If you read this website (and odds are, you don’t) you are probably aware that me and a group of other nerds went out to Denver for their Geek Bowl. We finished a disappointing 4th, one point out of the money. Nonetheless, the animosity we (and “we” I mean “I”) engendered with the Denver crowd will make us legends in the Mile High City long after we pass on from this world.
Well, Denver had decided to respond in kind. Several members of Jesus and Tequila, the winners at Quizzo Bowl, will be in attendance at Quizzo Bowl VI, adding a whole new level of intensity to the proceedings. While Vegas has Lambda Lambda Lambda as a slight favorite over Sofa Kingdom, this Denver team has certainly got to be considered a top contender. They have been a powerhouse for years on the Denver Quizzo Circuit, and they pretty much whipped us at Geek Bowl.
Therefore, I need to share a few words with you, Philadelphia: YOU MUST WIN QUIZZO BOWL VI. I mean, it is imperative. If a team comes from some backwoods town out west and takes our trophy, it will be nothing short of disastrous both for the quizzo community and the city at large. You cannot let this happen. So study, Philadelphia! Waste countless hours on wikipedia like you’ve never wasted them before. Because this isn’t just about you any more. This is about your city, this is about your honor. Could you imagine what Ben Franklin would say* if a Denver team came in and took away our title? Everything all of our forefathers fought for to make this the smartest city in America would go right down the drain if some penny ante group of Mile High geeks from a 2nd World city came in and claimed our crown. Come on Philadelphia! This is your night! This is your time! Let’s do this!**
*Yes, I know he’s dead and would say nothing. That’s not the point I’m trying to make here.
**Also, I will not be rapping at this event.