Tonight’s contestant at Doc Watson’s for the “Be the Next Johnny Goodtimes Contest” will be Jenny Goodtimes (no relation). Here is her answer to the question, “Why should you be the next Johnny Goodtimes?”
Top Nine Reasons to Hire Jenny “Goodtimes” Oliver
9. Two words: Cleavage.
8. I have friends, and they will attend.
7. I’m not doing anything else on Monday nights. Ever.
6. I have a hearing problem, so I talk loud.
5. Ern doesn’t intimidate me.
4. The Dark Horse is the only bar left that I’m still allowed into.
3. It’s time for Philadelphia to have a female Quizzo Master.
2. I ain’t too proud to beg.
1. All my life I’ve been answering questions: “Can I bum a cigarette?” “Which aisle has the Marshmallow Fluff?” “Where’s my f****** money?” “Aren’t you Margo Kidder?” – Now it’s time for me to do the asking.
Question of the week
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Cinco de Mayo is the celebration of the Mexican forces of Ignatio Zaragoza over the expeditionary forces of what country in 1862?
Let’s send out some Happy Birthdays!
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Just wanna send out a quick happy b-day to Melissa (middle of photo), who played at Black Sheep last night, and to Saddam Hussein, former totalitarian leader of Iraq! In honor of their b-days, why don’t we relive all the fun we had with Paper Rock Saddam!
Meet the Contestants!
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Well gang, you’re going to be seeing several characters in the next few weeks as they begin their quest to be the next Johnny Goodtimes. Here is an exclusive, inside look at the contestants!
Philly loses sports legend
Johnny Sample passed away on Tuesday at a hospital in Philadelphia. He was a hard hitting defensive back on several NFL teams in the 50’s and 60’s, and played in two of the most famous games ever: the 1958 sudden death game between the Giants and the Colts and Super Bowl III. He decided to make his home in Philadelphia after he retired from football. He also happened to be born just a few miles away from me on Virginia’s Eastern Shore. I interviewed him on the sports radio program I hosted a couple of years ago. Here are some highlights from an interesting interview with a guy that played with both Johnny Unitas and Joe Namath.
Three Ball Tracy Celebrates Twinkies 75th anniversary
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Three Ball Tracy edged out the y-100 Revolutionary Army at the Good Doctor’s on Monday night, and attributed the win to Twinkies. “In order to celebrate the 75th anniversary of the Twinkie, I’ve eaten nothing but Twinkies for the past week,” said Payday Brickowski. “Fried Twinkies, boiled Twinkies, Twinkie soup, you name it, I’ve had it. And I think it really paid off. I felt focused and at least a little bit smarter than usual. I highly encourage small children to eat nothing but Twinkies for a week and see how they feel.” Brickowski, who said that he prayed for a victory on Sunday at Twinkiehenge (below), then encouraged everyone to check out the following website, in which various scientific experiments were performed on Twinkies.
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Can somebody work for me tonight?
Man, I wanna go to the Prince and see this thing about whether or not Abe Lincoln was gay. Seriously, it looks pretty interesting. Here’s some more info on Honest Abe’s swinging bachelorhood.
Wow!
The Inky has a new column that certainly has me excited. It’s a recap of American Idol! There’s a niche that certainly hasn’t been oversaturated! Man, way to get creative, guys! It’s so hard to find info on this cult hit. Thanks for your help! Hey, how about a weekly column chronicling the latest in the Pitt-Aniston relationship? That would be awesome!
Question of the week (Last weeks stories, mind reading below)
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Don’t know if you saw this, but a Canadian woman forgot the lines to the “Star Spangled banner”, then slipped on the ice (might take a few seconds to load). Before you laugh, let’s find out if you know the words to her national anthem. What is the final line of O Canada (in English)? By the way, here’s another flubbed SSB, the one that Mo Cheeks stepped in on. Mo Cheeks rules.
It’s On!
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The following e-mail went out this morning to all of the contestants in the “Be the Next Johnny Goodtimes” Contest:
Thanks for signing up for the “Be the Next Johnny Goodtimes” contest! Your first assignment is simple. Give me a short (one paragraph) bio about yourself and a photo that I can post on the site. Also, write me another paragraph that explains why you should be the next Johnny Goodtimes. This is due by Wednesday. Your second assignment is to come up with a ten question wild card round. Please have that done by Friday. Anyone who does not have the asssignments done on time will be eliminated from the contest. Thank you, and I look forward to hearing from all of you, as does the rest of America.