The Week in Review

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A week after a wild week of shocking upsets, we had a week devoid of any. The planets realigned this week, starting with a narrow Dork Sided win at O’Neals. They edged the Young, the Old and the Restless, 84-80. It was Dork Sided’s 3rd win in the past 4 weeks.

Onto the Bards, where the Sofa Kingdom held off a formidable new foe, Sporkers of the World Unite, 98-89. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion finished with an 80.

The Jams (aka Paris will be riding a scooter) got a scare from one man team Steve O., who managed to tie them at 100, but fell in the extra frame, as the Jams were only one year off in knowing when A Man For All Seasons was released on Broadway (1961).

Parke Overall was unable to recapture the magic that had propelled them to a win the week before, finishing 5th. The Satan’s Minions finally got a win, their first since late April, and only their 2nd since February. The Eastern Vikings (aka River of Rocks) finished 2nd 94, and Duane’s World finished 3rd with 92.

MAGMA cruised at the Good Dog, knocking off Big Oil Praying For Hurricanes, 104-86. Steve O. picked up a teammate, but struggled in the final round and finished with 79.

Back to the Bards, where Sofa Kingdom did fall, but it wasn’t a particularly huge upset, as the team that knocked them off was the Hurtin’ Bombs, who won for the 2nd straight Thursday.

Other highlights of the week included:
The poll for best bar in Philly, won by…other. More discussion on this next week.
JGT asks for festival ideas and the best one he gets is Von Hayes Fest. Nice work, you creative geniuses.
JGT goes to the legendary Blue Horizon.

JGT Out of retirement

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Defending City League Champion Johnny Goodtimes shocked the local R Paper Scissors establishment when he announced on friday that he was coming out of retirement to take part in this years RPS Championship. Goodtimes, who earned a spot in the championship due to his shocking upset victory last year, announced his retirement after the competition, and stood by it for an entire year. But his competitive juices were flowing, and he decided to come back this year, “For the children.” Goodtimes, who is extremely unpopular on the RPS circuit, also threw in some shots at his competitors. In the message posted on the PBRRPS website, he told the other competitors, “The surest way of not being humiliated by a great champion like myself isstaying home tomorrow night, and crying your sorry self to sleep, knowing that you will never be a champion, and I will always be a champion.”

JGT will also be emceeing the event, but he will not be rapping.

Most popular websites

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This week, the speed round was name the most popular websites in the US, according to Alexa. They were, in order: Yahoo, Google, MySpace, MSN, Youtube, EBay, Facebook, craigslist, live.com, wikipedia, Amazon, AOL. Some popular guesses? ESPN (14th), CNN (15th), Mapquest (23rd), Weather (24th), NY Times (26th), and Orbitz (80th). Here is the top 100. (Oh, and in case you are wondering, I don’t know my rank in the US, but worldwide I’m holding steady at 791,814th. That’s right, people. I’m in the top million. Maybe we should have a festival dedicated to that.)

Hey Palestra Jon

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Don’t feel bad. Pat Burrell is a really tough out, and teams have struggled all year to hit Adam Eaton. Braw-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
RELATED: Phils sweep Mets, will now lose 2 of 3 to the Royals, the 2nd worst team in baseball. Come on, you know they will. Damn this team!

Happy Birthday Eddie

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Today would be the birthday of one of the most interesting players in baseball history, Eddie Gaedel. At 3’6″ tall, he was by far the shortest player ever to play in a major league game. St. Louis Brown owner Bill Veeck talks about the genesis of one of his wildest stunts ever.
“Eddie,” I said gently, “I’m going to be up on the roof with a high-powered rifle watching every move you make. If you so much as look as if you’re going to swing, I’m going to shoot you dead.”

Some Random Numbers

Some random Numbers from JohnnyGoodtimes.com.
2,874 – Number a pageviews in the last month for a post about the pornstar Houston sleeping with 620 men in a day.

3 – Number of visitors from Egypt. One of whom found the site by the search term sex + pizza.

80 – Number of people visiting JohnnyGoodtimes.com looking for Jam Master Sean.

86 – Number of times people asked JohnnyGoodtimes.com if Anton Ohno is gay.

Around the Horn

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-Wow, did you see Sarah SIlverman rip Paris Hilton last night? Priceless. Jack Nicholson enjoyed it. I think Paris should write a book and call it, “When Bad Things Happen to Bad People.”

-You guys heard of Gary Webb, the journalist who discovered that the CIA was putting crack in the inner cities who was then discredited and his career ruined by the liberal NY Times and Washington Post? Pretty fascinating stuff.

-Happy birthday Bjorn Borg! Just say his name 5 times and see if you’re smiling. You are.

-That TB guy is gonna be on Larry King Live tonight. He’s the biggest media whore since Bono. Geez, if I knew all it took to be famous was to contract deadly tuberculosis, I would have caught it years ago.

What kind of festival should we have?

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Well, Rubefest was almost a reality except for one thing: beer. I had a great space (outside at Jamaican Jerk Hut) but I couldn’t charge people to attend if I had booze (it’s a BYO), and I didn’t have enough time to get kegs donated. But I still think we could have a great event, maybe in July, with music, food, and booze, but we need something Phillycentric and/or absurd to celebrate. Any ideas?