For the past few years, Fastball Bob has graced us with his presence at Quizzo Bowl. Well, this year, he’s bringing the whole gang along. Renowned local sketch group Secret Pants, the group Fastball Bob is a member of, is going to be performing one of this year’s rounds…and yes, Fastball Bob will have a starring role. It’s going to be our first ever acted out round in Quizzo Bowl history. Tickets are now on sale to Quizzo Bowl IX, which will be held February 23rd at World Cafe Live and feature between-round performances from hair metal legends Welcome to My Face.
Category: Happenings
Question of the Week
Question of the Week
JGT Power Rankings 1/28
A completely wild week at quizzo, as we had two first time teams win and a 3rd lose by a single point.
1. Steak Em Up. They missed the first question on Tuesday, then got the next 39 correct. But on Thursday, they fell in OT at the Bards. It was great. Last week: #1
2. Duane’s World. The hot streak continues, as they win their 5th straight at Black Sheep and force a Bounty. Last Week: #2
3. Why Can’t Us? This team has been on fire lately, winning 4 times since the start of December, and losing 4 other times by 3 points or less. This past week, they put an impressive 123 on the board on a quiz Duane’s World scored 99 on and Steak Em Up scored 91 on. Last week: #12
4. Savage Ear. This team is back with a vengeance. A big win at O’Neals on Tuesday, followed by a 2nd place finish at the sports quiz. Both Jim and I are quite pleased that the Toddfather has put the band back together. Last week: #8
5. Stillmaniacs. An OT win followed by a 1 point win. These Cardiac Kids are showing some real grace under fire. Last week: #9.
6. Sidecardigans. A 3-point loss at home drops them a spot in the rankings, but their spirits remain high. Last week: #5
7. FFSF. Yes, they defeat Steak Em Up, but it did take them like 11 players to do it. Don’t you people see what Steak Em Up has done to me? Still, they beat them, and at this point every time a team defeats STeak Em Up, no matter what the circumstances, I take it as a personal victory. Last week: #14
8. The Jams. Back to Back losses, without even a top 3 finish last week, has them tumbling down the list. Last week: #3
9. Sharks With Lasers Pew! Pew! They come outta nowhere to knock off the Sidecardigans and a packed house at the Sidecar last Monday. Can they keep it going this week? Last week: NR
10. Awesome Deuche Nozzles. Another team that just wandered onto the scene and quickly made a name for themselves, this time at the Rendezvous. When Clown Question returns, and if Jam Master Phil ever stops having to fly to awful cities for work, the Vous could once again become the center of the local nerd universe. Last week: NR
Rest of the Top 20.
11. Tempura House.
12. Clown Question Bro.
13. Mysterious Mr. Mapother.
14. L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics.
15. Underground Bard.
16. Bears are Scared of Jazz Hands.
17. Sex Toy Story 3-Some.
18. Sedgely Singh.
19. Catfishing in the Yemen.
20. Victorious Secret.
An Interview With 105-Year Old Restaurant Owner Mama Teshima
When I first moved to Hawaii in 1998, I was staying with a friend of mine (Bo) at his grandmother’s garage apartment. She was friends with the owner of a nearby Japanese restaurant, Shizuko “Mama” Teshima (The restaurant’s name, appropriately enough, was Teshima‘s). So whenever we would go eat there, a 91-year old lady would come to our table and greet us and “talk story” with Tutu, my friend’s grandmom.
Now, as some of you know, I worked in a dolphin facility at the time. So did my friend, Bo. One day, he arranged for his grandmom and Mama Teshima to get into the water with the dolphins. Remarkably, despite living in Hawaii her entire life, it was the first time the 91-year old Teshima had ever put on a bathing suit or gotten into the water. What a remarkable woman, having the courage to go into the water for the first time at age 91, and to then interact with a 500-pound animal while in the water! Just incredible.
When I decided to return to visit Hawaii this past August, I discovered that she was still alive at age 105, and still running the restaurant, though not on a daily basis. She lived in a small apartment right behind the restaurant with several members of her family. When I told her that I had been one of the guys who had helped bring her into the water with the dolphins many years before, she excitedly got her son to go find the photograph of her kissing the dolphin, then said to me, “You still look young but you grew.”
