As most of you know, Valentine’s is one of my favorite days of the year. A holiday dedicated to romantic love, so that every couple in America is doing essentially the same things at the same time. What could be more romantic than that? A mass wedding at Madison Square Garden presided over by Sun Myung Moon perhaps, but not much else. And those Vermont Teddie Bears? I love those things! Adorable! A Vermont bear never hibernates! And you know why? Because true love never sleeps! (By the way, if I catch any of you Connecticut Teddie Bears around my property, I will blow your freaking brains out. Frauds! Vermont Teddies are the only real thing!) Well, to honor my favorite day of the whole year, I will be asking plenty of questions tonight about murder, divorce, bad love songs, and bitterness. Come on out. It’s gonna be fun!
