A JGT quizzo regular is on the cover of today’s Daily News! Alec Campbell of Inflatable Haggis got totally screwed by the Philadelphia Parking Authority, and his angst got him the kind of publicity Johnny has been desperately seeking for years! Alec will be signing copies of today’s Daily News this Wednesday at the Black Sheep.

I can’t decide which is more embarrassing, the comments made by a local Chief Inspector Joseph Fox, or the fact that the Inquirer even quoted this f****** idiot. In response to the rash of murders in Philadelphia, what was Fox’s defense for the s*** job that he and his department do of solving the murders? Oh, it’s the victim’s fault. You see, the majority of the murders this past year were “bad guys on bad guys.” Apparently every person who has ever spent a day in jail is a terrible human being, and deserves to be murdered. I can’t f***** believe this jerk, a person who’s mind sees things in the same way as a 4 year old child, is in a position of power. That, to me, is just as much of an embarrasment to this city as the murder rate.

Don’t usually post on Sunday’s but I wanna give a shout out to Sam Cooke on his 75th birthday. Sam Cooke is my favorite soul singer of all time. I have never heard the song, “Change is Gonna Come” without getting a chill down my spine. If you have not heard much Sam Cooke I implore you to run out and pick up a greatest hits album. You’ll thank me for it.

The West Jersey Animal Shelter needs your help. I just saw this on another local blog, merecat. It appears that this no-kill shelter in Jersey is going to be shutting down temporarily to address some issues it was having with space. They need to find homes for 28 dogs or donations to help defray the costs of moving the dogs elsewhere. Spread the word!

The Phillies, who have made a number of exciting offseason moves recently, including a) getting rid of the best relief pitcher in baseball, and b) hiring a pitcher who loses two out of every three games even though he’s on steroids, further excited their fan base on friday by announcing that they will be raising ticket prices. “We really think that we have got baseball fans in this city whipped up into such a frenzy that it seems like the perfect time to raise ticket prices,” said Pat “Ed Wade” Gillick. “We plan on putting a sub-.500 team on the field this year, but we have a lot of exciting opponents who will be well worth the price of admission.”

Another day, another docket for Philadelphia’s favorite blueberry heir, as Anthony “Hold” Dimeo has decided to take Le Jardin restauranter Athmane Kabir to court following the disastrous New Year’s Eve party at Le Jardin. DiMeo, who first came to fame for suing Jessica Pressler of the Philadelphia Weekly, claims that “Mr. Kabir bit off more than he could chew.” During the melee that ensued during the disastrous party, a local artist named Antonio Puri had two paintings stolen. To learn more about the Delaware Valley’s first family of blueberries, click here.

Now, I am not by any stretch of the imagination a huge hockey fan, but I gotta admit, I was pretty floored when I saw this shot. Whether or not you like hockey, just check this out (and wait to see the replays). It’s pretty damn impressive.

Wow, those Russians sure don’t mince words. Here the leader of the Democratic Party in Russia gives his view of Condoleeza Rice, basically saying that she has no sense of reason because she’s never been married and has no children, thus making her insane. This is an amazingly hilarious psychological profile. Damn those Democrats! Thanks to Jam Master Shawn for sending this in.