Earlier today, managing director Richard Negrin decided he should change the name of “German Christmas Village” because a few people complained. In an effort to make the village more palatable to all comers, he decided to change the name to International Non-Denominational Unicorn Freedom Rainbow Village.
“I think we can all agree that there are very few things that people love more than unicorns, freedom, and rainbows,” said Negrin. “Therefore, in an effort to make 100% of the people happy 100% of the time, we have changed the name to that.” He said that he also considered adding the word “Cuddly” to the name, but thought it might offend large, hairy people. Most people visiting the village were ecstatic about the name change.
“I decided to bring my non-denominational friend whose ancestors are from an undisclosed nation to Christmas Village,” said Sally McJackson, “And I was expecting her to be humiliated by that outrageous and filthy word ‘Christmas’ being thrown in her face. So you can imagine how pleased I was when I saw they had changed the name. And she felt right at home. She loves rainbows.” Added McJackson, “Although I do wish they had made it a double rainbow“.
Not everyone was pleased. “I like the idea, but I’m worried about people thinking that unicorns aren’t dangerous by glorifying them in this manner,” said Corie Collar. “If they do indeed exist, one has to think that those horns are a safety hazard.”
When told of Collar’s complaint, Negin sprang into action. “He’s right! Someone could get hurt! Let’s get rid of the unicorns!”
They’ll also be getting rid of the Christmas tree at the Village and replacing it with a “Multi-cultural Majestic Happiness Bush.” When told that the word “happiness” might offend those with symptoms of depression, Negrin said that the word would be removed from the bush.