was like a Fugitive thing where he dove off the bridge and then remained underwater for a few minutes and then came up on the Philly shore and tried to find the real killer? That would be awesome.
-Life’s not easy for us beautiful people. It’s hard to get things done when people are constantly trying to pick us up. Well, one of my fellow prisoners of beauty decided to do something about it-make herself ugly thru plastic surgery.
-Oh, and one thing we learned last week that I forgot to mention: Wawa’s orange flavored milk is kind of gross.
Shakespeare game
A’ight, I’m posting pictures of winners. Finally. So I’m gonna post a Shakespeare line, and you post in the comments section which play it’s from. One guess per person. No cheating!
Live from the Eastern Shore of Virginia!
Hey gang, I know I haven’t posted the winners from last week yet. Well, I’m on a phone line here in the boondocks, so I’m gonna post winners when I get back to the big city this afternoon.
Ah, kickin’ it at home. And you know what that means. No showering or changing clothes all weekend. This is the life! All of my friends now have babies. I honestly hung out with like 7 children 2 or younger this weekend. It was weird.
My brother in law has direct ticket, so I saw the latest disaster on the gridiron yesterday. I can’t wait to hear the idiots on sports talk this week who think that Jeff Garcia should be our starting QB and that we need to fire Andy. Anyways, there’s no Movie Monday tonight, but we’ll be back in action manana.
The Week in Review
I’m not sure if the week can start on Saturday, but if so, then the week started with my confrontation with my ex at the Rock Paper Scissors Championship. But the Midnight Rider took care of her for me. We then move to Monday, when controversy reigned supreme at O’Neals. The team that always changes its name seemed to have the match under control, but faltered on the question, “What derisive nickname did Alaska acquire when the Secretary of State pushed for its purchase in 1867?” The correct answer was Seward’s Folly. They wrote Suder’s Folly. It was close to phonetically correct, but…For the first time ever, I put it to a vote. The vast majority of the crowd thoought that I shouldn’t accept it. It cost the name changers the game, as they fell to the Embarrasments, 94-93. It was at that time that the Break up the Champs portion of the week began, with interesting results.
Mets lose! Mets lose!
Sorry, just had to get that out of my system. This World Series final is rather intriguing for the Phils, because they don’t have a third baseman, and this series will feature two former Phils who can ably handle the hot corner and who bat about .100 points high than Nunez. Yeah, the Cards may have Rolen the Tigers may have Polanco, but we’ve got the rights to Bud Smith and a relief pitcher rotting in a Venezuelan jail (above). We’ll also achieve total consciousness shortly before we die, so we’ve got that going for us.
Of course, this series also features managing genius Jim Leyland, who the Phils could’ve had, but decided against because he smokes and first thing he wanted to do as manager was get rid of Pat Burrell. What? Get rid of Pat Burrell? Is he crazy? Pat Burrell is better than anyone in baseball at watching a third strike pass by. How can you let that go? (Wonder who Joe Girardi is going to lead to the playoffs next year while we miss it by a game as our manager blows ten games single handedly.) But I’m not bitter.
If Johnny Knoxville ever invented a product…
…it would probably be something like this. Of course, if you are going to test a protective cup, it’s important that you recruit a hot blond from the local high school to load up the pitching machine. Thanks to Phil for sending this in. If you see some something crazy online, holla atcha boy.
This baseball poll pisses me off
Now, I know that polls are totally worthless and stupid, but I still want to take a minute to be pissed off at this one. The number one problem people had with baseball was the player’s salaries. What? I still have no idea why people hate to see athletes make what the market can bear. I really can’t. It would be different if anybody could hit a 98 mph fastball and these guys got picked out of a hat. It’s not. These are some of the most amazing human specimens on earth and thousands of people are happy to pay to watch them every night. Hey, if 35,000 people played quizzo every night, I’d expect to make $3 million a year too. Why doesn’t anyone think the owners make too much? Apparently it’s OK for old white guys to make a fortune off of baseball, but not OK for young people from a variety of backgrounds to make money off of it? I think that people are just jealous of young people with money, and they’re easy to lash out against. It’s just good old fashioned playa-hating, pure and simple.