Month: July 2011

Five Cool Things We Learned This Week

 

  • Barbie dolls were based on an “adult” gag gift in Germany known as a Bild Lilli doll. “Early fashions are noted for their particular seductive design. Originally this doll had been produced as an advertisement gag for adults.” In 1956, an American woman named Ruth Handler, whose husband was one half of the Mattel ownership team, went to Germany on vacation. She came across the Bild Lilli doll, purchased three, and gave one to her daughter, whose name was Barbie. Her daughter loved the toy, and Mattel decided to take a chance on the first adult doll for kids. Needless to say, it paid off handsomely.

All New Kids Quiz Tonight


The van’s been a-rockin all week, and let’s hope it continues tonight, where in addition to free French Fries, I’m gonna be giving away bonus JGTSI points. That’s right, if you want a chance to get your team in the mix for the JGTSI, you couldn’t pick a better night than tonight. First of all, there is no clearcut favorite at Ugly American at 8 p.m. $1 corn dogs and $3 Stoudts and Kenzingers. Could be a great chance to earn JGTSI points. On to the Bards at 10:15 p.m. $3 Lagers. A chance to knock off the legendary Steak Em Up crew and become quizzo immortals. Hope to see you tonight!

3 Philly Funnymen You Should Be Following on Twitter, Part 3

On Monday we brought you part one, on Tuesday we brought you part two, and today we bring you part three of our funniest Philly folks to follow on twitter. First, I must give credit where credit is due. I got the idea from Larry Mendte, who I steal all my great ideas from. Some of his suggestions for funniest were spot on with mine (Chip Chantry, Blake Wexler, Mary Radzinski, Paul Triggiani) and some were a bit off the mark (No names, but some of the ones on his list were pretty bad). But Larry also included some people with like 40,000 followers, where my goal is m0re  to show off people that not a lot of people follow, but should be following. So here are our next 3.

Blake Wexler. He’s young, he’s dumb, and he’s full of fun. And I was just kidding about the dumb part. He’s pretty smart. He goes to some fancy pants college up north. I won’t bother to look up which one, but I think it’s one for smart people. And he’s funny. Here’s a small sample.

Going to see Harry Porter tonight, where I plan on making a HUGE deal about bringing my own 3D glasses.

My ex treated her body like a temple. And by that, I mean every Friday night she’d fill it with Jews.

At a bar. Just walked up to a married women, sensually removed her wedding ring, and swallowed it. #nowwhat

Doogie Horner. A brilliantly quirky local comedian and master of the flowchart, though he is best known by suburbanites for appearing on America’s Got Talent. As great as he was on AGT, he’s even funnier when non-idiot audiences let him actually tell his jokes. Go see him live. He is also damn funny on twitter.

A lot of people ask me how I write my jokes. Let me tell you: I write them at the piano in an empty house, tears streaming down my face.

If someone is about to beat you up, but stops and says, “You’re not worth it,” what they mean is, “only valuable people deserve beatings.”

How many brazen, up-and-coming pan flute novices have challenged Zamfir for his title?

Christian Alsis. One half of the laugh-out-loud Feeko Brothers, perhaps my favorite sketch duo in Philly. If you ever get a chance to see these guys, DO IT. Seriously, they never disappoint.

Amish people are just hippies without the shitty jam band music.

Buying a bran muffin is like paying $1.75 to poop at work.

The way that nomadic tribes move from place to place is unsettling.

I’ll be back tomorrow with 3 more funny folks.

Reliving Your Childhood Quizzo Starts on Big Money Tuesday (Plus Phils Tix to Give Away)

Going to be a very fun quiz this week. Designed to take you back to your childhood, whether you were a child of the 1950s, 60s, 70s, 80s, or 90s. All questions will be about toys, kids tunes, video games, and other childhood delights.

We start at O’Neals at 8 p.m., where we have a new winner pretty much every week. It’s parity run amok. $3.50 Mexican beers.

On to the City Tap House, where in addition to great specials (personal pizza and a beer for $10, $3 Sly Foxes) and huge prizes ($100 gift certificate for first, $50 for 2nd), I’m going to be giving away a pair of Phillies tickets for this Friday’s game. It’s been quiet there lately, so it’s a great spot to earn a few JGTSI points as well. Action starts at 10:15 p.m.