Mama Teshima held my arm during much of the interview. She is simply one of the sweetest, kindest people I have ever met, and I hope a few more people learn about this remarkable woman from this short interview I did. She is 105 years old, and she did not have the energy for a long winded piece nor does she like to talk about herself, so I kept it fairly short. I then went into the restaurant and interviewed her daughter, Irene, who told me more about the restaurant. While I was interviewing Irene, Mama called down from her house and demanded that my wife and I have lunch there, on the house. The food was, as always, delicious.
JGT: I want to start by asking you about the restaurant. When did you first open?
MAMA: I got married, 1927. I stayed with my in-laws until 1930, and there was a store.
JGT: And where was that located.
MAMA: Right here.
IRENE: It was a bar, a grocery store, and a barber shop, when they first opened. It was hard when they opened the grocery store, because people didn’t have money. She ran things on credit, and people wouldn’t be able to pay her until the coffee harvest came in, and then they would come in and pay.
JGT: Have you always lived in this building (right behind the restaurant)?
MAMA: This came in 1947.
JGT: So you started with a store in 1929?
MAMA: Yes, a store. Rations. General merchandise. Small, but we carried fishing tools, groceries. Old fashioned. And then when the war came, I took care of the soldiers (American soldiers were stationed next door). I fed them. They would come to the bar, and they were hungry, I used to treat them. When I was 30-something. I was young. I didn’t worry about money. Nobody had money. (laughs)
JGT: Was there any difficulty for you, when the war started, since your family is Japanese?
MAMA: There were three local people who came to check on us, and make sure everything is alright. Policemen and…FBI. There were blackouts, and we had to cover the windows, but we didn’t feel like there was war. When Pearl Harbor was bombed, they took my husband to the mainland. To the concentration camp. But it didn’t take long, and he came back. Oshima, the man with the store (His family still runs the general store called Oshima’s a couple of miles down the road from Teshima’s), wanted to come back, he had little children. He was climbing up the barbed wire. They shot him, so he died. (ed. note- I did a little research on this. Kisaburo Oshima was shot and killed at an internment camp in Fort Sill, Oklahoma.)
IRENE: I don’t think my mom had any problem with the soldiers next door. In fact, they all came to her and she would write to their parents and tell them that the boys were OK. She always felt that, what if it was her children being far away, (the parent) not knowing what’s going on?
JGT: So did the restaurant stay open during the war?
MAMA: I had the bar. The soldiers came. I said, “The soldiers are not going to live long. They are going to die.” So I gave them a lot of liquor. Other bars gave little liquor or mixture. But I felt they’re not coming back. Why not give them what they want?
IRENE: During the war, you know the church next door, the Buddhist church, was used for soldiers. And a lot of them wanted to go out to eat and drink, so my mother would cook for them. So she decided to open a little saimin and sandwich place. She started small. And then she got rid of the grocery store, and just did the restaurant and the bar.
JGT: So when did you open as a restaurant?
MAMA: I forgot the date. (Laughs) I cannot figure. (ed. note: According to several other sources, it was sometime in the 1940s).
JGT: So you’ve been in charge of the restaurant ever since it opened?
MAMA: Yes.
JGT: When you opened the restaurant, did you used to cook the food?
MAMA: Yeah. And my friend, but she’s all gone. I’m 105, so she was one year younger. She and I. She did the waitress, helped me cook, and I cooked, washed the dishes.
MAMA: Working at Captain Cook.
IRENE: He worked at the Captain Cook Coffee Company. He was a mechanic over there.
JGT: When you first opened, was it named Teshima’s?
MAMA: Yes, Teshima. The same.
JGT: What advice would you give to a person who wants to own a restaurant?
MAMA: No greed. Always try to help.
JGT (To Irene): Do you think your mother is proud of what she’s accomplished?
IRENE: Oh I’m sure. She’s not the kind of person to take credit for things. But she’s done a lot, and because of her, we’re still here. She never had an education, but through hard work, she accomplished a lot. She should be really proud of herself, even if she won’t brag about it.
True to her mantra of always trying to help, on her 105th birthday, this past June, Mama Teshima asked people to not bring her gifts…instead she asked them to donate to a scholarship fund set up for local high school seniors so that they could attend college.
And the Band for Quizzo Bowl Is…
WELCOME TO MY FACE! That’s right, the city’s premiere hair metal cover band that set the world on fire in the early 1980s before being torn apart by drugs and alcohol and out of control egos is back together to tear the roof off of World Cafe Live on February 23rd at Quizzo Bowl IX. All of your favorite hits of the 1980s, from RATT to Poison to Def Leppard are going to come to life on February 23rd between rounds of America’s oldest and most prestigious Quizzo Bowl event. Look what the quiz dragged in!
