After Philly sent Denver back to the bus with their tails between their legs (congrats on that tied for 24th finish, guys), it didn’t take long for their local Weekly of record, Westword, (Get it? West-word? Yeah, that’s what we’re dealing with here.) to fire back some lame volleys.

It’s well known that Philadelphia is a cultural armpit that has never produced anything of value except for Gilbert Lewis, but the town’s community of second-rate trivia geeks is apparently up to speed on random facts as posed by a cross-section of obscure Philadelphia celebrities. Last weekend, a crack trivia team organized by Denver’s Geeks Who Drink, fresh off a win for Denver at Geek Bowl V, journeyed to Philadelphia to participate in that city’s Quizzo Bowl VII, basically a crappier version of the same event.

Never produced anything of value? I know it’s hard to get oxygen to your brain at such a high altitude, but have you ever heard of the U.S. Constitution? You know that inalienable right you have to write trash like this for your 2nd rate paper? You’re welcome.

What trivia question did Jose Garces ask at Quizzo Bowl VII? What about Marc Summers? Mayor Nutter? Find out by watching the video above. For those in the loop, the one liners at the end probably make more sense than for others, but for the uninitiated: Lambda had won the last 3 Quizzo Bowls before this year, Sofa Kingdom are the uber-nerds who won this year, Denver and Philly have a serious geek rivalry, and Fastball Pitcher Bob Gutierrez was my co-host at Quizzo Bowl. (Here is some video of me, him, and Chip dancing, if you missed it.) If you like this video, please click “Like” below. Thanks!

Here ya go, the Final Scores from Saturday night (Top 10 teams are yellow, top 20 are green, top 30 are blue, top 40 are orange, and last place is grey). Went back and checked some scores and had to change a few things, and everything has been adjusted as best as possible. There was one major scoring change, and I have contacted both teams, who were both incredibly gracious about it. Further re-enforces what an awesome community this quizzo crowd is.

2 1/2 Kilos (aka The Jams) in fact finished 2nd, and Dorksided finished 3rd. It was a grading error, not a scoring error, and I am going to put some further safety guards in place to make sure we get things right next year. Trust me, by far the hardest thing about Quizzo Bowl is trying to grade all of those papers checked in such a short amount of time with 100% accuracy, and unfortunately, there is no way of guaranteeing that, even when things are triple checked. Not making excuses, we REALLY should have caught that, but I assure you that I will do everything in my power to prevent this from happening again. I have tried my best to make it up to Dorksided by upping their 3rd Place haul, and I again want to thank the Kilos, who knew they finished 2nd but didn’t say anything because they didn’t want to make a stink about. Doesn’t get much classier than that (I found out when I double checked the scores this morning.)

If your score seems off, let me know and I’ll double check for you. But I’ve spent all morning double checking things, and scores should be about right. Gonna work on editing the celebrity round now to make it more smooth for the internet. Hope to have it up this afternoon.