JGT Super Sports Quiz on July 31st

The JGT Super Sports Quizzo Spectacular is being pushed back a week. We are working on getting some totally bitchin’ prizes, so we’re gonna need a little extra time. So here’s the deal: the quiz will take place at 7 p.m. on Sunday, July 31st. The winner is gonna get an awesome prize. We’re still working on specifics, but it should be badass. So mark your calendars. All sports questions, with an emphasis on football, baseball, and basketball. Lots of great giveaways and specials. And yes, it will count in the JGTSI.

3 Philly Funny Folks You Absolutely, Positively Should Be Following on Twitter, Part 2

Yesterday I gave you the twitter accounts of three of the funniest guys in Philly. Today I’ll give you three more. Well, two more guys, technically, and one girl. Here goes.

Luke Cunningham. I dunno where this guy is these days. New York, Philly, LA. He seems to be all over the place looking for comedy work. A guy working hard to make it happen. He’s from Philly, he performs here regularly, and he’s damn funny. A member of the hilarious Bird Text crew, best known for their Real Househusbands of Philadelphia skit. Here’s a few funny things he’s posted in the past few days.

Casey Anthony is the Michael Vick of babies. Only way I’d ever root for her again is if she was electrifying in the open field.

Busch Gardens Europe is so realistic. My girlfriend spent a semester there and came back a pretentious lesbian.

I’m hilarious as long as we spend less than an hour together and don’t see each other again for at least 3 years.

Mary Radzinski. This Philadelphia funnywoman is as clever on twitter as she is doing standup. She hosts a comedy open mic at Urban Saloon every Monday at 8 p.m.

My grandfather talking about a transgendered woman at his church, “she’s got a hell of a handshake”. #notsurehegetsit

Someone was ripe at the nail salon. And not with anticipation.

There are people who say, “if you can think it, you can do it”. I wish those people would think about piping down.

Mike Rainey. If you like warped, twisted senses of humor, this is the dude for you. He’s the kind of guy that you find yourself laughing at hysterically while simultaneously feeling a slight twinge of guilt for laughing. Here’s a sample:

A surprise party for Nelson Mandela in theory would have been a great idea. But blindfolding him and leading him to an unknown location..bad taste.

I hope Kenny G is the loudmouthed, drunken racist I imagine him to be.

You should be able to exchange a negative pregnancy test for a 4 pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade.

3 more funny folks coming tomorrow! If you want to follow me on twitter, click here. And also be sure to follow our Philly Sports History twitter account as well. Also, I’ll be doing standup on Friday, July 29th at the Shubin Theater. Details forthcoming.

JGTSI Scores Are Up; New Physical Challenge Posted

Here are the scores after 6 weeks. Things are getting interesting. The top of the leaderboard is littered with teams who are taking this physical challenge stuff seriously. After that, we’ve got our usual suspects (Steak Em Up, the Jams, and Duane’s World). I think our Top 10 teams are all but settled. That leaves a lot of teams vying for our final 5 spots. You wanna get a leg up on earning one of those spots? There’s a new physical challenge on facebook. Extremely simple, and should be pretty funny to see photos of you guys as kids.

Now, before you decide whether to do a physical challenge and get your team out to quizzo the next few weeks in the hopes of earning a spot, keep this in mind: you are not only vying for fabulous cash and prizes, you are vying to be a part of history. The Top 15 teams not only get an invite to the JGTSI, they will be representing Philadelphia against Denver, Albuquerque, and Austin in a City vs. Smackdown at 7 p.m. on Sunday, August 7th at the National Mechanics. We’ll have live music, drink and food specials, and a lot of fun. And the city whose top 10 teams have the best average scores? They get to name the Cup that will be presented to the winning city at either Geek Bowl if it’s one of their cities or at Quizzo Bowl if it’s Philly. I really want Dicker, the head of Geeks Who Drink, to have to walk on stage and present me with that trophy.

There is some hope if you don’t finish in the Top 15 and want to be a part of this historic event. You can earn a wild card spot by winning first place at a quiz on the last week or performing a series of extremely difficult physical challenges. But you can make things a heck of a lot easier on yourself by getting your ass in gear the next two weeks. Between finishing Top 3 at the quizzes and getting physical challnge points, there is no reason any team can’t shoot to the top 15 in the next two weeks.

But there’s no time to waste. Your best shot to earn points? Right now it’s playing at City Tap House, Ugly American, and the Bards. They’re the easiest bars to score a win in right now. And furthermore, I’ll have physical challenge points to give out at actual quizzos this week. So be there! Hope to see ya this week!