JGT Power Rankings
Here are the power rankings as we head into 2013.
1. Steak Em Up (Bards). Still number 1, but they did finish 4th at the Bards on Thursday, as L. Ron crushed them. Great way to end the year.
2. Duane’s World (Black Sheep). Almost lost the number 2 spot, but they came from 12 down to win at the Sheep last Wednesday.
3. The Jams (Rendezvous). Darth Ern! Pete! Joe! Justin! The old Frank Clement’s crew played together last week and pulled off a big win at the Vous.
4. Why Can’t Us (Ugly American). A rapid climb up the charts, with two wins and a 2nd place finish in the past three weeks.
5. L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics (Bards). About time. They finally break out of their funk, missing only one question at a rousing defeat of Steak Em Up on Thursday night.
6. Bears Are Scared of Jazz Hands (O’Neals, UA). Two wins and a 2nd place finish in the past 3 weeks. This is the hottest this team has ever been. Can they keep it up?
7. Sidecardigans (Sidecar). Finally broke out of their funk a couple of weeks ago with a huge win at the Sidecar. Will they take their act on the road this week?
8. Madame Butterface (Rendezvous). A huge win for this franchise at the Christmas quiz a couple of weeks ago.
9. It’s Not Creepy if You Say it Right (Black Sheep). Always a contender at North Star, and looked to have a win locked up at the Sheep last week before a 4th round meltdown. Can they rebound from such a devastating loss?
10. 5 Finger Assprint (Sidecar). Sidecar regulars will need to take their act on the road to stay in the Top 10.
The rest of the Top 20.
11. Clown Question Bro
12. Flick My Bic
13. Interim Team Name
14. Happy Birthday to the Ground
15. Mysterious Mr. Mapother
16. Jitney Spears
17. StillManiacs
18. Hooter and Chuff
19. FFSF
20. Underground Bard
Stu Bykofsky Defends Blackface
Another Mummers Parade has come and gone, leaving those of us with a modicum of common sense and common decency both bewildered and embarrassed (I wrote a piece defending the Mummers a few years ago. I made some fair points, but after what I saw yesterday, I was wrong.) The Mummers decided to really amp up the racism this year, and the result was embarrassing for the city. But Daily News writer Stu Bykofsky thinks we just lack a sense of humor if we don’t find blackface or mockery of Native Americans funny.
Out there in the twitverse – that’s not a typo – some donkey sees blackface in the Mummers Parade and – kazaam! – as many as nine people on a couple of different “platforms” are finding other forms of “racism” in the parade, drawing insipid conclusions from their aggressive ignorance.
In other words, Stu Bykofsky thinks it’s not only perfectly acceptable in 2013 to have a float called “Bringin’ Back Those Minstrel Days” in a downtown parade in one of America’s largest cities, complete with giant wooden depictions of blackface (seen below), but that those of us who don’t “get it” are ignorant. He continues.
If you’re offended, here’s a buck. Try to buy a sense of humor.
See, here’s the problem with your simple logic, Stu: there is a very hard and fast rule in comedy…if you’re going to say or do something making fun of a race that isn’t your own, IT BETTER BE FUNNY. That’s the social contract that anyone doing comedy has with their audience. You can say whatever you want when it comes to race, but it better be funny or the crowd will probably turn on you and you’re going to look like a total jackass. I’ve seen comedians walk both sides of that line, and it is remarkable to see the people who are good at it pull it off, to the degree that the people they’re making fun of are laughing their heads off. It is an amazing skill, one that very few comics are capable of. And it is cringeworthy when the others can’t make it work, and the crowd turns, and the comic is up there all alone, twisting in the wind because their joke was some idiotic, simple lampooning of race.
In other words, race and culture and class and America’s history of racial and social conflict are all on the table for comedy and satire in the Mummers Parade. All of it. But here is what is truly so offensive about the Mummers: they’re not funny. Mocking call centers in India, then confusing Native Americans with Indians…not funny. Mocking people by posting giant wooden caricatures of blackface…pathetic and simple. Why can’t the clowns be funny? Why can’t a string group as obviously talented as the Ferko’s (Who have finished in the top 5 a whopping 83 times) express themselves creatively without “bringin’ back” to life something the country pretty much agreed was overtly racist over 100 years ago? That doesn’t mean that these groups need to appeal to my personal aesthetic, or even anything close to it, but for the love of God is it too much to ask that they stop trying to appeal to Mississippi rednecks of the 1950s?
