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The Staff was able to hold off the Nation of Quizlam on Wednesday night at Nick’s Roast Beef. Club 501 finished third. Usually, Nick’s offers a $50 gift certificate for the winner. But in an effort to up the ante even further, Johnny has announced that next week’s winner will go home with a brand new car!**
**This is a lie.
Who was QB the last time the Eagles won an NFL championship?
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A powerful blizzard blew into Nick’s Roast Beef on Wednesday night, making conditions miserable for the players. “I could barely see my paper,” said Jacques Juicetoe of the second place Flying Monkeys. But Mr. Wahn was able to fight through the miserable conditions and rack up 98 points. “They should really think about putting a retractable dome on this place,” said Chase Halliburton of the Mr. Wahn squad. “I mean my cheese fries were delicious as always, but all that snow made them a little soggy.”
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The Slow Gin Quiz was able to knock off Always a Quizzo Bridesmaid with a steady if unspectacular 79-72 win. The team, which is rather accustomed to finishing last, got off to a quick lead and held on in round four. There is a time change this coming week: Watson’s will begin at 8:15 p.m. For teams that might be more clever than smart: Doc Watson’s is the only Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo that offers a gift certificate for best team name.
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Johnny’s fortunes took a quick turn for the worse on New Year’s Day, only moments after meeting the cute babes pictured above. After going outside this bar (which we won’t name, but will tell you has been in business for over 140 years) to check his voicemail, the bouncers (shown below) told him that he couldn’t go back in. Despite pleas of “Do you know who I am?” the bouncers held their ground, and now Johnny hopes they are both killed by Al-Quaeda. “That would be great,” said the self-proclaimed King of Quizzo. “My New Years Resolution is to spearhead an effort to get this bar (which I won’t name) closed down. 140+ years is long enough.”
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Us Again was able to sweep past the field at Nick’s Roast Beef on Wednesday, which earned them a sweeping endorsement from Pete Rose. “Hey, these guys are winners. Will they repeat next week? Well, let’s just say that’s where I’ve got my money.”
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The Broad Street Bullies were able to pull off another victory on Tuesday by answering the weekly double question correctly and squeak past the Jams. I’m not sure what place the girls below finished but hey, let’s face it, who the hell cares. When they play, we all win.
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Rochelle Rochelle was able to leave Aiken for Clay in the dust in Round number Four and take the cake at Doc Watson’s on Monday. Aiken for Clay left their namesake disappointed. “I guess we’re losers, just like Clay,” said Randolph Hernmeister of the Aikens. “It was nice of Clay to come and support us,” said team member Chelsea Clockwise, “And I felt bad that the owner of the bar made him watch from outdoors, on account of Clay being such a loser.”
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Oblivia Dehaviland was able to hold on and win a squeaker at the Centre Square Bar and Grille. After the game, Johnny was quoted as saying, “I never doubted this team’s mental capabilities, but after naming the team after a 1940’s supporting actress, I do have some questions about their sexuality. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
