As most of you know, Valentine’s is one of my favorite days of the year. A holiday dedicated to romantic love, so that every couple in America is doing essentially the same things at the same time. What could be more romantic than that? A mass wedding at Madison Square Garden presided over by Sun Myung Moon perhaps, but not much else. And those Vermont Teddie Bears? I love those things! Adorable! A Vermont bear never hibernates! And you know why? Because true love never sleeps! (By the way, if I catch any of you Connecticut Teddie Bears around my property, I will blow your freaking brains out. Frauds! Vermont Teddies are the only real thing!) Well, to honor my favorite day of the whole year, I will be asking plenty of questions tonight about murder, divorce, bad love songs, and bitterness. Come on out. It’s gonna be fun!

RELATED: Bobby Badtimes loves Valentine’s as well.

Whoa, you heard about this one yet? There’s a guy in Vancouver who claims to be the love child of JFK, never meant to be. Love child. Scorned by society. And has Ted Kennedy tried to kill a story about it in Vanity Fair? Oh, and the guy was born on November 22, 1961, a fairly ominous date. I say hoax.

This time it was Forbes magazine, calling us the 5th most miserable city in the country. The guy who wrote the piece, Kurt Badenhausen (left), is a real creative mastermind. To illustrate how miserable we are, he used a fresh and invigorating example-the time we booed Santa. Wow, Kurt, nice work. Did you know that we also have cheesesteaks? Maybe you can use that in your next piece. Or maybe compare us to Rocky. Well, here are a few things you didn’t know about “Cliche” Kurt Badenhausen

1. Kurt’s favorite thing to do in Philadelphia? Get a cheesesteak from Subway and wash it down with a cold Coors Light at Kildare’s.
2. Kurt’s favorite color is “mauve”.
3. Kurt’s says his favorite football team is “the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders 😉 LOL.”
4. Badenhausen is German for “House of Bad.”
5. Kurt has a poster of an eagle above his dresser with the word Determination written below it. It’s the first thing Kurt sees in the morning.

• First off, quizzo tonight. Irish John is kicking off a new quizzo at Tangier (18th and Lombard) at 9 p.m., I believe. I bring up a rival quizzo for two reasons. a) I like Irish John and b) because it’s near my house and on a Monday, so if it works I may try to put a team together. Doubt I’ll make it tonight (It is Gladiator Monday), but I’ll try to make it in a few weeks after Gladiators ends.
• Great weekend. Went to the Blue Horizon on Friday night with Gabe from Western Omelette. After watching the fights, we went to the Sidecar (22nd and Christian) where I got their amazing Crawfish Monica, which is quite honestly the best thing I’ve eaten in 2008. Finished the night with an appearance at the Dolphin Tavern. Saturday night I went to Jose Pistollas (a place that also has quizzo tonight, as well as the lovely Ginger behind the bar). Great Belgian beer selection. I highly recommend it. Last night I stayed home and watched Saving Private Ryan for the first time in ten years. Great film. I’ve been in war flicks lately. Last week I watched Platoon for the first time in probably 15 years.
• Remember to mark your calendars. March 29th. Quizzo Bowl IV. Right now, I’m still working on particulars. A lot more to do to get this thing ready than last year. Will keep you updated.

Last night I asked the question, “Are there any living American veterans of World War One?” The answer is yes. There is one. His name is Frank Buckles and he just turned 107 earlier this week. Here is an article on him that was in the Times a few months ago.

• Here I’ve been spending all this money on my teeth and not even making a dental vacation out of it! What was I thinking?
• Wanna check out the venue for Quizzo Bowl IV? Tex Cobb is going to be honored during a great night of boxing at the Blue Horizon tomorrow night.
• Another amazing wikipedia line, this one pointed out to me by Blind Squirrel Steve, comes from the wiki page of former Phillie catcher and current eccentric Darren Daulton: He recently claimed in a televised interview with ESPN that he has “skipped through time” and undergone “astral travel.”…He plans to go back in time and break Mitch Williams’ legs after the 4th game of the the 1993 World Series.
• I wasn’t the only person to blast Wing Bowl (I don’t even think I blasted it. I just thought it was kind of boring.) This kid at Cornell got in some pretty wicked shots.

  Strip down the niceties, tear down the façade of political correctness, and you are left with Philadelphia at its most naked — unapologetically fat and perverted and disgusting for all to see. The bottom of the social barrel migrates to a small plot of land in South Philly to deliver a big “eff you” to the world. This holiday stands for debauchery, for broken bottles covered in vomit, for smoking in the non-smoking section, for savagely objectifying women without a shred of guilt, for donning an Eagles jersey and shot gunning beer after beer while the rest of America is tightening its tie and sipping its coffee.

I swear I did not do this, but this is currently on the wikipedia page for the Philadelphia 76ers:
In the first round, Philadelphia upset the gay Orlando Magic, three games to one, before being swept by the Indiana Pacers. But they pretty thouroughly kicked the living s*** out of the gay Magic, a team that was expected to make the NBA finals…A rumored trade to the Los Angeles Clippers fell through, but a complicated four-team deal that would’ve seen Iverson sent to the greatest f****** city in all the world..Detroit was agreed upon, only to see it dissolve due to salary cap problems.

Larry Kane defends Arlen Specter’s decision to go after the NFL in the Spygate case. I agree. I can’t believe the NFL is getting off scott free for burning the tapes related to the case. What if baseball had destroyed all of the evidence of steroid use three years ago? There would have been a national outrage. So why does the NFL get off scott free? But wait, D-Mac goes Donspiracist style and finds a conspiracy theory behind Specter’s doings. “Hmmm, intriguing,” I say, stroking my beard and smoking my corncob pipe.

Wing Bowl had to be the stupidest thing I have ever been to in my life. It was asinine, and to be honest, I slept through half of it. I was astounded by how much better Quizzo Bowl is than Wing Bowl. It was just mayhem. It’s pretty much everything you’d expect it to be, except more boring. The staying up all night with a bunch of people was more fun than the actual event. Anyways, I have little league (yes, kids, if you follow my example, someday you could be 32 years old, drinking a beer and watching strippers at the Wachovia Center at 7:15 a.m.) now but I’ll post scores tonight. And remember, announcement about Quizzo Bowl venue coming Sunday.

• The Blue Yak recently posted some great Top 10 lists, including top 10 prison survival tips and top 10 bizarre moustaches.
• This mixtapesbringsmiles blog is kind of fun and a good way to hear some new tunes.
• France’s oldest World War I soldier died at 110. A couple of years ago he said, “War is something absurd, useless, that nothing can justify.” Typical French pinko pantywaister! War rules! Pass me some freedom fries! These colors don’t run!
• You may remember that I went to Scrapplefest last year. Well, I have a feeling that scrapple afficianardos cannot be pleased about the latest scrapple development: Vegan scrapple. (via Foobooz)