Well gang, you’re going to be seeing several characters in the next few weeks as they begin their quest to be the next Johnny Goodtimes. Here is an exclusive, inside look at the contestants!
Contestant #1 Krystyna
Krystyna Wiercioch is a Californian native who has
fallen in love with the conundrum that is
Philadelphia. She has a Bachelor of Arts degree in
Mathematics and Dance, and Master’s degrees in
Education and Dance Education. What does she do with
all this education? She holds an administrative position for pennies and waitresses at Philly’s oldest pub, McGillin’s Olde Ale
House. The rest of her time is directing and
choreographing her own dance work as well as
supporting other local artists. Look for The Kitchen
at this year’s Fringe Festival! She is addicted to
crossword puzzles, Pilate’s, and recently is investing
her time into performing installments of different
types of suicides. She also volunteers her gardening
skills at Bartram’s Garden and loves to hike through
Fairmount Park in the summer. Her favorite places to
visit is Krakow, Poland and Paris, France and her
deepest darkest dream is to visit Angor Wat in
Cambodia, inspired by a Geometry research project on
mandalas. Recently she subsided her drinking habit
and has encouraged a personal intervention regarding
her secret love of karaoke.
Contestant #2 Dan
Dan Pohlig lives and works in Philadelphia. Okay, so just lives. Born on the mean streets of Roxborough and raised on the meaner streets of Delaware County, Dan returned to Philadelphia after 5 years warping, uh, ahem, shaping young minds as a teacher in Chester County and found the streets to be decidedly less mean. Most recently a staff member on a couple of famously unsuccessful political campaigns, Dan now spends most of his time hunting that elusive job and otherwise woefully underutilizing a very expensive college education. He is also the subject of a forthcoming unauthorized autobiography (written by a personality of his known only as ?Bucky?) called Why Didn?t I Call That Girl Who Worked at Hooters?* For fun, Dan enjoys teaching his sister?s dog bad habits by feeding it from the table, placing it on the furniture and generally encouraging bad dog behavior.
*Parts of the book taking place after the present time are purely speculative.
Contestant #3: Jam Master Sean
Life on the streets is tough. That’s where I’m from.
The streets. Occasionally, when the streets get too
rough for even me, I come in off the streets to try
and live on the straight and narrow. Respectable
stuff like traveling with the fair, selling tabacco
pipes, or a career in shareholder services. Despite
varying amounts of success during my time away from
the streets, I always end up back where I belong. On
Once I met this guy Johnny. He gave me a dollar
because he liked my raps. Then he told me about Johnny
Goodtimes Amalgamated and I made up a rap on the spot
about that. Johnny gave me another dollar. I thought
“this cat is all right. I’d like to have money to
burn like him, especially if it meant letting him do
all the prep work”. Then I rapped about that and
Johnny gave me another dollar. Like I said, this cat
is all right.
Contestant #4: Jenny Goodtimes
Twinkie the Kid. Produce Identification Instructor. Hostess. Employee of the very first e-commerce site. Goldfish trainer. Proofreader.
I am ready to add Quizzo Master to my list. The facts: I am 31 years old. I lie about my age. I fell out of the second-story window of my home when I was six years old. Though I grew up in South Jersey, I’ve been living in Queen Village for eight years with my husband Jon and our two cats, Ham and Stella. Jon and I had the same last name before we were married, and we met online in 1995. One day, a few years ago, I found a stash of $2500 hidden in my ceiling. I
have been attending various Quizzo nights in Philadelphia for years. On Wednesday evenings, you can find me as part of the Trial By Cheese team at the Locust Rendezvous. Weekdays (and nights), I work for an ad agency, daydreaming about becoming a Quizzo Master for the Goodtimes(r) franchise.
Contestant #5 Pedro “Pierre” Mays
Pedro Mays, once a TV production assistant, came to Philadelphia from his native Boston in hopes of getting away from people with silly accents. Although this proved to be a failure, Pedro soon put down roots in the rich farmland of the Lower Delaware River Valley and apprenticed himself to a local blacksmith in hopes of learning a trade. After only a few months of excruciating work over a hot, sooty forge, he realized that he was not indentured to a blacksmith at all, but was in fact wiping down peepshow booths at the Show-and-Tel on Columbus Avenue. Disgusted, he quit that day, and enrolled in one of the two finest law schools in Philadelphia after being rejected from the other one. Although his parents and loan officer believe that Pedro?s goal in life is to become a high-salaried fancy law talking guy, he actually aspires to become the second sexiest and most dynamic quizmaster in Philadelphia after ?Survivor? reject and crybaby Gervase Peterson (Finn McCool?s, every Wednesday at 9).
Pedro Fun Fact!: Pedro can probably wiggle his ears better than anyone you know.
Pedro Fun Fact!: He and his friends are responsible for the newest and least useful student organization at their school, the Barbecue And Lawn Sports Society (BALSS).
Pedro Fun Fact!: When he was in high school, Pedro was in a band with ?Six Feet Under? star Lauren Ambrose and New York Times music writer Kelefeh Sanneh. The name of the band was Tender Veal Calf, and it totally opened for Ween one time. Pretty sweet.
Contestants #6 Edge and Moose (That’s Edge above)
Moose: We met as mild mannered 3rd graders attending Friends’ Central School (class of 2000). Edge approached me stating that he was my best friend from the year prior. I told him that he didn’t know me and asked that he kindly remove himself from my presence. We have been best friends ever since.
Edge is an aspiring musician who currently has an album on the way. I myself am an artist of many talents who is current both
writing and attempting to produce a play in the area. Together we are an unstoppable force storming the nation. This alliance could become as intelligent and impregnable as Iron Mike in the 80’s if teamed with the JGT force! First the Dark Horse……then The Black Sheep…then the world!
Contestant #7: The Kid
I am 38 and have with 2 beautiful girls. Sports play a large part in my
life. The Philadelphia Eagles determine what type of week
I am going to have during the football season, but I am really not that big
of a fan (ya right!) I enjoy meeting new people and learning how different
everyone looks at the world. My friends call me “The Kid” because I am
always happy and I love to enjoy life to its fullest! I love to watch
movies, play cards, and throw back some vodka red bulls! I have just
started to go back to the gym again, so I can look like I did when I was 21,
but with no hair!