And don’t come after me for not appreciating Philly’s history and tradition. I love this city’s history and tradition. I run a freaking website about Philly’s history. But appreciating history doesn’t mean we have to keep repeating it. Blackface was wrong. There’s a reason it stopped being socially acceptable. And if a Mummers troupe in 2013 isn’t creative enough to do a production without incorporating it, then they shouldn’t be in a major parade in one of America’s great cities. It’s really that simple.
If you find blackface funny, or that skit above funny, you are quite simply anti-social. That humor is not funny. It’s simple and it’s lame. If you want to know why blackface isn’t funny, pick up a U.S. history book. If you still want to defend it, Stu, go right ahead. But just be aware that you’re on the other side of that line, the one where no one is laughing. You’re just twisting in the wind, joking about blackface in a room of people who think that you just don’t have a clue.
Johnny’s 12 Best Columns of 2012
Since this website is all about me you guys, I thought I should post some of the best things I’ve written this year for YOUR amusement. I’m such a giver. You’re welcome. In no particular order, here are my twelve best from 2012.
1. The Bizarre Case of the Ben Franklin Bust. How a $3 million Ben Franklin bust ended up in a dumpster in West Philly.
2. How Philly Comedians Handle Hecklers. Pretty fascinating interview with several Philly comedians after the Daniel Tosh heckler incident.
3. When Scoop Jardine Stood Me Up at the City Line Hilton. I have had more people tell me that they enjoyed this piece than anything else I have written in the past several years.
4. Whiskey Cures Asthmatic Canaries. Some of the hilarious things I found in an 1890s Philadelphia Almanac.
5. Five Plans that Could Have Changed Philadelphia Forever. What if we had gotten the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame? What if the Eagles had moved to Arizona? 5 things that came remarkably close to happening in Philly that would have changed the city forever.
6. Six Creative Marriage Proposals. Pretty self explanatory. The one at the end, involving dead bees, is pretty mindblowing.
7. Ridiculous Fantasies (and Practical Ideas) for Philly’s Abandoned Buildings. I spoke with a couple of architecture bloggers about what cool things could be done with the Divine Lorraine, USS United States, etc.
8. Interview with a North Korean Tourist. A very fascinating look at North Korea from a guy who’s been there several times. This was the most fascinating interview I did all year, but then again I’m pretty mesmerized by North Korea.
9. The Double Life and Strange Death of Phils Manager Arthur Irwin. This is one of the wildest stories you will ever read. When former Phillies manager Arthur Irwin committed suicide by jumping off a boat, his family in Boston discovered that he also had a family in New York, and vice versa.
10. The 1965 Proposals for a New Stadium, and Dome Proposals for the Vet. If you’re an architecture junkie, you’ll dig this one. There were some very interesting proposals for new stadiums in Philly that never got realized.
11. When Connie Mack had a Heckler Arrested. You think Philly fans are bad now? They were way worse in the 20s.
12. Searching for the Enemy. Don’t read this one unless you’re in the mood for a good cry. Seriously, I think it’s a pretty good piece but I can’t even read it because it will make me too sad.
Motown New Year’s Eve Party
Hey gang, just a heads up that Carl of Specific Jawns fame, Chip Chantry of Chip Chantry fame, and myself are hosting the best New Year’s Eve party in Philadephia. We’ve got a lineup of honestly the best comedians in Philadelphia (including Phillies Funniest winners Doogie Horner and Tommy Pope and Jimmy Kimmel staff writer Luke Cunningham). Then after the comedy portion of the evening, we’ll be getting down to the sounds of Motown, as DJ HonkyTron will be spinning Motown hits until 1:30 a.m.
$50 covers the show, the music, food, and a 4-hour open bar. Our goal was to keep it cheap and fun, and it’s gonna be both. For more info check it out on facebook. We’re only selling tix beforehand, not at the door, and we’re only going to sell a limited number to keep this fairly intimate. We’re not looking to blow it out. We’re just looking to have a very cool crowd, cover our costs, and have a great time. So be sure to order your tix online. Ticket info is on the facebook invite. We did a NYE party last year and it was tremendous, and this year promises to be even better. Hope you can make it! If you have any questions feel free to shoot me a line at johnny (at) johnnygoodtimes.com.