I was getting ready to post a few lines about the Kenny Rogers pine tar incident, so I decided to do a little research on Tigers pitcher Kenny Rogers. Of course, he’s not the first Kenny Rogers to come up when you search that name. But the 2nd thing to come up is the most interesting. It’s the Men Who Look Like Kenny Rogers page, where people take photos of men that they think look like Kenny Rogers (the singer) and post them on this website.
Bonus Fun Fact: Kenny Rogers Greatest Hits was the first album I ever owned. Yes, I’m old enough to have owned records in a non-ironic way.

-A 14 year old learned a valuable lesson this past week when she thought she could threaten Bush on Myspace.

-Am I the only one who kind of hopes that this story about dude jumping off the Whitman was like a Fugitive thing where he dove off the bridge and then remained underwater for a few minutes and then came up on the Philly shore and tried to find the real killer? That would be awesome.

-Life’s not easy for us beautiful people. It’s hard to get things done when people are constantly trying to pick us up. Well, one of my fellow prisoners of beauty decided to do something about it-make herself ugly thru plastic surgery.

-Oh, and one thing we learned last week that I forgot to mention: Wawa’s orange flavored milk is kind of gross.

Damn, yo, Weird Al’s still got it.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present for your approval, cats that look like Hitler.

– Trivia Art

Last night, my friend Suzanne and I decided to meet up with Palestra Jon and Trivia Art at Dark Horse for quizzo. But we were both hungry, so first we decided to grab something to eat. After a bit of debate, we finally settled on one thing we could both agree on: Jim’s. Jim’s is a place where I always tend to go when I have family in town, but never really seem to go otherwise. I don’t know why. Now I know what you’re thinking: Johnny, if you’re going to grab a cheesesteak, why not get one from a man who is a total bigot? Well, we weren’t in South Philly, and I also didn’t want a cheesesteak that tastes like cardboard, so we decided against Geno’s. The cheeseteak at Jim’s was delicious, as always. After dinner we headed off to quizzo, where we lost a tie-breaker for second place. Once quizzo was over, I found myself hungry again. “Anybody up for wings?” I asked. “Yes”, came the reply from Art and Suzanne. So we headed to Moriarity’s. That’s right. Jim’s Steaks and Moriarity’s wings on the same night. Praise me, people. Next week, a repeat, but with a Lorenzo’s slice!

I received a great email yesterday. This is how it read: I work for an Entertainment and Sports Marketing firm and was wondering if you had Manute Bol’s contact information and/or his agent. It is regarding an appearance in a commercial and this info would be much appreciated. Thanks for your help.

Somebody actually asked me if I had Manute Bol’s contact information! That rules! I don’t know if it was spam or not, though. The guys e-mail address name was Burns 1. That’s a little fishy. Here’s another e-mail I received a couple of months ago: Hi Johnny, I’m working on a show for CMT called “Greatest Moments: Toby Keith” and am interested in using the photo you have on your site of Natalie Maines wearing her FUTK T-shirt (see attachment). Do you have a higher res version of this image?

I wrote her back that I did not have a high res image, but that if she wanted someone to do a lot of hating on Toby Keith for her show, I would love to. I haven’t heard back from her.

What? You thought I was just going to let that stupid ribbon thing go? You’ve got to be kidding me. Not when there is a website that lets you make your own ribbon! Please, Please send me any ribbons you make and if they’re funny I will post them on the website, along with your name, (if you want). Just send them to johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com.

The Ku Klux Klan wants to adopt a highway, but apparently people think that there is enough white trash on the side of the road. So the Klan had to take it’s case to the highest court in the land (besides the People’s Court): the Supreme Court.

This is incredible! Some teenage kid called Donovan McNabb, said he was James Thrash and that he was in trouble and needed $600, and McNabb wired him the money!!! I mean, I could see Donovan helping out Deuce if he needed cash, but not Thrash.

Christmas in the Stars
Many have wondered how the George Lucas who wrote Indiana Jones, and directed the first Star Wars, I mean fourth Star Wars, could be the same person who subjected us to Jar Jar Binks. But lets face it, the writing has been on the wall for a long time. Ewoks. Need I say more? No I don’t, because there is a Star Wars Christmas Album, Christmas in the Stars! And luckily this site critiques the album and even offers you the chance to listen.