The Troy McClures were a handful on Monday at Doc Watson’s Pub, but father figure Dick Van Patten was able to get the team to buckle down in round four and run away with an 82-68 victory. “It was nice to have Dick there,” said team captain Dr. Chuckie Needlebump. “I’m just sorry that Adam Rich (Nicholas) couldn’t make it.”

Frank Clement’s North pulled away in round four at Centre Square Bar and Grille at Bedford Falls on Tuesday, and cruised to a victory over Dewey Cheatum and Howe. The team, which has been ravaged by injuries in the past few months, was finally able to get their whole squad on the field.

Professor Flapjack defeated the much maligned Team Hater, 100-89 on Monday at Doc Watson’s. The articles on the website kind of suck this week, but that’s because I’ve hit the sauce pretty heavily over the holidays. I really need to pull it together.

The Nation of Quizlam was able to hold off the competition at Nick’s on Wednesday, then asked that their picture not be doctored, so as not to take away from their lovely faces. This same squad also complained about their photo with N.W.A. a couple of weeks ago. Anyone who has a message for this narcissistic group of also-rans and ne’er-do-wellers, please feel free to click on “comments” at the bottom of this article. In more exciting news, Santa made a brief appearance, keeping an eye on his ho-ho-hos. (Photo below)

The Four Letter Words, a collection of some of the most brilliant legal minds in the city, got an added boost on Tuesday with the addition of Johnny Cochran, who led them to a victory over Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe, 98-90. Cochran was overjoyed after the win. “I thought this win was splendiferous for the amalgamation of conglomerates we have assembelized. The victory was not only monumentous, it was consequentially extemperaneous.” The others agreed.

Special Ed Ed pulled off one of the greatest comebacks in Quizzo history on Monday night at Doc Watson’s, overcoming a fourteen point deficit in the final round to move past Risky Quizness. Another way of putting that, of course, is that Risky Quizness pulled off one of the greatest chokes in Quizzo history. Special Ed Ed won a squeaker, 80-79. The Troy McClures had their worst performance ever, finishing a disappointing fourth.

Controversy erupted, as it seems to every week, after last nights Quizzo at Nick’s Roast Beef. In overtime, the Plaster of Paris Hilton won second place (Worth $25) when one of their team members was able to spell Baryshnikov correctly. However, it was discovered early this morning after a thorough investigation that the man who spelled the great dancer’s name correctly was none other than the world renowned Krazylegs Kruschev, who danced with Mikhail at the Russian School of Ballet from 1969-1973! The picture below, taken in 1972, clearly proves it! The Johnny Goodtimes Ethical Committee is looking into any possible improprieties. A spokesman for third place finisher Coochie Kream said that the team was “piping mad.”