The whole g** d*** world is going straight to hell. (Thanks to Todd for sending this in.)

Wait, I was wrong about marijuana not being deadly! I just came across this video. Could somebody please pass this along to Tim Furlong so he can let the parents know!

Not even cIose. Whenever some knucklehead talks about “deadly marijuana”, it is worth watching, and when he refers to himself as a “hip guy”, you know you’ve found something special. Don’t know if you guys saw this when I posted it a couple of days ago, but it’s important that you see it, because it is about the most astounding amount of mindless misinformation you will ever see in your lives. Also, I’d like to remind any parents out there: if your daughter is wearing a jelly bracelet, she’s a whore.

Here’s some of the best comments you guys have posted in the past week:

• Ron Paul chats with Ace Capone on Facebook all of the time. -Chip Chantry
• On a column about Ron Paul: I know you were limited to 5 items, Chip, but wasn’t he also the original voice for Cogswell from the Jetsons? -Steve O.
• A surprise visit from a tv legend: I see about 6 Ten Commandment violations in this comment chain. Repent or face an angry and judgmental God. -Kirk Cameron
• I’d rather have my testicles superglued to a cannonball and fired into a Hugs for Puppies vegan potluck than hear anything else about Jeff Garcia. -BMT
• In response to my Ol, Dirty, or Bastard Round: Next year the answers should all include Big, Baby or Jesus. -Anonymous

Today woulda been Dirt Dog’s 39th birthday, and to honor him this week, the Wild Card Round was Old, Dirty, or Bastard. All the answers contained the words Old, Dirty, or Bastard. Let’s see how you do. ANswers after the jump:

1. This company produced it’s first vehicle in 1897.
2. Sonic Youth released this album in 1992.
3. Stone Brewing Company is best known for this beer it produces.
4. This English King had two nicknames. One was the William the Conqueror. WHat was the other one?
5. What 1988 film was directed by Frank Oz?
6. This brand of alcoholic liquid refreshment is sometimes called “Eight Ball”?
7. You’d find Jerry Garcia and David Grisman in this 1970s all star bluegrass band?
8. In Spanish, this movie characters name is Gordo Cabron.
9. Robert Aldrich directed this 1967 classic.
10. Loretta Lynn will be performing here this Saturday night.

Continue reading “The Old, Dirty, or Bastard Round” →

Celeste Dinucci, who has played a few times with the Flexible Catheters (and was on a team that missed a perfect game by one 50/50 question), has made it into the Finals of the Tournament of Champions on Jeopardy. The finals are a two day affair, tonight and tomorrow night at 7 p.m., so tune in and root her on. Best of luck Celeste!!!

In a startling development today, president George Bush announced something that didn’t sound entirely idiotic. Opening up an express lane for planes over Thanksgiving in unused military airspace will help ease traffic congestion. It really doesn’t sound like a terrible idea. So I just wanted to pay credit where credit is due. After 6 years of non-stop abject failure, today George Bush did something that wasn’t incomprehensibly stupid. Bravo!

Just when I thought that there couldn’t be anything more amazing than the 4:20 news, I stumble onto this little gem. Apparently the Pennsylvania Groundhog wanted to get its picture taken with Paris Hilton last night. No problem, right? Wrong, apparently people have been trying to kill Paris by hiding dynamite in giant rodent heads or something, because they said that the groundhog’s head was a security risk and made him take it off. Then Paris refused to pose for a photo with the Headless groundhog, despite the fact that he had spent $55 on her toilet water. Had the groundhog, at that point, said, “That’s it, b****” and thrown her thru a window, it would have been the greatest thing to ever happen in world history (and yes, I am including fire.)

-Does everyone who works for NBC10 stick their freaking heads in a hole in the ground as soon as they go off the air and keep them there until the next show? I mean seriously, first we had Lori Wilson muffing a line, and now we’ve got this. Coming tomorrow night, NBC10 explores a new fad called “Rap Music”. (Here’s the absolutely priceless video. “I consider myself a relatively hip guy” is one of the greatest lines in tv history. Also,did he steal that “4:20 is the deadliest time of the day” line from “Reefer Madness”?This is, honestly, the greatest local news story I have ever seen.)

-Speaking of deadly marijuana, Ricky Williams might be playing for the ‘Fins against the Eagles on Sunday. Wow, this could get interesting. Also, I’d like to add that it makes perfectly good sense that a guy who occasionally puffs on the lala gets a longer suspension than players that shoot people. I think that is very justifiable. The NFL is a joke.

–It’s things like this that remind us how important and life affirming the intranets can be. You have to see this video. (SFW)

-The other day, after a game Laker coach Phil Jackson said, “We call this a ‘Brokeback Mountain’ game, because there’s so much penetration and kickouts.” Later he said he was sorry, but not before adding, “If I’ve offended any horses, Texans, cowboys or gays, I apologize.” Phil, I am sitting here with a very upset horse. I hope you’re happy. (Link to story here.)

Although quizzo players and fans of Paris Hilton are essentially the exact same demographic, JGT has decided to still hold quizzo tonight, despite the fact that she will be selling her perfume at the same time. “Did we think about canceling the Rendezvous quizzo? Sure. I doubt anyone’s gonna be there. I know for a fact that Darth Ern and the entire Trust Us We Know squad will be in line at Macy’s. But the show must go on.” Goodtimes is expected to be releasing his own fragrance, Quiz Eau, in the near future.