Now we at johnnygoodtimes.com are always trying to promote unity among people, and try to let people know that our individual beliefs are part of what make us special. No group of people should be discriminated against because of what they believe. Nobody! Except the Raelians. They are a bunch of f****** nutjobs. It was on this day, 32 years ago that a guy named Claude claimed that he met a 25,000 year old alien in the crater of a volcano. What Claude was doing at the volcano is anyone’s guess. This 25,000 year old alien wants to comeback to earth, but only if he’s invited (you know how sensitive aliens get when they are that old.) So the Raelians want to build an embassy to welcome the alien to earth

The Raelians are big fans of cloning, which they think will enable them to live forever, by storing people’s memories in computer chips and then transferring them from one clone to the next as time goes on.

There are rumors that the Raelians use sex as a recruitment tool, though sadly, I have never been recruited, so I can’t confirm nor deny those reports. This article talks more about these wild recruitment parties.

More importantly, there are some hot chicks on the testimonial section of the official website. And they’re insane. Also, click on “USA” below the pics to read some kick ass testimonials, such as “Infinity becomes aware of itself through the consciousness of the human being” and “Spread our wings to the harmony of Infinity… to celebrate our dreams!” My wings are spread, and I’m ready to celebrate!

Not since K-Fed dropped Y’all Ain’t Ready have I been this proud to be a white boy. Check out this cracker’s dunking abilities!
Why these Pavarotti’s always followin’ me? Oh, and vote in the new poll.

So I’m watching Home Makeover last night, just so I could feel blubbery and guilty about how good my life is. There are these kids who have some disease that makes it so they can’t be exposed to sunlight at all, and the cast is gonna fly them to some really cool location. But the kids don’t know where they’re going. So one of these kids who can’t be exposed to sunlight asks the head guy, “Where are we going?” And the guy says, “Philadelphia. I hear it’s really great this time of year.” Then he and the kid begin laughing, because they both know that they are going somewhere a HELL OF A LOT COOLER THAN PHILADELPHIA. Sure enough, they all go to DisneyWorld, which the good people at Disney have opened up at night time, and I cry like a freaking baby through the whole segment. But still, I was pissed. Come on, dude. Dayton or Des Moines would have been funny. But Philly? That’s just cold.

The big man turns 82 today. Of course, not everyone’s a fan. Including just about every woman who has ever worked with him. They’re all liars! Liars, I say! Here’s an interview with the smooth operator a couple of years ago.

One of everyone’s favorite Christmas films is a Christmas Story. First off, here is a neat history of how Porky’s made the movie possible. It also includes a Where are they now segment. The kid who got his tongue stuck to a pole became an actor in x-rated films (SFW)! Here is a trailer for a similar film, a Christmas Gory. Thanks to Jenn for sending it in. And here is a 30 second recreation of the film by bunnies.

This is pretty good. Lost Boys star and former Julia Roberts boy toy Jaason patric played quizzo in LA a few nights ago-and apparently pissed off everybody else who was playing. Thanks, Phil, for the link. If you got any good stuff, send it to johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com.

I forgot to post this a few days ago when I was posting that Howard Zinn stuff. It’s an interview with Bill Moyers a few months before the war began. I particularly like this thought: If we go to war, we will kill thousands, tens of thousands, we don’t know how many people. A hundred thousand? We will kill huge numbers of people. And who will we kill? We will kill the victims of Saddam Hussein. If we go to war against Iraq, we are killing the victims of the tyrant. That to me creates a moral equation which is intolerable. Which raises the ugly question: If Hussein is on trial for being responsible for the massacre of 140 innocent Iraqui civilians, should George Bush be held accountable for the massacre of over 25,000 innocent Iraqui citizens?

On a different, but still controversial note, John Smallwood wrote a really good piece about McNabb’s blackness yesterday. It was in response to this write up by the president of the Philly NAACP blasting McNabb.

Going to be announced in just a few short moments. Wanna thank everybody who sent in their rant. I have come to a conclusion, aided by my two esteemed judges who shall remain nameless to protect their identities. OK, so one of them was Trivia Art. Well, we contemplated and argued and came up with what we thought were the best three. The 3rd place one is a thinly veiled assault at me, since I use Tabasco on everything I eat. It comes via the Prez. The 2nd place one was sent in by Hope. She gets the $15 gift certificate to Good Dog. And the first place one was sent in by…quick announcement, the Blue Method is playing at the Pontiac tonight at 10. I hear they rock. Seriously. Oh, and the winner was Rob. He gets the aquarium tix. Click on continue to read the rants.

Continue reading “And the Winner of the Rant Contest Is…” →

…Will be announced tomorrow. I gotta do laundry at my spot. The only sports team that I liked when I was a kid and have remained a fan of are the Miami Dolphins, and the guy that runs this spot is a big Dolphins fan, too (I didn’t hop on the Philly sports wagon until I moved here a little over four years ago). After the Fins comeback win on Sunday, we’ll have a lot to talk about.