Centralia in the News

I was alerted at the Rendezvous last night that Action News was going to be running some sort of exclusive action story about the town of Centralia. “What could have happenend in Centralia?” I wondered. A thousand questions ran through my mind. Did a house fall into the coal mine? Had they gotten the fire under control? Were the residents seceeding from the Union? Did I spell seceeding right? No, the story reported that the town is exceptionally dangerous.

Tom Rathbun/Department Of Environmental Protection: “What it’s burning is the coal that’s holding up the surface. And so, the ground can collapse suddenly, with no warning. And so people who are walking around up there are putting themselves in great danger.”

I was one of the brave, hardy souls who put my life in danger just a few months ago. But Johnny Goodtimes will stop at nothing to get the story and bring it to you people. Nothing, not even a dangerous walk over a ground that could collapse suddenly, bringing me to my fiery, fiery death.