Scoreboard, Brought to You By Motorcycle I Saw at Reading Terminal

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O’NEALS

  1. Zombie George Carlin 104
  2. DorkSided 103
  3. We’re Here to Kill Your Monster 92
  4. The N Crowd 85
  5. Philla Killas 80

BARDS

  1. Sofa Kingdom 113
  2. Hurtin Bombs 108
  3. The Unemployed 96
  4. El Narcotizo 90
  5. Future Fathers of Gloucester, MA 74

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

  1. The Jams 113
  2. Trust Us We Know 111
  3. Hippy Dippy Weathermen 88
  4. Epic Fail 86
  5. But My Mom Says I’m Cool 77

BLACK SHEEP

  1. Duane’s World 111
  2. Doc Eisen’s Leisure Time Products 99
  3. Axis of Evil Knieval 97
  4. Penn 15 Club 91
  5. McKie’s Hired Guns 84

GOOD DOG

  1. AAR 86
  2. Shomer Shabbas 82
  3. Fantastic Foundlings 71
  4. Pinkertons 69
  5. Underachivers 69

BARDS

  1. Sofa Kingdom 110
  2. Hurtin Bombs 105
  3. Girls Gone Oscar Wilde 100
  4. Kobe, How’s My A$$ Taste 99
  5. This is not a Bus 95

Real Quick

  • Gonna try to do the scoreboard after I get back from the bank. In the meantime, here’s a few ideas for stuff to do this weekend.
  • Oh, and I’ve got a gig coming up at the Franklin Institute in July. More details in the coming weeks. But I will tell you this: pirates will be involved.
  • And Chincoteague is on the front page of philly.com right now. Woo-hoo! Represent, represent! Ok, so actually Chincoteague for the pony penning is pretty much the stupidest summer idea ever, where a bunch of Jerseyites go so they can actually buy little Cindy a pony for her birthday. But on the other weekends, it’s a pretty neat place.

Around the Horn

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  • First off, anybody got any exciting plans for watching the Euro final on Sunday? Anybody know of any Spanish or German bars where people will be going wild (and where there will be Spanish and/or German women who are not celebrating a birthday that day?). Ludwig’s woulda been perfect for this. Got any good ideas, drop ’em below.
  • Posted a thing on Kerri Lee’s site lately about the origins of common phrases and cliches. Think you might get a kick out of it.
  • There are rumblings that the Phillies were stealing signs from the Red Sox in their recent matchup. This from the Boston Globe (via PhiladelphiaWillDo): The Sox played the Phillies last week, and one major league official thought the Phillies were taking Boston’s signs. Yep, cheating got Barry Bonds 762 Home Runs, cheating got the Patriots three Super Bowl wins, and cheating got the Phillies blown out twice in three games by the Red Sox. Mon dieu, imagine how bad we’d be getting beat by the American League if we weren’t cheating.
  • The Bad News: Making a dumbass rap video about killing cops while waving a gun around will get you arrested, especially if your son is filming. The Good News: Making a dumbass rap video about killing cops while waving a gun around and getting arrested is definitely gonna help move units of your forthcoming album. The kids love it when you keep it real!

Latest in the Metro

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Here’s the latest. A lot of people did amazing things when they were my age, I still haven’t done anything amazing yet. Oh yeah, and that whole, “I forgot that today was my birthday” thing I wrote about? Yeah, it really happened. All in all, one of the best blowoff lines I’ve ever gotten. Also, one time I was in line at Ross Dress For Less in Hawaii and thought that the sales clerk was flirting with me, so I asked her if she wanted to get together for a drink sometime. She said, “Thanks”…long dramatic pause…”But nooooo thanks.” (snarky, sarcastic smile). I’m still a little bit miffed about that one.

Impossible Round of Summer Quiz

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Here is the impossible round of Saturday’s quiz about summer. Answers after the jump.

  1. On what tv show would you have found a character named Summer Roberts?
  2. Who wrote the baseball classic, Summer of ’49?
  3. JAWS is considered the first ever summer blockbuster. Who wrote it?
  4. What Canadian city has a popular tourist destination known as The Beaches?
  5. In what movie did a character named Summer Wheatley (above) run for class president?
  6. In what city will you find Arthur Bryant’s Barbecue?
  7. This 2001 film starred Janeane Garofalo and David Hyde Pierce.
  8. Paul Newman’s first ever Broadway appearance was in this 1953 play written by William Inge. The title is one “summery” word.
  9. This water ice stand at 7th and Christian has been in business since 1945.
  10. What legendary rocker had a song called the Talking Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre Blues?

Continue reading “Impossible Round of Summer Quiz”

But What Does Quizmaster Chris Reeeeally Think about Dirty Frank’s?

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Well, one thing you can say about Quizmaster Chris: He doesn’t keep his feelings to himself, and isn’t scared to write what he thinks. A few months ago, I forwarded the fact that an employee of Dirty Frank’s had interrupted a game of quizzo by throwing a chair. Well, a couple of weeks ago, Dirty Frank’s pulled the plug on quizzo entirely, and Chris was none too pleased. Here are a few of his more choice comments about the bar and the way it went down:
No one at Frank’s gives a flying f*** about you. We’re all disposable pieces of s*** to them, which is ironic as you can’t get much s****ier than some of the staff. Keep in mind that an employee who smacked a customer in the head and threw a chair across the room is still employed there, but the quiz has to go, because the quiz made a few unsavory alcoholics unhappy…It’s very difficult for me to promote the idea of people coming to a place to play a quiz where an employee throws a barstool across the room, smacks a customer in the head, and not only remains an employee but hangs around to mock me on the odd off-duty night. It’s difficult to get people to come back to a place where sometimes people who need to be in the drunk tank are still being served, or where it’s hard to hear me over the terminally rude, who decide that question 3 of round 4 is the perfect time to sing “Happy Birthday.”… If you want slow and/or bitter service, the opportunity for a fistfight, an increasingly pathetic alcoholic-centered group of obnoxious patrons, largely unregulated by the world’s smallest bouncers… if you’d like to enjoy this with a skull-splitting soundtrack of bad metal and rap… try Frank’s.

Quizmaster Chris has replaced that quiz with a new one on Wednesday nights at Ray’s Happy Birthday Bar at 9 p.m.

JGT Upgraded to “Staple”

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I just came across the following sentence in Saturday’s Inquirer**: …or you can challenge your brain at the Quizzo Tournament with Philly staple Johnny Goodtimes in the Innovation Studio. Philly Staple? That’s awesome. Staple is not really legend, but still bigger than “Philly regular” or even “Philly entertainer.” Ha! Staple. I’m gonna be riding high off this all day. In other news, I don’t have a lot of excitement going on in my life right now.

**no, I wasn’t googling myself. Puh-Leez. What do you think I am, some sort of loser? Don’t answer that.