German Christmas Village Changes Name to “International Non-Denominational Unicorn Freedom Rainbow Village”

unicorn_rainbow1Earlier today, managing director Richard Negrin decided he should change the name of “German Christmas Village” because a few people complained. In an effort to make the village more palatable to all comers, he decided to change the name to International Non-Denominational Unicorn Freedom Rainbow Village.

“I think we can all agree that there are very few things that people love more than unicorns, freedom, and rainbows,” said Negrin. “Therefore, in an effort to make 100% of the people happy 100% of the time, we have changed the name to that.” He said that he also considered adding the word “Cuddly” to the name, but thought it might offend large, hairy people. Most people visiting the village were ecstatic about the name change.

“I decided to bring my non-denominational friend whose ancestors are from an undisclosed nation to Christmas Village,” said Sally McJackson, “And I was expecting her to be humiliated by that outrageous and filthy word ‘Christmas’ being thrown in her face. So you can imagine how pleased I was when I saw they had changed the name. And she felt right at home. She loves rainbows.” Added McJackson, “Although I do wish they had made it a double rainbow“.

Not everyone was pleased. “I like the idea, but I’m worried about people thinking that unicorns aren’t dangerous by glorifying them in this manner,” said Corie Collar. “If they do indeed exist, one has to think that those horns are a safety hazard.”

When told of Collar’s complaint, Negin sprang into action. “He’s right! Someone could get hurt! Let’s get rid of the unicorns!”

They’ll also be getting rid of the Christmas tree at the Village and replacing it with a “Multi-cultural Majestic Happiness Bush.” When told that the word “happiness” might offend those with symptoms of depression, Negrin said that the word would be removed from the bush.

Double Bounty Tonight at Westbury

Mike is back in action tonight at the Westbury. I’m putting together a team now. Hope to see ya there! Here’s Mike:

Tonight’s quiz starts at the new time of 10 PM.  We had a quite a few new teams come out, so it looks the 10 PM starting time is what the people want.  Best of all, a new team (Tainted Spiderman) won the inaugural challenge round. But it was business as usual in the main event, where Group W and Duane’s World finished one and two.  To shake things up, I’m putting out a DOUBLE bounty on both teams.  Here’s how it works: Beat either team for 2nd place – get $10 extra bucks from yours truly. Beat them both for 1st and get an extra $20. Here’s the kicker – DOUBLE bonus prizes are up for grabs. That’s right, if Group W and Duane’s World both finish out of the money, the first place team get a $40 bonus and the second place team gets $20 extra greenbacks!!  That means if two teams can knock off the big boys, a total of $120 will be awarded. Try to find a prize pool that size at ANY quizzo; go on, I dare you.

I’ll also be giving away some books, CD’s and a real vinyl record before the main event. The newest hit on the quizzo circuit, the Challenge Round, will follow the quiz.  And it’s French Fry Monday.  What more could you want?

All Harry Potter Quiz – A Fortnight Away

In other news, the All Harry Potter quiz at The Ugly American is two weeks from today.  Monday, December 13th at 8 p.m. Save the date; it’s going to be a very special event.  I have some great bonus prizes and an interesting format.  Potter fans are going to LOVE this quiz!  Tune in to this channel tomorrow for all the details.

Big Money Tuesday

bigmoneyNeedless to say, quizzo is cancelled on Thursday. So we’re gonna have to pack 6 quizzes worth of fun into 4 quizzes. We start tonight at O’Neals at 8 p.m. After a few slow weeks, things have been rocking the past two, and we’ve had a lot of fun. Hope we can keep it rolling this week. At the City Tap House, meanwhile, you’re insane if you don’t get a good team together for this one. I mean, seriously, the top prize is now a $100 gift certificate, the largest quizzo prize I am aware of in the city. And here’s the funny thing: we still don’t have a front runner there. 3 different winners in the past three weeks, and never has the winner at the City Tap House had the highest quizzo score for the week. I mean, a $100 gift certificate for basically putting together a halfway decent 6-8 player team. I’m giving away free money here folks! Take it, for heaven’s sakes! Action starts at 10:15 p.m.  Hope to see you tonight.

