Sorry it’s taken me this long to get to this story, because I’m a little behind the 8-ball after being in exotic Maryland all weekend. But being a responsible blogger means covering hot lesbian sex action stories, even if you are a day late. Here are pics of the two pom-pom wielders involved in the hot lesbian sex action. The two ladies have been fired from the team, and one of them faces a felony charge for decking a woman in the bathroom who was complaining about their hot lesbian sex action. Just so you ladies out there know, it is not illegal to perform hot lesbian sex action in a bathroom stall. In fact, I hear it is highly encouraged at a variety of bars that have trivia themed nights throughout the local area. Just letting you know.

BONUS COVERAGE! Here are some grainy pics of them after being arrested (including mugshots) in a story about how Penthouse wants to hire them.

Well, if you thought that homeland security wasn’t invading your privacy, think again. And if you thought that the good news about that terrible photo of you on your driver’s license was that it couldn’t be seen by anyone else, I’ve got some bad news. You (or anybody else) can now find your license (and personal information contained on your license!) online. Go to the right side of the page and enter your name, city, and state. After your photo comes up, you can click “Remove” to remove it from the public viewing database. I highly encourage you to do so.

In what town in Sussex County, Delaware does the annual Punkin Chunkin take place?

Citing irreconcilable differences, the Nassawadox Nasties, headed by GM Johnny Goodtimes, have suspended Terrell Owens for the remainder of the fantasy season. “It was not an easy decision. Let’s face it. Deion Branch (Terrell’s backup) does not put up nearly as good fantasy numbers as Terrell,” said a weary Goodtimes. “But TO was a cancer in the fantasy locker room.” In August, TO had insinuated that Nasty quarterback Micahel Vick wasn’t a winner, and that the team would have been better off with backup Brett Favre (a theory that has been disproven by Favre’s horrible fantasy numbers the past few few weeks since he took over for Vick.) The Nasties, who are 4-5 on the season, entered the year looking unstoppable on paper, with RB’s Holmes and Barber and WR’s Owens and Moss. But the QB position has been an issue, and Moss and Holmes have been fighting injuries all year. “This really blows the big one,” added the respected General Manager, who was almost killed by a flying pumpkin on Saturday (that story coming Tuesday.)

Congratulations to Peaches, who suggested the Romans or Greeks 50-50 round that I used this week. I’ll be using more of the rounds you guys suggested in the upcoming weeks.

Quizmaster and bon vivant Jonathon W. Goodtimes, IV was voted “Best Quizzo” by the readers of City Paper (OK, so it wasn’t the readers of City Paper, per se. It was you guys. Big ups!) for the 2nd straight year. No pomp, no circumstance, and no butterfly shirts like last year, but hey, a win’s a win. A couple of the bars where Johnny works also took top prize. O’Neals got “Best Place to Watch the Game”, Locust Rendezvous won for “Best Poker Night”, and the DIve won for “Best Bar You’ve Never Been To”. Want to thank everyone who voted for me! You guys rock. I’d also like to thank the Academy. And Reverend Sun Myung Moon.

What do Dr. J, David Robinson, Kobe Bryant, and Johnny Goodtimes have in common? After this past Friday, it can be said that they all played at the Palestra. It can also be said that Johnny’s long record of shameful hubris was never more painfully impertinent than in the previous two sentences. Regardless, Johnny hosted quizzo at the Palestra on Friday night, and the contest was won by a group of young Quakers called Monroe Community College, which is where this team of brash young upstarts went to hone their quizzo skills before moving to the big city. If you are thinking abotu a career in Public Safety, then I think I’ve got your college.

Trying to go away for a vacation this weekend. Here’s the problem. There is only one f****** place in North America where it won’t be raining this weekend. That’s right. Philaf******delphia! Maybe I’ll just vacation in Fishtown. I am dead serious. I have looked at every city, town and hamlet between Milwaukee and San Juan, Puerto Rico and it is going to rain in every single f****** one. Except here. In other news, yes, I did briefly entertain the notion of spending my weekend in Milwaukee.

Came across this strange entry on somebody’s blog. I will buy a beer for anyone who can make sense of it.

Will Bunch got all Johnny Goodtimes with us and asked us to pimp his plans to save the Daily News. Bunch wants to scrap all of DN’s various personalities and replace them with personalities.

Speaking of Johnny Goodtimes, we haven’t forgotten about our weekly raffle. The site is decked out in orange this week because of Halloween, which is sort of lame, Johnny. Really, JG, why make such a big deal over Halloween? Anyways, here’s this week’s raffle winner. And by raffle winner, we mean “post we randomly selected that just happens to be at the top of the page when we wrote this.” You’re behind the curtain, people.

At first, it seems like they are bitter about one of my my raffles. Then it seems like they are having their own raffle. Then, upon further review, it seems like they are trying to make two points about two completely different topics in the same paragraph. Apparently they missed that day in 2nd grade when basic paragraph structure was introduced. By the way, if the gifted writer that wrote it is reading this, it’s JGT, not JG. Sucka.

I brought up this point to a friend of mine a few days ago when I saw that Notre Dame had given Charlie Weis a contract extension after seven games. Ty Willingham was 7-0 in his first seven games at Notre Dame. Charlie Weis is 5-2. Willingham was fired after three years, and now Weiss is not only winning with the players that Willingham recruited, he just signed a ten year deal. Here’s a good article calling out Notre Dame on this.