JGT will be hosting the 4th annual holiday spectacular this week at all quizzoes. It will be the same questions throughout, so I am asking that all teams just play once this week. So brush up on your Christmas movies,find out what a chanukkiyah is, and come on out and party!

Hey gang, the Philadelphia Committee to End Homelessness was overjoyed with the $307 we raised for them a couple of months ago, and in the spirit of the season, we’re gonna raise some cash for charity again this week. We’ll be giving to a charity we gave to last year at about this time, the Utility Emergency Services Fund. It’s a charity that helps low income families pay their utility bills, which is of course vital in the winter. I am asking each person who plays this week to donate at least $1 to this worthy cause. Also, I would like to remind male quizzo players that I have many of your New Years Resolutions already taken care of. I’ll talk to some of you this week about what you will be doing next year to help make Philadelphia a better city. More details to follow in the near future.

–David Duke takes on Wolf Blitzer on CNN. At one point, David Duke actually says, “You can’t handle the truth.” In other news, David Duke apparently has a very firm grip on the truth.

-TO says, “Stop Snitchin’!”

-Santa News! First, a man curses out Santa at Plymouth Meeting mall. Second, the Running of the Santas is taking place this Saturday. Yeah, you heard me. The Running of the Freaking Santas. Damn, I love this city.

-Thursday With Ginger coming this afternoon.

Now as you know, Johnny has long had a rivalry with Fado quizzo. And it just got a little hotter, as JGT decided to swing by Fado after the Black Sheep for a New York minute with Trivia Art Wednesday night. Once he arrived, he was informed that earlier in the evening, the quizzo host at Fado had stated, “Johnny Goodtimes sucks.” Since there has yet to be confirmation of the statement, JGT has elected to remain silent on the matter. Bobby Badtimes is expected to weigh in on the matter as part of his holiday address in the coming weeks.

But it was what happened as I prepared to leave that was really worth repeating (yeah, I just switched from the third to first person. I can do that. It’s my website.). Suddenly, this girl just walks up to me and says, “I told that guy that if he didn’t stop f****** with me I was going to tell my boyfriend,” this complete stranger says to me excitedly. “My boyfriend is in the Irish mob, and he will KILL you.” Noticing that my eyes got kind of big at this statement, she soothed me with, “Not you, this is what I told the guy who kept f****** with me.” She then bragged, “My boyfriend is in the Irish mob, and he has killed over 20 people since moving to America without getting caught, so I am not someone you want to mess with.” She then stormed off. As a public service, I would like to alert the local citizenry that there is apparently an Irishman in the city who has killed over 20 people here, and Lord knows how many he killed in his homeland before sailing over. Be wary of all Irishmen! If you see someone who looks Irish approaching, just start running and screaming, “Killer!!!” This should frighten them off.

-Yeah, yesterday I wrote about the Junkyard Dog, and today I’m looking at birthdays and guesss who would be 54 today if they were still alive? Weird. Man, makes me wanna grab them cakes!

–Men do not think about sex every 8 seconds. That is an unfounded myth designed to make us look bad! We think about a lot of things other than sex. A random sampling of my thoughts over the past 8 seconds confirms this:
Bull riding is my new favorite sport; Hamburger Helper is delicious; I wonder what my fiancee is up to.
See, one about sports, one about food, and one about a person who is as nearly as dear to me as I am to her. And nothing about sex.

–Dr. Phil kicks the creator of Bumfights off his show. I hope that dude that created Bumfights drives off a bridge. A tall one, where he has a lot to think about before he hits the water.

-There is something weird going on here. I got up at 11 and now it’s almost one and there is no way I’ve been sitting here at this computer for two hours. Something is up, and it is unsettling.

What’s the best gift you ever got for Christmas, Hanukkah, Festivus, etc.? That’s a tough one for me. I remember one Christmas I spent the night at my grandad’s house on Christmas Eve and in the morning I received the Atari game Real Sports Football and was tortured b/c my Atari was at home and my grandad didn’t have one. But my sister got a chalkboard, so I commandeered that and spent the morning drawing up plays for my game. Which, considering the sophistication of computer football games back then, made about as much sense as drawing up plays for Pick Up Sticks. I also remember the year I got a Steve Bartkowski jersey. Seriously. That was pretty special. But probably the most memorable was when all I wanted for Christmas was a Junkyard Dog wrestling figure and Santa drove 100 miles away to find one, but the place didn’t have it, so Santa had to write me a poem explaining why I wouldn’t be getting Junkyard Dog that year. (I’ll ask my mom if she still has Santa’s poem stored somewhere. If so, I’ll be sure to post it.) Instead I just got a Rowdy Roddy Piper rasslin’ figure By itself. The Rowdy Roddy Piper figure did a lot of interviews that year, and occasionally had a “midget match” against GI Joe action figures. What about you? What was the best/most memorable holiday gift you ever received?

-New York always has to one up us, don’t they? Our Taco Bells serve bad onions, so they get a restaurant which serves polonium-310. Touche, NYC. Touche.

–What’s the big deal about Nicole Richie driving in the carpool lane? Who, in an effort to get somewhere on time, hasn’t pulled a “fast one” and slipped into the carpool lane for just a few minutes? High on Vicotin? Driving the wrong way?

-I’m still loving hot chicks with douchebags.

-Quick reminder: Carpe Diem, because no-one is promised tomorrow.

-Attention girl at the gym with the pretty eyes that I tried so pathetically to hit on today: If you are reading this, I want you to know that I’m not usually that big of a weirdo toolbag. Nevermind, yes I am. Damnit!

The lovely Ginger and I are in the midst of something devious. We will let you know what we are up to later this week, but I just thought should know. No, we are not making out with each other. We did that once, in 2003, but it was like when Brandon Walsh and Valerie Malone (played by the lovely Tiffani Amber Thiessen. Meeeow!) started to make out in 90210, we just started laughing and said, “This is stupid.” So we won’t be going there again.

Yeah, I’m working on the Week in Review, but it’s slow going b/c I actually went out the last two nights. And by went out, I mean, didn’t go anywhere but hung out at whichever bar I finished up quizzo at. Think I’m gonna take it easy tonight afer B-ball practice. Also, men who regularly play quizzo: I’ve got your New Year’s Resoluton all taken care of. Don’t worry about it. I have a very exciting goal for 2007 and you are going to help me achieve it by being better people. Details forthcoming.

Several people have asked me this week if my search for a frontier woman paid off. Well, I wouldn’t say it paid off, per se, but I definitely got some fun responses. For example: I am up to my winter weight and can shoot a gun. I can also russle up some squirrels and make you the best gosh darn squirrel soup u ever had. Can I bring along my man and the 10 young’uns with us though? Another tried to sell me on her attributes: I have a conestoga wagon, 3 oxen, 25 lbs of boiled potatoes, a whittlin’ knife and an iron skillet. And one tried to sell me on her heritage: have you found someone to take your trip with you? well, if not i maybe of help…it is rumored that i am a tiny part blackfoot. i might just be able to get the savages to cut some slack.

Who says frontier romance is dead?