Lots of Winners at Westbury; Free Vinyl Tonight at Taproom

Per Mike Minion:

Last night, 4 different teams won prizes at the Westbury.  Group W and Duane’s World took down first and second, but Tainted Superman won the inaugural Challenge Round. With only two people on their squad, they were clearly the per-capita champs last night.  In the pre-quizzo action, a member of Crazy Mordew  took home some choice CD’s for correctly identifying The Sugarhill Gang.  Big crowd, lots of winners; a good time had by all.  So where was JGT and his squad?  Well, they backed out at the very last minute. Apparently, the thought of increased competition had them hiding under the covers.  A cowardly act if I ever saw one*.  Maybe stuffing themselves with turkey, succotash, yams, and, well, stuffing will give JGT and his crew a little backbone.  We’ll see next week.

Tonight at the Terrace Taproom promises to be big. Last week, the Challenge Round ended in a tie, so the prize pool starts off loaded and will only grow.  In the regular quiz, Ebonic Plague has emerged as the new team to beat, so I’m adding five bucks to the pot if another team wins.  Also, in addition to some books and CD’s, I’m gonna give away one of my old albums. We always have a great time at the Taproom and the crowd is boisterously and friendly.  Come on out and enjoy the great food and the terrific beer specials, and maybe end up with a real VINYL record!!

*Ed. Note: I believe the no-show was more of an example of sleepiness than cowardice, but that’s for the historians to sort out.

Quizzo Tonight at Westbury

minionAfter a week off at the Westbury, Mike is coming back with a vengeance. Three new features at the quiz tonight that should make for a lot of fun.

Three, count ’em, THREE New Features at The Westbury TONIGHT!!!!

Tonight’s action kicks off at the new earlier time of 10 PM.  We will be starting on time, so we can be sure to finish up by 11:30 or so.  In addition to the already challenging quiz, I’m adding THREE new features to the evening’s lineup.  First is the pre-quiz “Mike Minion Gives Away His Library and Record/CD Collection” segment. Before the quiz, I’ll be asking some shout-out questions.  Yes, folks, in the part of the quiz (and this part ONLY!), I’ll give away a book or two and either a CD or old-style vinyl record to the first person to SHOUT OUT the answer to my questions.  I have over two thousand books and a couple hundred CD’s and albums to get rid of, from the ridiculous to the sublime. Who know what “treasure” you could take home?  There is a rumor that JGT himself will guest host this inagural round.*

Next, will be a French fry question.  Following the first round, some lucky team will win a free basket of fries for simply answering a question.  What could be easier than that?

Then, after the awesome quiz itself will be a challenge round. This will consist of 6 questions, one from each of the 6 categories in the original Trivial Pursuit.  (Geography, History, Entertainment, Arts & Literature, Science & Nature, Sports & Leisure) One question will be REALLY easy, one will be REALLY hard, and the others will be about Round 3 level.  The team that gets the most questions right will take home that evening’s prize. But, here’s the wrinkle: you have to win outright.  If there is a tie, the prize carries over to the next week.  The prize pool will build up week by week, until we get an outright winner.  Of course, to participate in the challenge round, you have to have played the regular quiz. No walking in the last minute just to try to win a prize!

These features will be regular additions to the Westbury weekly quiz.  And, as usual, the Westbury will have it’s regular assortment of keg and bottle specials.  These are some of the best deals in the city on beers** that usually aren’t found on special.  So come on out, rnjoy some great beer and food, see just how good your team is, and maybe take home something extra in the process.  See you at the quiz!

*Editors note: There is?

**Two weeks ago, they had Lagunitas and Ommegang in bottles for $3 each. That is not a misprint. Their specials really are ridiculous.